Melanius Mullarkey

Drove past a small one in Stirling earlier. Bunch of fatty gammon cheeked losers. Gave them a toot toot.

The World Cup has become poor and actually quite boring since “big” teams like the Argies, the Jerrys and Brazil have been knocked out. Now I personally could give a f**k what happens.

I’m going to Luss today so there’s a chance I might miss England getting their meatballs cooked by Sweden.

100%

Sounds like pneumonia, m8

This love in with Third Lanark. Who fucking cares? They win f**k all bar the league once in the 1900s and a couple of cups. They fucking died, get over it.

Any football position described by a number tbf given that squad number on shirts have f**k all to do with football positions.

Mantelpiece/poking fire etc.

Looks like it’s been used as a sex dungeon tbf according to a mate.

Just had a nobbly bobbly.

Every fucking day, mate. Every fucking day.

"Premier League Consultant" Ex Sun and Daily Bigot journo

Probably used the mains adapter rather than the AAs.

The wife and I were going to the grand national but she got on the bus to go and got caught up in a large crowd so missed the bus. I ended up sitting in the middle of a 1970s shopping centre with my dad listening to Brian Eno playing some tunes on instruments made from calculators (live) whilst an African woman wandered round trying sell happy birthday wrapping paper. ETA the Eno calculator stuff was very good, he knows how to get a tune from a Casio.

This story in the middle of the one above also caugh my eye. https://www.thescottishsun.co.uk/news/2878546/vibrator-school-show-tell-dundee/

Bleep bleep “John says footy’s on” Crash into a fucking petrol tanker you penis.

I was going to say John Inman. Close.

£25 a quarter to the cooncil for her emergency fall alarm hanging round her neck.

Pizza aisle sign placement incident fiasco?

Maybe the wifie with the big thighs from Busbys walked past Jaymes and her thighs knocked him in. Accidents happen.

To be fair to her, she was probably busy lighting another fag off the cooker at the time.

Not yet as I havent finished the construction. I would say early September though. This is probably the worst part. She had been texting me for about half an hour before hand without me responding. I respond and get the "im busy" treatment followed by the weather shite.