Melanius Mullarkey

Women, sun and clouds. Was going to put up the paddling pool (30 second puff with the electropump from the car) before I went to work this morning. Couldnt be arsed. Now the wife is texting me every time the sun comes out to see "paddling pool needs blown up for the bairn". A minute later, a cloud passes in front of the sun "actually doesnt matter, its cloudy" 30 seconds after cloud passes "looks sunny again, paddling pool would be good" Repeat ad infinitum

Wid

Gareth for Prime Minister!

Is it Hull City?

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Ho ho.

RIP, walloper

At least if you got her pregnant you wouldn’t need to worry.

Certain sports that according to the commentators have “very knowledgable crowds”. Always the fucking snooker at the crucible. And now Wimbledon watching some 5th rate jobbers on Court 257. I imagine rugby is similar.

We’re/are your legs like that as well?

They will if they keep filling their petrol tanks to the brim in this hot weather.

NEWS FLASH! DROP THE DEAD DONKEY!!!!!! Mobile phone found in Dundee https://www.eveningtelegraph.co.uk/fp/found-did-you-lose-mobile-phone-in-dundee/ Is there really f**k all happening here?

No that’s a Wok-a-dial.

Forgot about that one!

Can vouch for this.

I assumed Sweet Peter meant paying off a card by using a credit card to make the payment rather than getting the company to transfer the debt. If not, f**k knows. Im a genius at most things but not credit cards.

I may be talking shite here (it has happend once before circa 1987) but im sure most cards wont let you pay off credit with credit.

Does it ever suddenly get dark in Edinburgh, for a couple of minutes?

What would Gem look like in a bath of milk, I wonder? Thanks MM Kind regards Melanius Mullarkey.

Quite a large side going by that photo.

What about now?

Why the f**k did nobody inform me about Katie Boulter?

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