philpy

Is it possible NOT to feel hungry when watching man vs food??

Who is your manager, david brent??

Had the same scenario when we had a lodger. Had a habit of doing his dishes but leaving everyone elses, also used to smoke out of his bedroom window and leave fag ends scattered around the garden. The final straw was we I found fag ash in one of the recycling crates for paper and cardboard, which could have caused a fire. His party trick was vanishing away first thing on his days off when there was housework needing done. Our rent went up, so his did as well. He claimed he couldnt afford an extra 20 quid a month then he found somewhere else. Which is costing him more rent. Very strange man.

You've got the eye of the tiger.

Im 36, but i'll take being called younger as a very nice compliment. Have a virtual pint on me, good sir.

Not like you to buy trainers....

Well well, the sour puss cow ACTUALLY smiled tonight!!

Booked up for a long weekend in York in June, including a wee tour of one of the breweries.

Well, I get invited to parties, so there's hope for him yet.

Stolen from a recipe book - "the five minute pizza". Cover a tortilla wrap with tomato purée, tear up some ham (or any kind of cold meat really), sprinkle with some oregano, and cover with grated cheese, and pop under the grill at the highest heat for 2 minutes. Nice and simple, and can be done with any topping really.

Folk that avoid you when they are due you money, but if you ever owe them money they don't give you a minute's peace.

Been in bed for half an hour and I've had to get up for a pish FIVE fucking times. I've only had 3 cans of lager.

My next door neighbour had a phone call from her elderly dad's home help on Boxing Day asking her if she had seen her dad's (the neighbour, not the home help) false teeth, as he seemed to have. Lost them on Xmas night. After a few hours of searching, my neighbour found them in her dog's bed, chewed to bits.

What surgery did you have mate?? The wife more or less got her tendon realigned, fused her arch back together. She's got 2 screws in her heel and a metal plate with 4 screws in the top of her foot.

People that don't watch where they are going. In ocean terminal today and some idiot walked out of a shop carrying a kid in his arms, totally unaware to the people walking past the shops. He clattered right into me, thankfully, otherwise he would have tripped over my wife's leg as she was in a wheelchair at the time. My main concern was the kid, he could have been badly injured if the guy had tripped over.

Which was nice.

I'l second that. None of that "pwopa nawty" shit.

Avicii has brought out another country and western tinged effort. Piss off you boring c**t, the first one was shite and so is the new one.

Oh for f**k sake, give it a rest. Fudge is hardly alf garnett is he??

I hope you told him where to stick it...

The wife's obsession with Yankee candles. "But they are nice" she says. Eh, no. Over priced fancy shite.

Dows port.

Mmmhmmm. Dose of the fear is it??

Broken patterns. Sleep for 2 hours, awake for 3, and so on.

Sqaurely?? Its slicely.