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8 minutes ago, 1320Lichtie said:

Good chat up line for somebody that is a carer? Nothing else to work with but that.

She'll spend her time wiping arses and feeding people, mate. Anything that DOESN'T revolve around that would be good. 

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Good chat up line for somebody that is a carer? Nothing else to work with but that.

Was going to post he's finally making a move on his carer but someone has fucked it.
Go with..."You must have to change folk and that? Decent at getting your own drawers then?". Wink and rub your thigh a bit. Guaranteed result.
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I've just witnessed a woman in the pub pour a can of Diet Coke into half a pint of Tennents. Am I missing something or has the world gone mad?


Remember seeing some German folk doing this in Cyprus about 20 years ago. Being cosmopolitan I tried it.....once. Boufin.
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I've just witnessed a woman in the pub pour a can of Diet Coke into half a pint of Tennents. Am I missing something or has the world gone mad?

As someone who has worked in pubs I can tell you that this isn't that uncommon. One of the weirdest ones that I have poured for a customer was half a pint of Guinness mixed with half a pint of lemonade with blackcurrant cordial and a dash of soda water. Disgusting.
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When I'm driving after a night out I drink grapefruit juice and cola mixed together, it was recommended to me by a Norwegian friend as it is a popular drink there with drink drive laws they have. Guinness and a dash of orange is a top drink that not many folk have tried either.

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2 minutes ago, bob the tank said:

When I'm driving after a night out I drink grapefruit juice and cola mixed together, it was recommended to me by a Norwegian friend as it is a popular drink there with drink drive laws they have. Guinness and a dash of orange is a top drink that not many folk have tried either.

du er veldig gullable

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Any ideas about what to do with those cakebox tubs you get blank CDs/DVDs in? I've got a stack of about fifty that need chucking out, and the council don't recycle in our area. Seems like a waste, and I'm sure somebody must use them for something.

Free to a good home, basically.

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Any ideas about what to do with those cakebox tubs you get blank CDs/DVDs in? I've got a stack of about fifty that need chucking out, and the council don't recycle in our area. Seems like a waste, and I'm sure somebody must use them for something.
Free to a good home, basically.


They would make a cracking ring doughnut or bagel holders....
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7 minutes ago, BigFatTabbyDave said:

Any ideas about what to do with those cakebox tubs you get blank CDs/DVDs in? I've got a stack of about fifty that need chucking out, and the council don't recycle in our area. Seems like a waste, and I'm sure somebody must use them for something.

Free to a good home, basically.

I use them as condoms.

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I was watching the "sport for men with odd-shaped balls" yesterday where they described the new points format for the 6 Nations. All well and good, but along with the bonus points for scoring 4 tries or losing by fewer than 7 points, they also told us that winning the Grandslam (i.e. winning all your matches) nets you an extra 3 points. 

What in the blinking flip is the point of that?

"We've won the 6 Nations lads" ... YASSSS!!!!

"We beaten all the other teams" ... GIRFUY!!!!!!

"We've had 3 points added to our final tally!!!"... Oh.

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9 minutes ago, Cardinal Richelieu said:

I was watching the "sport for men with odd-shaped balls" yesterday where they described the new points format for the 6 Nations. All well and good, but along with the bonus points for scoring 4 tries or losing by fewer than 7 points, they also told us that winning the Grandslam (i.e. winning all your matches) nets you an extra 3 points. 

What in the blinking flip is the point of that?

"We've won the 6 Nations lads" ... YASSSS!!!!

"We beaten all the other teams" ... GIRFUY!!!!!!

"We've had 3 points added to our final tally!!!"... Oh.

I think it is to make sure that a Grand Slam winner wins the championship. It would be possible to win all your games and still end up with less points than a team who won 4 games and got loads of bonus points.

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7 minutes ago, Joey Jo Jo Junior Shabadoo said:

I think it is to make sure that a Grand Slam winner wins the championship. It would be possible to win all your games and still end up with less points than a team who won 4 games and got loads of bonus points.

Cheers. I did some "back of a fag packet" calculations at the time, and couldn't see how that was possible. 

Minimum 3 points for a win x 5 wins = 15 points

Maximum 2 points for losing + (Max 4 points for a win x 4) = 16 points. 

I'm an idiot. I've just realised that yesterday I was assuming that each team only played 4 matches, which hasn't happened since 1999 :D

Edit: I'm still a fucking idiot. Even with only 4 games to play, that still doesn't work. That's what I get for watching rugby. 

Edited by Cardinal Richelieu
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2 hours ago, Cardinal Richelieu said:

Cheers. I did some "back of a fag packet" calculations at the time, and couldn't see how that was possible. 

Minimum 3 points for a win x 5 wins = 15 points

Maximum 2 points for losing + (Max 4 points for a win x 4) = 16 points. 

I'm an idiot. I've just realised that yesterday I was assuming that each team only played 4 matches, which hasn't happened since 1999 :D

Edit: I'm still a fucking idiot. Even with only 4 games to play, that still doesn't work. That's what I get for watching rugby. 

4 points for a win, 1 bonus point for 4 tries or more, 1 bonus point for losing within 7.

4 wins with try bonus and 1 defeat by less than 7 and a try bonus = 22 points. 5 wins with nowt else = 23.

HTH

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11 minutes ago, Mark Connolly said:

4 points for a win, 1 bonus point for 4 tries or more, 1 bonus point for losing within 7.

4 wins with try bonus and 1 defeat by less than 7 and a try bonus = 22 points. 5 wins with nowt else = 23.

HTH

It would help if I didn't watch rugby or try and do sums. Thanks chaps :)

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Rugby is pish. Twenty stone man runs into twenty stone man and falls. Repeat many times until ball arrives at seventeen stone man who boots it out the park. The crowd go mad. Add in the stupid points system and it gets even dafter. A complete waste of a grass park.

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Rugby is pish. Twenty stone man runs into twenty stone man and falls. Repeat many times until ball arrives at seventeen stone man who boots it out the park. The crowd go mad. Add in the stupid points system and it gets even dafter. A complete waste of a grass park.


Absolutely this ^^^

Played by morons, watched by morons.
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