welshbairn Posted January 27, 2017 Share Posted January 27, 2017 (edited) 1 hour ago, Cardinal Richelieu said: Queue of people waiting to use a trio of bank machines. The ATM you are using breaks down. Do you go to the back or front of the queue to use another one? If I was at the front of another queue I'd assume that the machine didn't suddenly break down in front of you, and you were either broke or an idiot. So I wouldn't let you in in front of me. If I was the one whose machine broke down I would whimper a bit in case somebody would take sympathy and let me jump the queue, but basically head resignedly to the back. Wids don't come into it at my age, they widnae anyway so fuckem. Edited January 27, 2017 by welshbairn 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cardinal Richelieu Posted January 27, 2017 Share Posted January 27, 2017 1 hour ago, welshbairn said: If I was at the front of another queue I'd assume that the machine didn't suddenly break down in front of you, and you were either broke or an idiot. So I wouldn't let you in in front of me. If I was the one whose machine broke down I would whimper a bit in case somebody would take sympathy and let me jump the queue, but basically head resignedly to the back. Wids don't come into it at my age, they widnae anyway so fuckem. To be fair to the fat girl, the machine gave the illusion of working... it just wouldn't give out any cash. To add insult to injury, the next machine was only firing out twenties and she dinghied that one too. I leapt on, but didn't get to see if she actually tried to jump the queue again to have a shot on the 3rd and final machine. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_Kincardine Posted January 27, 2017 Share Posted January 27, 2017 2 minutes ago, Cardinal Richelieu said: To be fair to the fat girl, the machine gave the illusion of working... it just wouldn't give out any cash. To add insult to injury, the next machine was only firing out twenties and she dinghied that one too. I leapt on, but didn't get to see if she actually tried to jump the queue again to have a shot on the 3rd and final machine. I'm not buying all this niceness. I reckon you should say something like "Saw your card rejected twice @RBS on Bridge Street. I was right behind you and felt for you. Let's set Wigtonshire ablaze Yours in a biretta etc" Post it on the missed connections section of the Free Press and we'll all be agog. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cardinal Richelieu Posted January 27, 2017 Share Posted January 27, 2017 She was wider than she was tall. I have standards ffs. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boghead ranter Posted January 28, 2017 Share Posted January 28, 2017 9 hours ago, Cardinal Richelieu said: She was wider than she was tall. I have standards ffs. So she was actually at all 3 ATMs at the same time anyway? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jimmy boo Posted January 28, 2017 Share Posted January 28, 2017 She was wider than she was tall. I have standards ffs. And finally we get to the hub of the matter. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fullerene Posted January 28, 2017 Share Posted January 28, 2017 16 hours ago, Cardinal Richelieu said: Queue of people waiting to use a trio of bank machines. The ATM you are using breaks down. Do you go to the back or front of the queue to use another one? Say "Hey this one is giving out double what I asked for" Then while they all switch to that one, you quickly use the one that works! Then run. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
topcat(The most tip top) Posted January 28, 2017 Share Posted January 28, 2017 Only one of us is celibate in this discussion, chap. Celibacy isn't the same thing as chastity 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hk blues Posted January 28, 2017 Share Posted January 28, 2017 No way I'd let somebody who's already broken one ATM jump in front of me. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted January 28, 2017 Share Posted January 28, 2017 I was watching some of these ATM videos earlier. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GordonD Posted January 28, 2017 Share Posted January 28, 2017 14 hours ago, Cardinal Richelieu said: She was wider than she was tall. I have standards ffs. Presumably she has as well - which is why you got a knock-back. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swarley Posted January 29, 2017 Share Posted January 29, 2017 Spartans telly is who? [emoji85] 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fullerene Posted January 29, 2017 Share Posted January 29, 2017 One time I was in Leicester Square in the days before mobile phones. I went to use one of the public phones and there was a long queue for the one on the right. I decided to try the one on the left. Not only did it work but it gave me all my money back. After that, I informed the people in the queue but they obviously concluded that I was a nutcase and there was no way they were going to lose their place in the queue. Some people just love queues. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cardinal Richelieu Posted January 29, 2017 Share Posted January 29, 2017 I've just witnessed a woman in the pub pour a can of Diet Coke into half a pint of Tennents. Am I missing something or has the world gone mad? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joey Jo Jo Junior Shabadoo Posted January 29, 2017 Share Posted January 29, 2017 4 minutes ago, Cardinal Richelieu said: I've just witnessed a woman in the pub pour a can of Diet Coke into half a pint of Tennents. Am I missing something or has the world gone mad? I think we've arrived at peak OFTW. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GordonD Posted January 29, 2017 Share Posted January 29, 2017 32 minutes ago, Cardinal Richelieu said: I've just witnessed a woman in the pub pour a can of Diet Coke into half a pint of Tennents. Am I missing something or has the world gone mad? This was many years ago, but a friend of my dad's was a coach driver and told us once that they had stopped at a pub for lunch. He saw somebody order a pint of lager, topped off with tomato juice. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aidan Posted January 29, 2017 Share Posted January 29, 2017 Has anyone used both the standard uber and the uber exec? And if so is it worth paying the bit extra for it? I have a code to use so it's only gonna be an extra tenner or something. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted January 29, 2017 Share Posted January 29, 2017 1 hour ago, Cardinal Richelieu said: I've just witnessed a woman in the pub pour a can of Diet Coke into half a pint of Tennents. Am I missing something or has the world gone mad? Are you in the new Wetherspoons on Lothian Road, Edinburgh? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cardinal Richelieu Posted January 29, 2017 Share Posted January 29, 2017 1 hour ago, Shandon Par said: Are you in the new Wetherspoons on Lothian Road, Edinburgh? Nope. I was in Weegieland. Is lager and diet cola a thing out West? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted January 29, 2017 Share Posted January 29, 2017 1 hour ago, Cardinal Richelieu said: Nope. I was in Weegieland. Is lager and diet cola a thing out West? Sorry Your Eminence, that was simply a cheap dig at throbber and his love of sophisticated new Wetherspoons. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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