NorthernJambo Posted July 21, 2017 Share Posted July 21, 2017 There once was a pub called 'Spoons It was frequented by jaikie loons In Lonsdales they'd lounge For pints they'd scrounge And get into fights at closing There once was a pub called 'Spoons Which offered no background tunes Still though throbber did go With his Mrs in tow To meet the other jakey wee loons Credit to KB for inspiring the above piece. (Disclaimer; one of the spoons here doesn't have any music on. It's a depressing, soulless place) 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KnightswoodBear Posted July 21, 2017 Share Posted July 21, 2017 It has occurred to me that my photogragh on my passcard is almost 20 years old. Should I get it changed? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KnightswoodBear Posted July 21, 2017 Share Posted July 21, 2017 Just now, Melanius Mullarkey said: Is it the pre-op one? The process had begun, but wasn't finished. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted July 21, 2017 Share Posted July 21, 2017 5 minutes ago, KnightswoodBear said: The process had begun, but wasn't finished. It still hasn't, you've nae tits. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted July 21, 2017 Share Posted July 21, 2017 5 hours ago, KnightswoodBear said: There once was a pub called 'Spoons It was frequented by jaikie loons In Lonsdales they'd lounge For pints they'd scrounge And get into fights at closing The romatic wee jake A city break he did take, Not for culture or ruins But to explore a new Wetherspoons, At his favourite chain pub His good lady did stuff Many chips And gallons of wine in her gub Back in the room She begged him to knob her "I can't I'm too pissed" The wee Highlander slobbered Fortunately for him, on the very same floor A Championship team was ready to score She was speared and re-speared By these lower league jobbers And now she's expecting a wee baby "throbber" 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted July 22, 2017 Share Posted July 22, 2017 On 21/07/2017 at 01:43, Bully Wee Villa said: Plus, I'm sure kids are allowed in Wetherspoons until a certain time, so it won't drastically affect his cultural lifestyle. 8pm. According to a mate, naturally. (Cheers for that, Throbberta) 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miguel Sanchez Posted July 22, 2017 Share Posted July 22, 2017 Why do churches all smell the same? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
8MileBU Posted July 22, 2017 Share Posted July 22, 2017 Why do churches all smell the same? Holy shit. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted July 22, 2017 Share Posted July 22, 2017 Just now, Miguel Sanchez said: Why do churches all smell the same? Old people don't wash very much and cover up the smell with cheap perfume and deodorant. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisa Cuddy Posted July 22, 2017 Share Posted July 22, 2017 2 hours ago, Melanius Mullarkey said: Its to hide the smell of priests and vicars touching up the kids. Does touching kids produce a smell? You seem to know. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisa Cuddy Posted July 22, 2017 Share Posted July 22, 2017 2 minutes ago, Melanius Mullarkey said: Every time I give my daughter a cuddle, she seems to fart. Mate, she's trying to tell you something. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DA Baracus Posted July 23, 2017 Share Posted July 23, 2017 Just what is it that snakes are so furious about? They slither around all the time absolutely seething 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stellaboz Posted July 23, 2017 Share Posted July 23, 2017 Probably lost the launch codes from Shadow Moses Island. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joey Jo Jo Junior Shabadoo Posted July 23, 2017 Share Posted July 23, 2017 (edited) 34 minutes ago, DA Baracus said: Just what is it that snakes are so furious about? They slither around all the time absolutely seething Some c**t forced them out of Ireland. ETA: They were also badmouthed seriously in the Bible. That's going to sting. Edited July 23, 2017 by Joey Jo Jo Junior Shabadoo 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted July 23, 2017 Share Posted July 23, 2017 16 minutes ago, Joey Jo Jo Junior Shabadoo said: Some c**t forced them out of Ireland. Like Johnny Adair? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted July 24, 2017 Share Posted July 24, 2017 3 minutes ago, Melanius Mullarkey said: Why does the Tripadvisor owl logo have different coloured eyes? Someone at HQ thought it would be a hoot. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted July 24, 2017 Share Posted July 24, 2017 16 minutes ago, Melanius Mullarkey said: Why does the Tripadvisor owl logo have different coloured eyes? Tired decor that needs some refurbishment. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GordonD Posted July 24, 2017 Share Posted July 24, 2017 On 22/07/2017 at 15:21, Melanius Mullarkey said: Every time I give my daughter a cuddle, she seems to fart. I'm basing my assumptions on that. I'm not a total pervert, contrary to the writing in the bogs. Didn't think your daughter could reach that high. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dee Man Posted July 24, 2017 Share Posted July 24, 2017 How come when you go into an opticians, none of the models in the pictures look like they suit glasses? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HenryHill Posted July 24, 2017 Share Posted July 24, 2017 On 23/07/2017 at 19:25, DA Baracus said: Just what is it that snakes are so furious about? They slither around all the time absolutely seething They spend their entire life utterly legless. Maybe they drink stella. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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