paranoid android Posted August 31, 2020 Share Posted August 31, 2020 (edited) On 28/08/2020 at 15:21, supermik said: Just went into the pub and got a pint. Just been told that something has happened with a licensing issue and they can no longer serve any alcohol today or all weekend! I'm told their license was revoked for not complying with social distancing measures - can't say I'm shocked at that, tbh. Apparently, the lady running the pub next door runs a tight Ship, so they're ok. Edited August 31, 2020 by paranoid android 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MONKMAN Posted August 31, 2020 Share Posted August 31, 2020 I thought it was widely accepted that Paul Gascoigne was a complete cretin. -1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted August 31, 2020 Share Posted August 31, 2020 1 hour ago, Hedgecutter said: Found out yesterday that my other half's 91yo gran from Elgin has been to Canada, the US, Sweden, Italy, Spain and RoI... but never England. Flagrant disregard of lockdown laws there from the granny. She should be locked up. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ICTJohnboy Posted August 31, 2020 Share Posted August 31, 2020 Anyone noticed how much bigger hedgehogs have become over the past few years? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bennett Posted August 31, 2020 Share Posted August 31, 2020 Haven't seen a hedgehog in ages, folk building garden walls and fences stop them going from garden to garden. Probably why there's an increase in slugs and snails. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
speckled tangerine Posted August 31, 2020 Share Posted August 31, 2020 When I was a small boy I genuinely believed that blind people could see if they wore black sunglasses. Mainly due to Stevie Wonder singing on the telly: "Why's that man wearing sunglasses indoors mummy?" "Because he's blind" But I'm thinking he's wearing sunglasses AND playing the piano. I thought it was a cure. Simpler times. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Academically Deficient Posted August 31, 2020 Share Posted August 31, 2020 3 hours ago, Melanius Mullarkey said: Beat me to it. The only commendable item in the long list of Gascoigne's idiotic behaviour was when he destroyed Dennis Wise's suit. The bitter bit. Stopped clocks right twice a day. Couldn't happen to a nicer guy etc. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
101 Posted August 31, 2020 Share Posted August 31, 2020 2 hours ago, Hedgecutter said: Found out yesterday that my other half's 91yo gran from Elgin has been to Canada, the US, Sweden, Italy, Spain and RoI... but never England. Good on her 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tamthebam Posted August 31, 2020 Share Posted August 31, 2020 50 minutes ago, ICTJohnboy said: Anyone noticed how much bigger hedgehogs have become over the past few years? Dinsdale found 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DA Baracus Posted August 31, 2020 Share Posted August 31, 2020 Had an extremely unsettling experience last night. I had a pretty horrible nightmare, a genuinely terrifying one. I woke up scared to f**k, heart absolutely racing. I fumbled for the light on my bedside table and it wouldn't turn on. Massive panic. I was shitting it and tried the big light in the room, and it wouldn't go on. I was absolutely fucked up with fear by this point. Turns out I was still asleep and I had had an Inception type nightmare where I had a nightmare in my nightmare. I somehow realised this but also couldn't do anything about it for what felt like ages but was probably only a minute (time is fucked up in dreams). I was actually aware of being trapped in my sleep. Grim. When I woke up for real I gave out a little involuntary shout and actually had to take a minute to catch by breath as I was almost hyperventilating due to how fast my heart was going such was my level of absolutely shitting it. Obviously the beside light went on straight away this time. Not ashamed to say that I left it on most of the night. Have never experienced anything like that before and hope I never do again. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tamthebam Posted August 31, 2020 Share Posted August 31, 2020 2 hours ago, KnightswoodBear said: I'm pretty sure it was Eric Bo Andersen he pished on whilst at Rangers. I would have thought if he tried doing it to Gough your suggestion would have come true. I was beginning to warm to Gazza when I read he'd pissed on Gough and now you've spoilt that. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MSU Posted August 31, 2020 Share Posted August 31, 2020 Some boi. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Theroadlesstravelled Posted August 31, 2020 Share Posted August 31, 2020 The only person he's been pissing on recently is himself. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ICTChris Posted August 31, 2020 Share Posted August 31, 2020 Had an extremely unsettling experience last night. I had a pretty horrible nightmare, a genuinely terrifying one. I woke up scared to f**k, heart absolutely racing. I fumbled for the light on my bedside table and it wouldn't turn on. Massive panic. I was shitting it and tried the big light in the room, and it wouldn't go on. I was absolutely fucked up with fear by this point. Turns out I was still asleep and I had had an Inception type nightmare where I had a nightmare in my nightmare. I somehow realised this but also couldn't do anything about it for what felt like ages but was probably only a minute (time is fucked up in dreams). I was actually aware of being trapped in my sleep. Grim. When I woke up for real I gave out a little involuntary shout and actually had to take a minute to catch by breath as I was almost hyperventilating due to how fast my heart was going such was my level of absolutely shitting it. Obviously the beside light went on straight away this time. Not ashamed to say that I left it on most of the night. Have never experienced anything like that before and hope I never do again.I believe this is called sleep paralysis or night terrors. It’s a recognised condition, although it usually involves you thinking someone or something is in the room with you.I don’t know what the solution is, other than no cheese before bedtime. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Derry Alli Posted September 1, 2020 Share Posted September 1, 2020 11 hours ago, DA Baracus said: I was actually aware of being trapped in my sleep. Grim. WAKE UP! YOUR HOOSE IS ON FIRE! 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacksgranda Posted September 1, 2020 Share Posted September 1, 2020 12 hours ago, Theroadlesstravelled said: The only person he's been pissing on recently is himself. For all his footballing skills and honours I'd rather be me than him. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacksgranda Posted September 1, 2020 Share Posted September 1, 2020 1 hour ago, Mr. Alli said: WAKE UP! YOUR HOOSE IS ON FIRE! When we lived in Montrose the door got a chap and somebody shouted in "Your chimeys on fire." We already knew this, and we children were all in the sitting room (it was the living room chimney which was on fire). Our aunt was in a bit of a tizzy, can't remember where our parents were. I think the fire was just left to burn itself out, I don't remember the fire brigade being called. Unlike the time my mother left the chip pan on, to discover the kitchen was on fire. My father carried it out of the house (which you're not supposed to do, as far as I know), I wakened my brother who was asleep upstairs before I phoned the fire brigade. My mother went back into the living room and finished her meal... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted September 1, 2020 Share Posted September 1, 2020 Dunfermline have just been bought by some wealthy Germans. Hoping they can get Sammy a decent new set of wheels and a smarter outfit. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Szamo's_Ammo Posted September 1, 2020 Share Posted September 1, 2020 6 minutes ago, Shandon Par said: Dunfermline have just been bought by some wealthy Germans. Hoping they can get Sammy a decent new set of wheels and a smarter outfit. I'm hearing an owner of one of your league rivals is saying Dunfermline's newly acquired wealth off the radar isnae fair. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted September 1, 2020 Share Posted September 1, 2020 20 minutes ago, Szamo's_Ammo said: I'm hearing an owner of one of your league rivals is saying Dunfermline's newly acquired wealth off the radar isnae fair. They seem dreadfully normal compared to the usual sort of folk that buy Scottish clubs. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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