Things you want to share with P&B

[Soapy FFC]

1 hour ago, BFTD said:

For any curious youngsters reading this, do NOT listen to the old men and rub these products on your genitals.

Thank you.

... or Veet Men Hair Removal Cream (read the top review)

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Veet-Men-Hair-Removal-Cream/product-reviews/B00KX3PF22

 

Edited May 20 by Soapy FFC

[Spyro]

10 hours ago, eindhovendee said:

That reminds me of playing Sunday morning football back in the early 90s.

We were playing at Riverside in Dundee in January. It was a typical miserable day and all wondering why we bothered. 

Any Dundonian that has ever played at Riverside will tell you how shit it is when it's cold and windy, it's literally next to the Tay, anyway, the game was unremarkable apart from being fucking freezing, we only had one sub that came on into the second half before he had solidified to ice. 

The lad that went off took the dressing room key and said he'd leave it with the Parky in charge and he'd drive up to the pub and see us there.

We finished the game got showered and dressed then all piled into cars to go to the pub.

We were just passing what is now the V&A when the driver of the car started screaming and swearing and the rest of us were just looking at him bemused. 

Not for long, within the next 5 minutes we had all joined in, the b*****d that got subbed had quite methodically rubbed Ralgex into our boxers/undies and the sting was unbelievable. The driver drove like a maniac to the pub while down below got hotter and hotter and when we got there the rest of the team were all leaping out of cars and running straight to the pub bogs where we were about to get rid of the red hot knickers. 

The b*****d that did it was sat there laughing as we all ran in but had fucked off before we reappeared from the bogs.

Stung for hours.

tl;dr

We lost 1-0.

We done that to the Watsonians seniors rugby team after our 3rd-4th year game finished earlier than theirs. The door between the 2 changing rooms was left open so we got to work before quickly hiding up the back of the bus waiting to go home, hoping our seniors were changed and on board quick enough to save us a kick in! We declined a rematch

[Melanius Mullarkey]

10 hours ago, tamthebam said:

Old Mother Hubbard went to the cupboard,

To fetch her poor doggie a bone, 

When she got there, 

The cupboard was bare, 

So the dog gave her a bone of his own.. 

A bloke from Hull taught me this lovely ditty. It wasn't Philip Larkin. 

This boy?

[Sergeant Wilson]

1 hour ago, Spyro said:

We done that to the Watsonians seniors rugby team after our 3rd-4th year game finished earlier than theirs. The door between the 2 changing rooms was left open so we got to work before quickly hiding up the back of the bus waiting to go home, hoping our seniors were changed and on board quick enough to save us a kick in! We declined a rematch

...then had some pints of vomit and a game of pish on a poor person. 

[Spyro]

9 minutes ago, Sergeant Wilson said:

...then had some pints of vomit and a game of pish on a poor person. 

It was Lasswade so we were mostly failed footballers than actual rugby minded c***s

[Nkomo-A-Gogo]

11 hours ago, Shandon Par said:

She was in the dog?

 

 

[Sergeant Wilson]

4 minutes ago, Spyro said:

It was Lasswade so we were mostly failed footballers than actual rugby minded c***s

My point remains, tally ho!

[Spyro]

3 minutes ago, Sergeant Wilson said:

My point remains, tally ho!

Fair enough, I deserve it for my sins

[GordonD]

10 hours ago, Soapy FFC said:

... or Veet Men Hair Removal Cream (read the top review)

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Veet-Men-Hair-Removal-Cream/product-reviews/B00KX3PF22

 

Most alarming thing about that is that he didn't throw away the ice cream afterwards.

[Alert Mongoose]

13 hours ago, eindhovendee said:

That reminds me of playing Sunday morning football back in the early 90s.

We were playing at Riverside in Dundee in January. It was a typical miserable day and all wondering why we bothered. 

Any Dundonian that has ever played at Riverside will tell you how shit it is when it's cold and windy, it's literally next to the Tay, anyway, the game was unremarkable apart from being fucking freezing, we only had one sub that came on into the second half before he had solidified to ice. 

The lad that went off took the dressing room key and said he'd leave it with the Parky in charge and he'd drive up to the pub and see us there.

We finished the game got showered and dressed then all piled into cars to go to the pub.

We were just passing what is now the V&A when the driver of the car started screaming and swearing and the rest of us were just looking at him bemused. 

Not for long, within the next 5 minutes we had all joined in, the b*****d that got subbed had quite methodically rubbed Ralgex into our boxers/undies and the sting was unbelievable. The driver drove like a maniac to the pub while down below got hotter and hotter and when we got there the rest of the team were all leaping out of cars and running straight to the pub bogs where we were about to get rid of the red hot knickers. 

The b*****d that did it was sat there laughing as we all ran in but had fucked off before we reappeared from the bogs.

Stung for hours.

tl;dr

We lost 1-0.

I played there for many years. The worst was one morning where the hailstones were lashing down almost horizontally. Duggie and his band of refs watched us from their cars putting up the nets etc. He then opened the car door before pronouncing 'f**k that, games are all cancelled lads'.  To suggest we were seething probably understates it somewhat.

[eindhovendee]

5 minutes ago, Alert Mongoose said:

I played there for many years. The worst was one morning where the hailstones were lashing down almost horizontally. Duggie and his band of refs watched us from their cars putting up the nets etc. He then opened the car door before pronouncing 'f**k that, games are all cancelled lads'.  To suggest we were seething probably understates it somewhat.

I'm surprised Duggie didn't try and referee from his car. He wouldn't have moved much less than normal. 

[Alert Mongoose]

17 minutes ago, eindhovendee said:

I'm surprised Duggie didn't try and referee from his car. He wouldn't have moved much less than normal. 

Indeed. His 'heatmap' was largely confined to the centre circle.

[Salt n Vinegar]

I don't know if there'll be much feedback on this, or even if this is the correct thread, but I found this interesting -

https://www.thenational.scot/news/24334355.census-scots-ever-identifying-scottish-not-british/

According to the last census...

"TWO-THIRDS of people in Scotland identify only as Scottish, not British, according to new findings from the census.

The data, which was published on Tuesday and collected by a nationwide census in 2022, also found that the majority of the Scots population say they have no religion – for the first time ever.

Religious Britain lovers will be doing their collective nut.  Seems fine to me though.

[buchan30]

Since my late teens i have always been overweight, not to the extent of being obese and when i have hit weights like 14st and even 13 and a half stone (i’m 5’8 so neither of they weights are good for me and i hate my body when i am) I have went all out and lost the weight, either myself or through gym classes and through the Rovers community fitness. 
At the start of the year my wife was taken into hospital for surgery and i was off work for 7 weeks and i went from walking 12/13 miles a day at a brisk pace at work, to doing about 3 miles just pottering around the house, heading to the shop etc. As a result my weight has went back up to over 14st. I have taken the drastic action of cutting out chocolate at work as chocolate in general seems to be my main downfall and it seems to be working. I am not cutting it out on days off, but even by doing so at work in the space of a week, i have lost 4 pounds. There is no point at the moment, cutting it out altogether on my days off, because i don’t think it would help, but Anyone who knows me, knows how much i love chocolate, but i have found going without, surprisingly ok. I thought after two days i would be rushing for big bars of galaxy or dairy milk, but it has been fine. 
 

Apologies about the length of this, but i just needed somewhere to vent/talk about it. Could have possibly went in the get fit thread.

[scottsdad]

5 minutes ago, buchan30 said:

Since my late teens i have always been overweight, not to the extent of being obese and when i have hit weights like 14st and even 13 and a half stone (i’m 5’8 so neither of they weights are good for me and i hate my body when i am) I have went all out and lost the weight, either myself or through gym classes and through the Rovers community fitness. 
At the start of the year my wife was taken into hospital for surgery and i was off work for 7 weeks and i went from walking 12/13 miles a day at a brisk pace at work, to doing about 3 miles just pottering around the house, heading to the shop etc. As a result my weight has went back up to over 14st. I have taken the drastic action of cutting out chocolate at work as chocolate in general seems to be my main downfall and it seems to be working. I am not cutting it out on days off, but even by doing so at work in the space of a week, i have lost 4 pounds. There is no point at the moment, cutting it out altogether on my days off, because i don’t think it would help, but Anyone who knows me, knows how much i love chocolate, but i have found going without, surprisingly ok. I thought after two days i would be rushing for big bars of galaxy or dairy milk, but it has been fine. 
 

Apologies about the length of this, but i just needed somewhere to vent/talk about it. Could have possibly went in the get fit thread.

I am in a similar boat. My wife was off work for 3 months from new year, and my twice-daily walks at work just stopped. Well aware I have put on the beef. 

The wife is feeling it too as her medication is causing weight gain.

Back on campus now, back walking. And, of course, reducing the midweek drinking helps.

[Florentine_Pogen]

11 minutes ago, buchan30 said:

Since my late teens i have always been overweight, not to the extent of being obese and when i have hit weights like 14st and even 13 and a half stone (i’m 5’8 so neither of they weights are good for me and i hate my body when i am) I have went all out and lost the weight, either myself or through gym classes and through the Rovers community fitness. 
At the start of the year my wife was taken into hospital for surgery and i was off work for 7 weeks and i went from walking 12/13 miles a day at a brisk pace at work, to doing about 3 miles just pottering around the house, heading to the shop etc. As a result my weight has went back up to over 14st. I have taken the drastic action of cutting out chocolate at work as chocolate in general seems to be my main downfall and it seems to be working. I am not cutting it out on days off, but even by doing so at work in the space of a week, i have lost 4 pounds. There is no point at the moment, cutting it out altogether on my days off, because i don’t think it would help, but Anyone who knows me, knows how much i love chocolate, but i have found going without, surprisingly ok. I thought after two days i would be rushing for big bars of galaxy or dairy milk, but it has been fine. 
 

Apologies about the length of this, but i just needed somewhere to vent/talk about it. Could have possibly went in the get fit thread.

 

[BFTD]

34 minutes ago, buchan30 said:

Since my late teens i have always been overweight, not to the extent of being obese and when i have hit weights like 14st and even 13 and a half stone (i’m 5’8 so neither of they weights are good for me and i hate my body when i am) I have went all out and lost the weight, either myself or through gym classes and through the Rovers community fitness. 
At the start of the year my wife was taken into hospital for surgery and i was off work for 7 weeks and i went from walking 12/13 miles a day at a brisk pace at work, to doing about 3 miles just pottering around the house, heading to the shop etc. As a result my weight has went back up to over 14st. I have taken the drastic action of cutting out chocolate at work as chocolate in general seems to be my main downfall and it seems to be working. I am not cutting it out on days off, but even by doing so at work in the space of a week, i have lost 4 pounds. There is no point at the moment, cutting it out altogether on my days off, because i don’t think it would help, but Anyone who knows me, knows how much i love chocolate, but i have found going without, surprisingly ok. I thought after two days i would be rushing for big bars of galaxy or dairy milk, but it has been fine. 
 

Apologies about the length of this, but i just needed somewhere to vent/talk about it. Could have possibly went in the get fit thread.

You think it's the chocolate, but it's the refined sugar you are/were craving, and you've probably been eating to compensate for the stress of your missus' procedure. I found cutting out sugar altogether made a fucking huge difference and I lost stones.

Then I went through a load of stress over a lengthy period of time (which hasn't entirely finished yet) and it all went back on. I know how to get rid of it again, at least. Hope your missus is doing better; I know someone whose wife has been going through a long and miserable illness for the past few years, and he's absolutely piled on the weight like you wouldn't believe. The brain is a funny thing with how it handles situations.

[buchan30]

5 minutes ago, BFTD said:

You think it's the chocolate, but it's the refined sugar you are/were craving, and you've probably been eating to compensate for the stress of your missus' procedure. I found cutting out sugar altogether made a fucking huge difference and I lost stones.

Then I went through a load of stress over a lengthy period of time (which hasn't entirely finished yet) and it all went back on. I know how to get rid of it again, at least. Hope your missus is doing better; I know someone whose wife has been going through a long and miserable illness for the past few years, and he's absolutely piled on the weight like you wouldn't believe. The brain is a funny thing with how it handles situations.

It is a very complex thing. Hope you can get things sorted and back on track. You are absolutely right what you are saying about stress. When i have been in situations of high stress, it has always been the thing i turn to, like me just pushing the self destruct button, especially when i was doing well. I used to think Irn Bru was the problem, but i have always been able to reduce and sometimes increase the amount of it i drink. 
 

eta: yeah, the wife is back on her feet and back at work. Was neck surgery for herniated discs. She goes back on nights next week though where there is less help, so she will need to be mega careful.

Edited May 21 by buchan30

[DiegoDiego]

I knew that Guy Pearce was in Neighbours, but didn't realise he was Jason's best man when he married Kylie, and that he never changed his pose until at least Momento:

[BFTD]

5 minutes ago, buchan30 said:

It is a very complex thing. Hope you can get things sorted and back on track. You are absolutely right what you are saying about stress. When i have been in situations of high stress, it has always been the thing i turn to, like me just pushing the self destruct button, especially when i was doing well. I used to think Irn Bru was the problem, but i have always been able to reduce and sometimes increase the amount of it i drink. 

Believe it or not, you can change what tickles your taste buds over time. I changed to diet drinks many moons ago rather than just stop the sugary stuff, and I really wasn't keen on the taste for a long time, but it was better than plain water. It's the other way round these days; If I ever have a sugary drink, it's like drinking syrup and turns my stomach a bit. You don't realise quite how thick they are when you're drinking them regularly.