Things you want to share with P&B

[Dee Man]

3 hours ago, NJ2 said:

Eric doffing his cap to you there. Didn’t realise you socialised with the Tory elite, expected better.

He looks exactly like the type of c**t who goes through life with a teflon vest on and as soon as he snuffs it all sorts of allegations of illegal sexual activities arise. 

[NJ2]

He looks exactly like the type of c**t who goes through life with a teflon vest on and as soon as he snuffs it all sorts of allegations of illegal sexual activities arise. 

Probably right. If anyone would try to style out a Teflon vest it would be Shandon.

[Derry Alli]

It's nearly midnight and I've just finished a Pizza Express sloppy guisseppe. 

[KnightswoodBear]

20 hours ago, Shandon Par said:

Got a letter today from this person. Not too sure why but he wants to invite me to a party. Maybe he reads P&B? Kincy or KB most likely.

As you've now shared this exclusive, secret and very, very sexual event online, please take this post as me uninviting you.

Please return the gimp mask included with the invite asap (Must be unworn)

[stumigoo]

Not really sure where to put this but wanted to get it off my chest. My grandad, my mum's dad (I'm lucky that both are still alive) is in his early 90s and has been living with dementia for the last 6 or 7 years. He 'unfortunately' is in bloody good physical health given he worked in the shipyards all his life, was a mountain climber, skier and semi-professional speed skater (makes my achievements so far look pretty shit!). That means he has been coping well with the physical side condition but recently it has deteriorated so he has been told he has to move from his little sheltered flat in Dundee (roughly £350 a month) to a nursing home. Now, my grandad was a very traditional Scottish man so he basically never spent a penny his whole life, saved everything and managed to buy his first house, with my gran, in cash, in full, because they had kept all their money under their floorboards.

Anyway, with no debt and a few assets he now has to pay pretty much, in full, his costs for being in this nursing home. The costs given to my mum and dad meant they had to look around and were offered  place last week at a place in Dundee. The cost is roughly £1200 A WEEK. I know most of you will know that the cost of Nursing Homes is high and there are little bits that can be shaved off that price but the rough amount now is looking like £800 a week. That will now start to come out of my grandad's savings, and then when that runs out, his house. I just find it horrible that he lived within his means his whole life, was employed every single day since leaving school, never got into trouble, never did anything wrong and now this is what is going to be happening to him as he approaches the end of his life. Between that and the dementia stripping away all of his memories it is a shite, shite situation.

[Shandon Par]

3 minutes ago, stumigoo said:

Not really sure where to put this but wanted to get it off my chest. My grandad, my mum's dad (I'm lucky that both are still alive) is in his early 90s and has been living with dementia for the last 6 or 7 years. He 'unfortunately' is in bloody good physical health given he worked in the shipyards all his life, was a mountain climber, skier and semi-professional speed skater (makes my achievements so far look pretty shit!). That means he has been coping well with the physical side condition but recently it has deteriorated so he has been told he has to move from his little sheltered flat in Dundee (roughly £350 a month) to a nursing home. Now, my grandad was a very traditional Scottish man so he basically never spent a penny his whole life, saved everything and managed to buy his first house, with my gran, in cash, in full, because they had kept all their money under their floorboards.

Anyway, with no debt and a few assets he now has to pay pretty much, in full, his costs for being in this nursing home. The costs given to my mum and dad meant they had to look around and were offered  place last week at a place in Dundee. The cost is roughly £1200 A WEEK. I know most of you will know that the cost of Nursing Homes is high and there are little bits that can be shaved off that price but the rough amount now is looking like £800 a week. That will now start to come out of my grandad's savings, and then when that runs out, his house. I just find it horrible that he lived within his means his whole life, was employed every single day since leaving school, never got into trouble, never did anything wrong and now this is what is going to be happening to him as he approaches the end of his life. Between that and the dementia stripping away all of his memories it is a shite, shite situation.

Going through similar stuff with my mum, looking at nursing home or converting her place into a mini hospital ward. Went to see her last night (she's in a temporary/assessment ward in hospital just now) and could see she was crying as I left. I'm a wee bit hardened to it having had quite a few friends and relatives face terminal illness etc but it's the first time I've had to be involved in all the accommodation/care/solicitor stuff etc and it's quite heavy going on top of having work/family commitments. 

[pandarilla]

You're right to be outraged stu - it's a horrible situation to find your family in.

It might be one of the illnesses that is feared the most, and then to be shafted by the social care system is a double whammy. It's not right.

Are all nursing homes privatised (I luckily haven't had any dealings with this issue)? Is this another industry that is sucking profit from state funding?

[KnightswoodBear]

That is a shite situation @stumigoo.  It's not fair on you or your family and it's not fair on your grandad.  And he sounds like the kind of guy that wouldn't want to be a burden on the family either, but finds himself in this scenario through no fault of his own.  Fucking awful.

 

Edited July 16, 2019 by KnightswoodBear

[stumigoo]

11 minutes ago, Shandon Par said:

Going through similar stuff with my mum, looking at nursing home or converting her place into a mini hospital ward. Went to see her last night (she's in a temporary/assessment ward in hospital just now) and could see she was crying as I left. I'm a wee bit hardened to it having had quite a few friends and relatives face terminal illness etc but it's the first time I've had to be involved in all the accommodation/care/solicitor stuff etc and it's quite heavy going on top of having work/family commitments. 

Feel for you, I am a bit detached from the actual process given it is being dealt with by my mum and dad but they are going through a difficult time of it given they are having to now think about what might happen if his savings run out and they have to see his house etc.

9 minutes ago, pandarilla said:

You're right to be outraged stu - it's a horrible situation to find your family in.

It might be one of the illnesses that is feared the most, and then to be shafted by the social care system is a double whammy. It's not right.

Are all nursing homes privatised (I luckily haven't had any dealings with this issue)? Is this another industry that is sucking profit from state funding?
 

I think it is the case that if he had no assets and no savings then it would be paid for him, which seems ridiculous. I know my dad has sent a few letters to the Health Secretary etc to get some feedback from them but he knows that nothing will change.

4 minutes ago, KnightswoodBear said:

That is a shite situation @stumigoo.  It's not fair on you or your family and it's not fair on your grandad.  And he sounds like the kind of guy that wouldn't want to be a burden on the family either, but finds himself in this scenario through no fault of his own.  Fucking awful.

 

That is the real challenge, the reason I mentioned his physical health in my post is that my mum is at the stage where she would just want him to pass away and it is definitely the case that if he knew what was going on he would be unbelievably embarrassed and being so traditional and head strong he would probably walk up into the Scottish hills with a bottle of whisky to end things. 

[KnightswoodBear]

1 minute ago, stumigoo said:

 

That is the real challenge, the reason I mentioned his physical health in my post is that my mum is at the stage where she would just want him to pass away and it is definitely the case that if he knew what was going on he would be unbelievably embarrassed and being so traditional and head strong he would probably walk up into the Scottish hills with a bottle of whisky to end things. 

I don't want to be insensitive, but I imagine from what you're saying we're probably on the same page, but we wouldn't let an animal suffer like this.  I find it astonishing that I can't have the choice to be put out of my misery (and by extension, save my family a lot of financial and emotional suffering) if I was to find myself in this scenario.

[Ross.]

19 minutes ago, stumigoo said:

Not really sure where to put this but wanted to get it off my chest. My grandad, my mum's dad (I'm lucky that both are still alive) is in his early 90s and has been living with dementia for the last 6 or 7 years. He 'unfortunately' is in bloody good physical health given he worked in the shipyards all his life, was a mountain climber, skier and semi-professional speed skater (makes my achievements so far look pretty shit!). That means he has been coping well with the physical side condition but recently it has deteriorated so he has been told he has to move from his little sheltered flat in Dundee (roughly £350 a month) to a nursing home. Now, my grandad was a very traditional Scottish man so he basically never spent a penny his whole life, saved everything and managed to buy his first house, with my gran, in cash, in full, because they had kept all their money under their floorboards.

Anyway, with no debt and a few assets he now has to pay pretty much, in full, his costs for being in this nursing home. The costs given to my mum and dad meant they had to look around and were offered  place last week at a place in Dundee. The cost is roughly £1200 A WEEK. I know most of you will know that the cost of Nursing Homes is high and there are little bits that can be shaved off that price but the rough amount now is looking like £800 a week. That will now start to come out of my grandad's savings, and then when that runs out, his house. I just find it horrible that he lived within his means his whole life, was employed every single day since leaving school, never got into trouble, never did anything wrong and now this is what is going to be happening to him as he approaches the end of his life. Between that and the dementia stripping away all of his memories it is a shite, shite situation.

Absolutely right to be outraged. Went through the same process with my dad a few years ago. Fortunately(Or unfortunately, depending on perspective) he was sitting fairly close to the cut off point in terms of cash savings which meant we were able to manage things to an extent and the majority of the costs were met by the local authority. Not that there would have been much to burn through.

As uncomfortable as it will be, I'd look at using whatever cash you can to pay for the things you will get away with paying for now, funeral costs and the like being some of the few areas that they will be unlikely to question you on if they decide to review where his money has gone. We had to do that with my old man to keep the cash he held under the limit they had, as well as making sure he continued the donations he made to a few local clubs and charities. It's shite that you are made to feel that you are doing something wrong, when the alternative is also extremely fucking shite.

[Ross.]

1 minute ago, KnightswoodBear said:

I don't want to be insensitive, but I imagine from what you're saying we're probably on the same page, but we wouldn't let an animal suffer like this.  I find it astonishing that I can't have the choice to be put out of my misery (and by extension, save my family a lot of financial and emotional suffering) if I was to find myself in this scenario.

If you sent me back to the day my dad was diagnosed and gave me a gun, I'd happily have taken the life sentence for my actions.

[mathematics]

Not meaning to be insensitive, as I went through similar with my gran, but this is why we should have assisted suicide. Dementia is the fucking devil.

[mathematics]

10 minutes ago, Ross. said:

If you sent me back to the day my dad was diagnosed and gave me a gun, I'd happily have taken the life sentence for my actions.

My dad has already told me that if he goes the same way as my gran, I'm to "see to him".

WHICH OF COURSE IS DEFINITELY NOT GOING TO HAPPEN, OFFICER.

[pandarilla]

My dad has already told me that if he goes the same way as my gran, I'm to "see to him".
WHICH OF COURSE IS DEFINITELY NOT GOING TO HAPPEN, OFFICER.

I think a lot of similar conversations have taken place.

[stumigoo]

21 minutes ago, KnightswoodBear said:

I don't want to be insensitive, but I imagine from what you're saying we're probably on the same page, but we wouldn't let an animal suffer like this.  I find it astonishing that I can't have the choice to be put out of my misery (and by extension, save my family a lot of financial and emotional suffering) if I was to find myself in this scenario.

 

19 minutes ago, Ross. said:

If you sent me back to the day my dad was diagnosed and gave me a gun, I'd happily have taken the life sentence for my actions.

Neither being insensitive, I am very pro-Euthanasia and my mum and dad would both take that option if it was available. 

[pandarilla]

Do they take everything over a cut-off level?

Would it not be fairer to take a set percentage of total finances?

That would still lead to a solid contribution from the individual, without a complete ransacking of life savings.

[Black Dug]

https://www.weforum.org/agenda/2019/02/the-worlds-watersheds-mapped-in-gorgeous-detail
I know there's a few on here that like a good map. The above link shows the world's rivers and their tributaries - they are really cool.

[Ross.]

5 minutes ago, pandarilla said:

Do they take everything over a cut-off level?

Would it not be fairer to take a set percentage of total finances?

That would still lead to a solid contribution from the individual, without a complete ransacking of life savings.

I think it varies depending on the local authority. The way it was put to me was that if he had over a certain amount in the bank, they would use everything, but below that point they would leave it as it was, which seemed a fairly bizarre methodology. Would need to double check with my brother to be certain, he had legal guardianship so dealt with all that stuff, for the most part.

[Granny Danger]

I’d imagine there is a majority of public support for euthanasia so long as proper protections are put in place.

Any real opposition would come from a minority; mainly the religious fruitcakes who are representative of a small and ever decreasing minority.