Jump to content

Reasons to be Cheerful


Recommended Posts

 
Would you attribute this to a lack of, or an excess of alcohol?


Nah, no alcohol involved I was just very tired and haven’t had a proper night sleep since the wee one arrived so decided to go to the spare room for a night. I do feel a tad guilty about how fresh I feel tbh!
Link to comment
Share on other sites

7 hours ago, The Naitch said:

That unparalleled joy when you turn up for jury duty and your name isn’t called meaning you can go home. Yas!

Nah. Jury duty is the dogs danglies. It’s like a real life Jeremy Kyle show.

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

2 minutes ago, The Naitch said:

Exactly why I don't want to do it. Can't be bothered with all that.

The jury room is quite something. It's amazing how much scheme goblins are experts in all things law. And smarter than Sherlock Homes. It's a great case study on inefficiency and waste, all the same. 

I never did tell the story on here about my hilarious experience of a High Court jury. 

712277.gif?b64lines=IEFDVFVBTExZLCBJVCdTIE5PVCBTTwogTVVDSCBGVU5OWSBBUyBJVCBJUyBMT05HLgog

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Just now, Joey Jo Jo Junior Shabadoo said:

The jury room is quite something. It's amazing how much scheme goblins are experts in all things law. And smarter than Sherlock Homes. It's a great case study on inefficiency and waste, all the same. 

I never did tell the story on here about my hilarious experience of a High Court jury. 

712277.gif?b64lines=IEFDVFVBTExZLCBJVCdTIE5PVCBTTwogTVVDSCBGVU5OWSBBUyBJVCBJUyBMT05HLgog

The joy of not being picked was doubled as it meant no longer having to spend time with the other mutants who were cited to attend today.

The clerk asked if anyone had any reason why they couldn't do the gig. 20 (twenty) stood up which meant waiting for all 20 to explain their cases. Half of them were promptly told to sit down and shut the f**k up.

The judge came out and gave her spiel. At which point another 5 thought of reasons not to be there. Patience was starting to wear thin at this point.

When the 15 were chosen and the indictment was read along with the rest of the usual protocol 3 of them decided they knew the defendant so had to pick three more names out of the giant brandy glass they use. The judge then asked, to make sure, if there was anyone else who thought they couldn't serve. Not a peep.

Soon as the indictment was read again one of them piped up to say they've got reason not to serve. At this point this was me...

5abd50022891a_ScreenShot2018-03-29at21_43_18.png.748b683dbaa36e4248904c8d82212c20.png

...anyway, 2 hours after entering the court room we were finally allowed to leave. Glad I don't have to do that again for a while.

Seems I've derailed the thread.

RTBC? Another four days without work to look forward to and nothing but football, Tennent's and the other half for company. Naw bad.

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I had jury duty once. The guy was facing four counts. It was fairly conclusive that he had done three of them, but there was absolutely no evidence for the fourth one. I was literally the only person in the jury room saying we could not find him guilty of the fourth one because there was no evidence. Everyone else was saying stuff like "we might as well, we've done him for the other three" and "he looks the type". Unbelievable.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

2 minutes ago, Gaz said:

I had jury duty once. The guy was facing four counts. It was fairly conclusive that he had done three of them, but there was absolutely no evidence for the fourth one. I was literally the only person in the jury room saying we could not find him guilty of the fourth one because there was no evidence. Everyone else was saying stuff like "we might as well, we've done him for the other three" and "he looks the type". Unbelievable.

Not unlike mine, but the case without much evidence was much more serious, so they dropped the charges that he was as guilty as sin of. 6 people still voted him guilty which means that if 2 people voted differently the guy would have been put away for half a decade plus. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I bet the folk that voted guilty were fucking raging with the rest of us too because hanging was too good for the c**t.

I was convinced the guy did it, BTW, but the best evidence they had was a procession of Policemen (who had only seen the same CCTV footage we had seen) pointing at the guy and shouting "It was him!" General Melchett style.

It was mental stuff, like the prosecution bringing the forensics guy up and asking if he found any fingerprints? "Yes". "Were any of these the defendants?". "No". 

At one point the prosecution also had a witness who was a random that saw somebody run past his car after the incident.

"Can you see the man that ran past you in the room?".

"No".

"No further questions, your honour".

I was waiting for Jeremy Beadle to appear at some point.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
×
×
  • Create New...