Pub Etiquette

[thepaisleypanda]

24 minutes ago, Hedgecutter said:

Patrons of the Archie Simpsons Wetherspoons in Aberdeen (a layout with a centre aisle leading from entrance up to middle of the bar ) have evidently decided to form a big queue up the aisle and only go to the bar when a server becomes free (think train station ticket desk / Post Office), something that perhaps only began a couple of years ago despite the layout never changing.  This isn't a system that has ever been imposed on them.  Bizarre.

Was in there once but, was sitting on the other side of the partition. (It's a old bank, so, I assume it was where the tellers were.) Anyway, approached the bar from the side rather than head-on, got served straight away, to which a voice behind barked "Excuse me - there is a que!" - Barmaid immediately defuses the situation saying " There is no queing policy in Wetherspoons." - I was dying to wait for her to go back to the bar again so I could repeat!

 

Similar situation in the Spoons in East Kilbride, it's only been open a year or so, but is an old shop / perhaps 2 knocked into one, so the layout is kinda weird, with a stairwell going up the middle. So, I wandered up to the empty bar (bar 1 chap getting served) and ordered a beer - old boy standing about 6 feeet back with a menu in his hand was apparently waiting to be called forward!  A cheap boozer in the West of Scotland?? WTF?

[Sergeant Wilson]

13 hours ago, The_Kincardine said:

Caught on camera

He's good. His act is mainly swearing and hurling sexual insults at passing females. Then he expects money, it probably needs some work, but the raw material is there.

[Hedgecutter]

3 minutes ago, thepaisleypanda said:

Was in there once but, was sitting on the other side of the partition. (It's a old bank, so, I assume it was where the tellers were.) Anyway, approached the bar from the side rather than head-on, got served straight away, to which a voice behind barked "Excuse me - there is a que!" - Barmaid immediately defuses the situation saying " There is no queing policy in Wetherspoons." - I was dying to wait for her to go back to the bar again so I could repeat!

 

Similar situation in the Spoons in East Kilbride, it's only been open a year or so, but is an old shop / perhaps 2 knocked into one, so the layout is kinda weird, with a stairwell going up the middle. So, I wandered up to the empty bar (bar 1 chap getting served) and ordered a beer - old boy standing about 6 feeet back with a menu in his hand was apparently waiting to be called forward!  A cheap boozer in the West of Scotland?? WTF?

Glebe Park's pie stall portakabin used to have two serving windows, one on the front and one on the side.  Opposition fans would form a long queue at the obvious front one and go ballistic i f anybody (quite rightfully) waltzed up to the available second one on the side which was being ignored*.  Strangely, they'd all stay in their queue rather than realising that they could form a second one. 

*well, by that I mean they couldn't see it and never knew it was there, but f*** 'em.  FastTrack pies & soup for the home fans. 

[yoda]

1 hour ago, TheScarf said:

Worst c***s are the ones know fucking know you were before them and then they do a kind of smug look as they get served first.

I briefly worked in Johnny Foxes about 7 years ago and it was pretty easy, even on a Saturday night, to memorise your section of the bar as to which order the customers were to be served.

Bar staff who have to ask 'who's next?' all the time shouldn't be doing that job.

Edit - see when they're pouring a pint and they're looking around, that's them looking to see what order the punters are in.  I certainly used that time to do that anyway.

@yoda amirite here brother?

I hadn't worked in a bar prior to this summer so I've got limited experience to draw upon!

But yeah. Have a look around, and then usually when I'm pouring a pint or taking a card payment I'll tell folk that "You're next, and then you".  On occasions, in the pub I worked in (which will remain nameless ), when I had to leave my "section" of the bar to go help out then I'll ask "Who's next?" but usually you get a gormless looks so I just serve a random person. When it's rammed and folk are just refusing to move away from the bar it's a pain in the arse trying to remember who was first in a mass of people. But most people are fairly understanding if it's heaving 

Good workmates will point out who is next if you've just appeared from doing whatever (changing a keg, bringing out food, etc).

Edited December 11, 2018 by yoda

[Cardinal Richelieu]

22 minutes ago, Hedgecutter said:

Glebe Park's pie stall portakabin used to have two serving windows, one on the front and one on the side.  Opposition fans would form a long queue at the obvious front one and go ballistic i f anybody (quite rightfully) waltzed up to the available second one on the side which was being ignored*.  Strangely, they'd all stay in their queue rather than realising that they could form a second one. 

*well, by that I mean they couldn't see it and never knew it was there, but f*** 'em.  FastTrack pies & soup for the home fans. 

Russian museums operate a similar system ... on approach, you can either go to the left where the sign says "Entrance" .. or go to the right where the same sign is in Russian. Obviously anyone trooping through the English entrance pays top rouble. 

Maybe Brechin should operate a similar policy with 2 signs ... one saying "Pies" and the other "Pehs". 

Edited December 11, 2018 by Cardinal Richelieu

[MEADOWXI]

1 hour ago, Hedgecutter said:

Patrons of the Archie Simpsons Wetherspoons in Aberdeen (a layout with a centre aisle leading from entrance up to middle of the bar ) have evidently decided to form a big queue up the aisle and only go to the bar when a server becomes free (think train station ticket desk / Post Office), something that perhaps only began a couple of years ago despite the layout never changing.  This isn't a system that has ever been imposed on them.  Bizarre.

It is a system that seems almost unique to Wetherspoons all over.

As well as seeing it in the above mentioned Archie Simpsons I have seen it in their premises in Glasgow, Edinburgh and Irvine

Think it something that No-Deal Brexiteer Psycho Tim Martin is putting in the drinks

[Homer Thompson]

I had a few bar jobs as a youngster and theres an easy system for working out who gets served next when its busy

Attractive girls
Mates
Regulars
Genuinely next in line
Anyone waiting patiently at the bar
p***ks who try and give you their order while you're serving someone else
Arseholes who wave money at you
Fucking Aresholes who click their fingers / shout at you

bonus points for anyone with a list.

The best bar job I had, though, was in Sheffield. Big long bar that we worked sections of in teams. Always really busy so there were bouncers everywhere. You started at one end of the section and just served down the line until you got to the end and went back again. Anyone who didnt know what they wanted or, worse, did the old turn round to ask their mates routine just got skipped and you moved on to the next person. Anyone who claimed too much got a nice chat with a bouncer 

[Romeo]

I find a couple of things will get you up the serving pecking order in busy pubs.

 

1. Not being a bellend and indulging in the kind of behaviour already mentioned. Snapping your fingers at bar staff should be an automatic barring/kick in the pie.

 

2. Money talks. If you are getting a few drinks and it comes to say 8.60 or 9.20 give the bar person a tenner and dont't wait for the change. This works well especially if you are in a place for a while and you do it a couple of times. I am aware this will go down badly on P&B but working in a busy pub full of drunken arseholes is a pretty thankless low paying job.

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Hedgecutter]

21 minutes ago, MEADOWXI said:

It is a system that seems almost unique to Wetherspoons all over.

As well as seeing it in the above mentioned Archie Simpsons I have seen it in their premises in Glasgow, Edinburgh and Irvine

Think it something that No-Deal Brexiteer Psycho Tim Martin is putting in the drinks

Quite possibly a reflection of the clientele that an establishment with the cheapest cheap pub food and booze would attract.  

[DA Baracus]

There should be a queuing system in bars similar to what you see in the Post Office, so that you wait in the line (tightly controlled) then only go to the relevant service point when the light and robot voice say so ("Till number 1" etc). This is because too many folk can't be trusted to be sound.

I worked in a bar before (hated it). I just flat out ignored folk who waved money or snapped their fingers. One time I was left alone to cover the entire bar, and the place was absolutely rammed. There was no way to tell who was first so it was just random, which made some folk utterly furious.

[MEADOWXI]

15 minutes ago, Hedgecutter said:

Quite possibly a reflection of the clientele that an establishment with the cheapest cheap pub food and booze would attract.  

Spoons - The Soup Kitchen of Pubs

[Hedgecutter]

44 minutes ago, DA Baracus said:

I worked in a bar before (hated it). I just flat out ignored folk who waved money or snapped their fingers. One time I was left alone to cover the entire bar, and the place was absolutely rammed. There was no way to tell who was first so it was just random, which made some folk utterly furious.

I used to work in a club where the bar was lowered / sunken below the level of the floor and some people would reach over and tap you on the shoulder for attention whilst you were pulling a pint.  Needless to say that in my eyes they became invisible from that point onwards (there were two other bars on different floors that they could, and would, relocate to).   

These would nearly always be the the types that do up the top button of a (probably Fred Perry) shirt with no tie.  If I remember correctly, one guy I snubbed said he'd be waiting for me outside, which would be a great night out for him seeing as we usually left the place through the back door after 4am.

Certainly on the basis of working in bars in the past, the general public are generally morons.  I also used to deal with getting tourists down a ladder and into a boat.  They were also generally morons.  On occasion, I also continue to lead outdoor tours/walks for the public and for that, I am a moron (during the last one some old geezer split his head open when I clearly stressed "DON'T walk over the slippery shortcut", so guess where he went).  

Edited December 11, 2018 by Hedgecutter

[Bert Raccoon]

1 hour ago, Romeo said:

I find a couple of things will get you up the serving pecking order in busy pubs.

 

1. Not being a bellend and indulging in the kind of behaviour already mentioned. Snapping your fingers at bar staff should be an automatic barring/kick in the pie.

 

2. Money talks. If you are getting a few drinks and it comes to say 8.60 or 9.20 give the bar person a tenner and dont't wait for the change. This works well especially if you are in a place for a while and you do it a couple of times. I am aware this will go down badly on P&B but working in a busy pub full of drunken arseholes is a pretty thankless low paying job.

 

 

 

 

 

 

On point two, I normally tell the bar staff to take one for themselves on the first couple of rounds and normally helps get served quicker for the rest of the evening.

[Darren]

3 hours ago, Hedgecutter said:

Patrons of the Archie Simpsons Wetherspoons in Aberdeen (a layout with a centre aisle leading from entrance up to middle of the bar ) have evidently decided to form a big queue up the aisle and only go to the bar when a server becomes free (think train station ticket desk / Post Office), something that perhaps only began a couple of years ago despite the layout never changing.  This isn't a system that has ever been imposed on them.  Bizarre.

That was happening when I lived in Aberdeen from 2009-12.

[Hedgecutter]

33 minutes ago, Bert Raccoon said:

On point two, I normally tell the bar staff to take one for themselves on the first couple of rounds and normally helps get served quicker for the rest of the evening.

Used to love a pint straight after my shift.  Something worth ~£3 definitely gets you brownie points.  Tbh, anything like "keep the 20p change mate" isn't really going to register on the radar, even if some might think that entitles them to FastTrack beers all day long.

5 minutes ago, Darren said:

That was happening when I lived in Aberdeen from 2009-12.

Fair enough.  Thought it was after that, but I definitely remember a time in the noughties when it was nothing but a standard free-for-all and you could sit down for a pint / chat without a steady supply of randoms standing beside your face.  A friend mentioned this to me a couple of months ago, hence why I (semi) remember it here.

[Todd_is_God]

5 hours ago, smpar said:

I’ve come across a few sound c***s recently who have done the “he was first” gesture when the server has gone to serve them first. Can’t wait for Christmas party c***s to completely ignore this beautiful piece of pub etiquette because their need for a bottle of Corona simply can’t wait any longer.

I always do this at a busy bar.

Push in a wee bit, tell the barman the guy next to you was next, and he will generally come back to you for your order when handing over that guy's pint.

Guy next to you thinks you are sound, and you get served quickly.

#winning

[Cardinal Richelieu]

24 minutes ago, Todd_is_God said:

I always do this at a busy bar.

Push in a wee bit, tell the barman the guy next to you was next, and he will generally come back to you for your order when handing over that guy's pint.

Guy next to you thinks you are sound, and you get served quickly.

#winning

I genuinely thought I was the only arsehole that did that. Kudos 

[Miguel Sanchez]

Going to start trawling pubs in Stirling hoping I see magee at an open mic night.

[BillyAnchor]

4 hours ago, Hedgecutter said:

Glebe Park's pie stall portakabin used to have two serving windows, one on the front and one on the side.  Opposition fans would form a long queue at the obvious front one and go ballistic i f anybody (quite rightfully) waltzed up to the available second one on the side which was being ignored*.  Strangely, they'd all stay in their queue rather than realising that they could form a second one. 

*well, by that I mean they couldn't see it and never knew it was there, but f*** 'em.  FastTrack pies & soup for the home fans. 

Shitey service at football pie stands thread for this

[gannonball]

10 minutes ago, Miguel Sanchez said:

Going to start trawling pubs in Stirling hoping I see magee at an open mic night.

I think I have heard him twice. One was a manics cover Iirc and was decent. The other was Streets of New York which I automatically disliked as I hate the song and it goes on till closing time.

As a general rule of thumb, given pub singers arent seen as a high standard, Stirling punches well above its weight for decent (paid) pub singers