19QOS19 Posted August 10, 2019 Share Posted August 10, 2019 This could be Liverpool's year. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kennysmassiveego Posted August 12, 2019 Share Posted August 12, 2019 When I offer to wash your back in the shower , all you have to say is yes or no . Not all this “ who are you and how did you get in here ? nonsense 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robin.Hood Posted August 12, 2019 Share Posted August 12, 2019 When I was a child, my dad used to feed me alphabet soup claiming that I loved it...I didn't really - he was just putting words in my mouth... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buchan30 Posted August 12, 2019 Share Posted August 12, 2019 When I was a child, my dad used to feed me alphabet soup claiming that I loved it... I didn't really - he was just putting words in my mouth... I would have refused to eat it on the basis that my next poo could have spelt trouble. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bishop Briggs Posted August 14, 2019 Share Posted August 14, 2019 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silvio Tattiescone Posted August 15, 2019 Share Posted August 15, 2019 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
microdave Posted August 19, 2019 Share Posted August 19, 2019 Listening to Queen is bad for you due to the high Mercury content! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The DA Posted August 19, 2019 Share Posted August 19, 2019 Any idea what you ARE allowed to joke about these days? https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-49395718 Quote Edinburgh Fringe: Tourette's charity wants apology over award-winning joke 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alta-pete Posted August 19, 2019 Share Posted August 19, 2019 Any idea what you ARE allowed to joke about these days? https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-49395718 Edinburgh Fringe: Tourette's charity wants apology over award-winning joke f**k OFF!! YOUR DOG’S GOT TITS!! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ICTJohnboy Posted August 19, 2019 Share Posted August 19, 2019 2 minutes ago, The DA said: Any idea what you ARE allowed to joke about these days? https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-49395718 Probably one of the worst jokes I've ever heard, but it certainly didn't strike me as offensive. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted August 19, 2019 Share Posted August 19, 2019 6 minutes ago, ICTJohnboy said: Probably one of the worst jokes I've ever heard, but it certainly didn't strike me as offensive. The "Best jokes" are always shite on their own. In context in an hour long show I can see how it might have been hilarious. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ICTJohnboy Posted August 19, 2019 Share Posted August 19, 2019 5 minutes ago, welshbairn said: The "Best jokes" are always shite on their own. In context in an hour long show I can see how it might have been hilarious. That one couldn't have been hilarious in any context. I quite like this one from last year's festival : “The waiter in the restaurant asked me if I had any allergies. I said, 'Yes, I am allergic to penicillin'.” 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted August 19, 2019 Share Posted August 19, 2019 21 minutes ago, The DA said: Any idea what you ARE allowed to joke about these days? https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-49395718 I think we’re allowed to joke about blacks, Pakistanis and the Chinese again. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted August 19, 2019 Share Posted August 19, 2019 10 minutes ago, Melanius Mullarkey said: I think we’re allowed to joke about blacks, Pakistanis and the Chinese again. Only in Ayrshire. -1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
19QOS19 Posted August 19, 2019 Share Posted August 19, 2019 I sincerely hope neither Dave or the comedian apologise for the joke. Ffs a comedian complaining about a joke?! I hope she's outcast by the community.Comedians seem to come under scrutiny more often nowadays by fuckwits who are "offended" by anything. If anything this stupid bitch should be defending the joke. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ICTJohnboy Posted August 19, 2019 Share Posted August 19, 2019 This guy's house had caught fire and he found himself trapped at an upstairs window. He started to shout for help, and eventually some of his neighbours appeared with a blanket which they held outstretched and shouted at him to jump. Unfortunately the guy had never got on that well with his neighbours and didn't really trust them. "I know what you guys are like" he said. "You'll take the blanket away as soon as I jump" "Don't be stupid" shouted the neighbours, "Jump, before it's too late" "Okay", says the guy, "But put the blanket on the ground first, then I'll jump" 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted August 19, 2019 Share Posted August 19, 2019 14 minutes ago, ICTJohnboy said: This guy's house had caught fire and he found himself trapped at an upstairs window. He started to shout for help, and eventually some of his neighbours appeared with a blanket which they held outstretched and shouted at him to jump. Unfortunately the guy had never got on that well with his neighbours and didn't really trust them. "I know what you guys are like" he said. "You'll take the blanket away as soon as I jump" "Don't be stupid" shouted the neighbours, "Jump, before it's too late" "Okay", says the guy, "But put the blanket on the ground first, then I'll jump" 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nkomo-A-Gogo Posted August 19, 2019 Share Posted August 19, 2019 A farmer asked me to help him round up 18 cows. Ok I said, 20 cows. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
19QOS19 Posted August 19, 2019 Share Posted August 19, 2019 This guy's house had caught fire and he found himself trapped at an upstairs window. He started to shout for help, and eventually some of his neighbours appeared with a blanket which they held outstretched and shouted at him to jump. Unfortunately the guy had never got on that well with his neighbours and didn't really trust them. "I know what you guys are like" he said. "You'll take the blanket away as soon as I jump" "Don't be stupid" shouted the neighbours, "Jump, before it's too late" "Okay", says the guy, "But put the blanket on the ground first, then I'll jump"And still the abuse of Grimbo continues. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forest_Fifer Posted August 19, 2019 Share Posted August 19, 2019 A farmer asked me to help him round up 18 cows. Ok I said, 20 cows.Yeah I read the rest of the nominated jokes too... 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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