The Mantis Posted November 5, 2018 Share Posted November 5, 2018 On 30/10/2018 at 23:47, tamthebam said: happy hallowe'en Reminds me of one I heard many MOONS ago. Ugly nurse to attractive nurse "did you see the man in bed 12 has got Ludo tattooed on his cock?" Attractive nurse "That's not Ludo, it's Llandudno". 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GordonD Posted November 6, 2018 Share Posted November 6, 2018 throbber's cock is big enough to have the name of that Welsh railway station tattooed on it. Rhyl 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Homer Thompson Posted November 6, 2018 Share Posted November 6, 2018 On 02/11/2018 at 13:28, Mr Pikey said: My Grandparents were named Pearl and Dean but we just called them Grandma and Grandpapa.papa , papa, pa, papa, pa Good joke, but blatantly stolen from Milton Jones 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted November 6, 2018 Share Posted November 6, 2018 18 hours ago, Dee Man said: The beggar replied, "There appears to be no punchline." 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GordonD Posted November 6, 2018 Share Posted November 6, 2018 There are three tins of polish on the shelf in the shoe shop. Which one is a Musketeer? The Dark Tan yin. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Mantis Posted November 6, 2018 Share Posted November 6, 2018 3 hours ago, Melanius Mullarkey said: Ah, the memories. I pulled a few Celtic players down in the box that day. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
port-ton Posted November 7, 2018 Share Posted November 7, 2018 Good joke, but blatantly stolen from Milton Jones My mind has just been blown that some people making up these jokes on their own in this thread.Monsters. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GordonD Posted November 10, 2018 Share Posted November 10, 2018 I hear there's a new Irish dancing show called ‘Streamdance’. It’s similar to ‘Riverdance’, but it is only a tributary act. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Nightfly Posted November 10, 2018 Share Posted November 10, 2018 A bank robber walks up to one of his hostages and asks, "Did you see my face?"The hostage replies, "Yes."The robber takes aim and shoots the man in the head.He turns to the next man. "And did you see my face?""No, but my wife caught a glimpse!" 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post LincolnHearts Posted November 12, 2018 Popular Post Share Posted November 12, 2018 A woman was in a coma. She had been in it for months. Nurses were in her room giving her a bed bath. One of them was washing her private area and noticed that there was a slight response on the monitor whenever she touched her there. They tried it again and sure enough, there was definite movement. They went to her husband and explained what happened, telling him, 'As crazy as this sounds, maybe a little 'Oral sex' will do the trick and bring her out of the coma.' The husband was sceptical, but they assured him that they would close the curtains for privacy. The husband finally agreed and went into his wife's room. After a few minutes the woman's monitor flat-lined, no pulse, no heart rate. The nurses run back into the room. "What happened!?" they cried. The husband said, 'I'm not sure, I think she choked.' 21 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Egg Shen Posted November 12, 2018 Share Posted November 12, 2018 Jeremy beadle has got a massive cock But, on the other hand... 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Pikey Posted November 12, 2018 Share Posted November 12, 2018 What time did Michael Jackson go to bed? When the big hand touched the wee hand. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted November 12, 2018 Share Posted November 12, 2018 What's made of brass and sounds like Tom Jones? Spoiler Trombones. 13 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
accies1874 Posted November 12, 2018 Share Posted November 12, 2018 What kind of bees make milk?Boo-bees. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaz Posted November 16, 2018 Share Posted November 16, 2018 How does a Haiwaiin baritone laugh? A low ha 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LeeVanTeeth Posted November 16, 2018 Share Posted November 16, 2018 At a Glasgow Pub Quiz, the final question to win £1000 pounds is : Take That's first Album had a four word title, the first two words were "Take That" what were the second two. After a lengthy silence a wee weedgie stands up and says.." Wiz it... Ya b*****d?" 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pleslie99 Posted November 16, 2018 Share Posted November 16, 2018 What's the difference between jam and marmalade?You can't marmalade your cock up a bird's arse 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted November 16, 2018 Share Posted November 16, 2018 49 minutes ago, pleslie99 said: What's the difference between jam and marmalade? You can't marmalade your cock up a bird's arse Of course you can (but I would recommend shredless) 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tamthebam Posted November 16, 2018 Share Posted November 16, 2018 35 minutes ago, Melanius Mullarkey said: Of course you can (but I would recommend shredless) Keiller? Well, it might... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IainMorton Posted November 18, 2018 Share Posted November 18, 2018 How do you invite a dinosaur to lunch? Tea, Rex? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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