Infuriating Things Your Partner Does

[ah-dee]

The more these fucking weasels clean up after them the more they're expected to do it. Tell the fucking minky bitches to tidy the f**k up or f**k the f**k off.

the infuriating thing is its not minky shite mine leaves about the pkavmce its keys and handbags etc.

oh and shes always "just away to do that"

[Todd_is_God]

On 06/12/2018 at 20:59, Gaz FFC said:

Safe to assume that women are happy to live like fucking tramps 

ETA mine actually has a go at me to everyone because I keep tidying her stuff.

When we have company round and I put things away she will shout "see!!!! look at him putting all my stuff away"

Since when was tidying seen as the crime here?

Exactly the same here. Drives me fucking mental.

Will hang about 5 coats on the back of a chair then moan she can't find things. Put them back then!

[Jacksgranda]

9 minutes ago, Todd_is_God said:

Exactly the same here. Drives me fucking mental.

Will hang about 5 coats on the back of a chair then moan she can't find things. Put them back then!

Did you tell her to look on the back of the chair?

[Jumbo Muir]

Yep, we also called it  a bunker.  I thought it was something to do where the coalman would store the coal back in the good old days. 

Leaving something on a kitchen worktop is leaving it on the side and a bunker is an outside box/container for coal.

[sugna]

7 hours ago, Jacksgranda said:

Just been shown another ornament - we need another ornament like I need another hole in my behind - actually it's a Christmas ornament, great! - and I told her "Very nice". She's sitting there all pleased "as it lights up" and I've told her it's very nice. Not sure if it's a "real" bargain as it cost £15.00 - hard to judge bargains for plastic Christmas decorations* - but she's happy and I've got peace to continue on the laptop without having created an "atmosphere".

F*** me, she's bought two of them!

* They "look like metal" and are "quite heavy", so I've surmised they are a bargain.

Further edit: I must say they don't look too bad, sitting on the mantelpiece all aglow.

That's absolutely uncanny. Are you me? 

 

[welshbairn]

2 minutes ago, sugna said:

That's absolutely uncanny. Are you me? 

 

Have you not cottoned on yet? We're all me.

[Jacksgranda]

20 minutes ago, sugna said:

That's absolutely uncanny. Are you me? 

 

Our two aren't like that but would be about that size. No photos available as my phone is a dinosaur one. Ours are also snow globes.

[Jacksgranda]

13 minutes ago, G_Man1985 said:

39 minutes ago, Jacksgranda said:

Our two aren't like that but would be about that size. No photos available as my phone is a dinosaur one. Ours are also snow globes.

Dinosaurs didnae hey phones

 

[MONKMAN]

My house was very minimalist for years, when I lived on my own. Everything in it was functional and had a purpose, although she said it resembled a show-home that hadn’t been lived in. I don’t see any issue with that, as it suited me for 5 or so years I lived on my own.

I work away and every time I come back there’s new “stuff” in the house; Plants, lamps, candles, vases...

Her response is that I lived in a “house” and now it’s becoming a “home”.

What the actual f**k goes on in their heads?

[Miguel Sanchez]

1 hour ago, MONKMAN said:

My house was very minimalist for years, when I lived on my own. Everything in it was functional and had a purpose, although she said it resembled a show-home that hadn’t been lived in. I don’t see any issue with that, as it suited me for 5 or so years I lived on my own.

I work away and every time I come back there’s new “stuff” in the house; Plants, lamps, candles, vases...

Her response is that I lived in a “house” and now it’s becoming a “home”.

What the actual f**k goes on in their heads?
 

Guarantee if you decided to start putting "stuff" about she'd say it was shite and get rid of it. Try it. 

Edited December 8, 2018 by Miguel Sanchez

[ah-dee]

my partner decided to have a "cleaning spree" today. she cant comprehend that this spree was her battering around the house for 5 hours hoovering and moving her assorted shite from drawer to drawer. there is no new space, my boxers have moved drawer but the carpets are cleaner.

[hk blues]

10 hours ago, Jumbo Muir said:

Leaving something on a kitchen worktop is leaving it on the side and a bunker is an outside box/container for coal.

Yes - but there were some outside bunkers which had some kind of opening at the back to allow people to get coal without having to go outside.  So I believe anyway.  

[Bairnardo]

Like most households, we need to have the odd clearout in order to get rid of old shite and clutter. The key with these is to be ruthless. Just bin stuff you dont need or use.

Her maw had such a clearout recently and presented various absolute shite to Mrs B, who proclaimed "Aye il take it I can probably find somewhere for it".

Naw. Get it tae f**k.

[Estragon]

On Saturday, December 08, 2018 at 00:29, The_Kincardine said:

Back on topic, my son had his interview with Cambridge yesterday....

Well I'll be honest Kincardine. This, I was not expecting...

That's amazing, when does he hear? 

[Jacksgranda]

12 hours ago, MONKMAN said:

My house was very minimalist for years, when I lived on my own. Everything in it was functional and had a purpose, although she said it resembled a show-home that hadn’t been lived in. I don’t see any issue with that, as it suited me for 5 or so years I lived on my own.

I work away and every time I come back there’s new “stuff” in the house; Plants, lamps, candles, vases...

Her response is that I lived in a “house” and now it’s becoming a “home”.

What the actual f**k goes on in their heads?
 

So was mine - women are different. I don't really mind the house getting a make over, so to speak, but it does tend to get out of hand, there seems to be no compromise between a show house and the antiques road show.

[Jumbo Muir]

Yes - but there were some outside bunkers which had some kind of opening at the back to allow people to get coal without having to go outside.  So I believe anyway.  

We had to go out to bring our coal in. Wee hand shovel left in the bunker, which was a huge concrete box with a wooden lid, was used to fill the coal pail.
The coalman, the milkman, the insurance man, the Alpine lorry. All gone.

[Jumbo Muir]

She uses the stairs as some kind of intermediary storage area for all the shite shopping bags of clothes etc she drags in almost daily. Her excuse is to leave them on the stairs to remind her to take them up with her later. She never does and the stairs become more and more hazardous to use. FFS.

[philpy]

Same here. A constant reminder that the stairs are a main thoroughfare of escaping a fire doesn't seem to be enough.

[Jacksgranda]

9 minutes ago, philpy said:

Same here. A constant reminder that the stairs are a main thoroughfare of escaping a fire doesn't seem to be enough.

Set her bags on fire when she's upstairs - might get the message across.

[The_Kincardine]

7 hours ago, Estragon said:

Well I'll be honest Kincardine. This, I was not expecting...

That's amazing, when does he hear? 

Well he does go to a boys' grammar which is a bit of an academic hothouse so a few of his peers are also Oxbridge candidates.  Clearly, though, he has his maw's brain.  He's had an offer from Durham which ranks ahead of Cambridge in his subject (English) but is surrounded by folk with rickets, whippets and pneumoconiosis.  He's also had an offer from UCL which he quite fancies but student accomodation is shite and pricey.  Plus he'd be too close to his maw who is a bit of a micro-manager.

Outcome at the end of Jan.

5 hours ago, Jumbo Muir said:

We had to go out to bring our coal in. Wee hand shovel left in the bunker, which was a huge concrete box with a wooden lid, was used to fill the coal pail.
The coalman, the milkman, the insurance man, the Alpine lorry. All gone.

I only stopped milk deliveries recently when my eldest went to Uni.  It was an excellent service and I could go online and order, say, OJ, bread and bog roll all of which would be delivered at about 07.00 the next morning.  It's also not unusual to have coal or, more commonly, logs delivered.

The Alpine lorry?  Late but not lamented.  Their ginger was shite.