itzdrk Posted September 9, 2017 Share Posted September 9, 2017 13 hours ago, Dindeleux said: I'm not sure if I told the tomato sauce story on this thread yet so here goes. Drink had been partaken prior to these events. Roughly 2006 me and my mate were coming back from seeing rapper The Game at Carling Academy. We caught the last train back from central heading to Ayr. On the way there though we were getting quite hungry so we nipped into the Blue Lagoon under Central (across from the front door of the Arches) and got some food for the train. Most people in the city centre are used to paying for the wee sachets of tomato sauce however if you are from any other part of Scotland you expect your sauce to come as part of the price. We had a bit of light hearted banter with the guy about needing 15 sachets (or whatever) and they were like 10p each. The guy behind the counter eventually said we should just buy a glass bottle of tomato sauce as it would be cheaper from the wee shelf next to the till (I walked past this chippy yesterday for the first time in a while and remembered the story hence why I am telling it now - they still have the sauces for sale on the shelf and I had a wee chuckle to myself yesterday at the thought of the story). We took the jar and got on the train. Kilwinning is about 25 mins from Glasgow and we ate our individual orders from the chippy and had our helpings of the sauce as required. You are never going to use a full bottle of the stuff on two suppers so we had some left. We noticed a businessman type guy sitting (or I should say sleeping) across from us. He had a can of irn bru so we thought what would be funnier than putting some of the sauce in the can for him to wake up to. Can was stolen and we put some in then put it back down and waited, giggling away as you do, for the guy to wake up. We tried a few shouts and stuff to wake him up but he never did. Well not never as the guy didn't die but he didn't wake up before Kilwinning. So, as we had missed the laugh we wanted to him we just covered the guys suit, trousers and some on his hair in tomato sauce, exited the train and went down to the window he was sleeping against and started banging it. He woke up just as the train was departing and the laugh we had going home imagining him waking up, being absolutely fucking livid, cleaning himself up and then (probably) starting to relax and sitting back to take a sip out of his tomato sauce filled can of irn bru will live with me forever. We were the very definition of c***s on a train. for f**k sake 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stellaboz Posted September 9, 2017 Share Posted September 9, 2017 Dindeleux is a fucking hero. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted September 9, 2017 Share Posted September 9, 2017 13 hours ago, Dindeleux said: Hope you don't think any less of me Welshbairn. That would devastate me. We could never think less of you. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GordonD Posted September 9, 2017 Share Posted September 9, 2017 14 hours ago, welshbairn said: Worse than 8mile kicking over a homeless girl's cider imo. Still giggling about it too by the tone of it. Though still a step up from stealing other people's food in a hostel. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trainspotter Posted September 9, 2017 Share Posted September 9, 2017 12 hours ago, HTG said: On the train up from Preston to Haymarket last night and 2 utterly smashed c***s get on at Carlisle. They decanted at Lockerbie and the train breathed out. Says a lot about Lockerbie when Carlisle is seen as an option for a day out. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dindeleux Posted September 9, 2017 Share Posted September 9, 2017 If someone did it to me I would be absolutely furious of course but at 18 it seemed funny. I'm sure you all did things at 18 that you found funny that you would never do now.If you weren't up to any similar level of scummy behaviour at least some time during your life then you've probably had quite a boring time. Feel sorry for you to be honest. -1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MONKMAN Posted September 9, 2017 Share Posted September 9, 2017 If you weren't up to any similar level of scummy behaviour at least some time during your life then you've probably had quite a boring time. Feel sorry for you to be honest. I think that last sentence highlights how tragic your life must be. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jamaldo Posted September 9, 2017 Share Posted September 9, 2017 Has Dindeleux ever posted a story on here that hasn't completely backfired on him? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jamaldo Posted September 9, 2017 Share Posted September 9, 2017 "Dindys". 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dindeleux Posted September 9, 2017 Share Posted September 9, 2017 Think I'll just step away from this now as I just realised I'm displaying the old "not bothered what you think" by then attempting to justify and push back to those who make comments which is never a great look.Just hope you never fall asleep near me on a train. -1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pleslie99 Posted September 9, 2017 Share Posted September 9, 2017 I fell asleep drunk on a train once after a night out. Woke up with some young ruffians banging on the window trying to get my attention. Realised I must've accidentally fallen into some young mans bottle of ketchup he had bought to enjoy his dinner with, and spilt it all over my suit. Decided I'd get the wife to clean it later, opened a new can of irn bru as the last one had been sitting a while and I don't like drinking flat juice. Fell back asleep and got off at my stop. Never did find out what those young lads wanted me for, maybe one day I'll find out 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WeAreElgin Posted September 9, 2017 Share Posted September 9, 2017 I fell asleep drunk on a train once after a night out. Woke up with some young ruffians banging on the window trying to get my attention. Realised I must've accidentally fallen into some young mans bottle of ketchup he had bought to enjoy his dinner with, and spilt it all over my suit. Decided I'd get the wife to clean it later, opened a new can of irn bru as the last one had been sitting a while and I don't like drinking flat juice. Fell back asleep and got off at my stop. Never did find out what those young lads wanted me for, maybe one day I'll find out They were going to shag you up the arse, with a jar of Henry Heinz's finest providing the lubrication. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DA Baracus Posted September 9, 2017 Share Posted September 9, 2017 On the train home and some dreadful cringey patter from a load of Sevco and Celtic fans. To think I actually moved to this carriage because the one I was in originally had some scum Sevcoites hanging up a union jack by the window (using the rack above to tie it) 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jimmy boo Posted September 9, 2017 Share Posted September 9, 2017 Train form Paisley to Ayr and initially tempted to have a go at c***s with bags on seats and c***s having a a domestic argument on her phone but then thought about what a fantastic day I've had so will happily stand and then sit for last wee bit from Kilwinning 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bert Raccoon Posted September 9, 2017 Share Posted September 9, 2017 On 08/09/2017 at 19:21, Dindeleux said: I'm not sure if I told the tomato sauce story on this thread yet so here goes. Drink had been partaken prior to these events. Roughly 2006 me and my mate were coming back from seeing rapper The Game at Carling Academy. We caught the last train back from central heading to Ayr. On the way there though we were getting quite hungry so we nipped into the Blue Lagoon under Central (across from the front door of the Arches) and got some food for the train. Most people in the city centre are used to paying for the wee sachets of tomato sauce however if you are from any other part of Scotland you expect your sauce to come as part of the price. We had a bit of light hearted banter with the guy about needing 15 sachets (or whatever) and they were like 10p each. The guy behind the counter eventually said we should just buy a glass bottle of tomato sauce as it would be cheaper from the wee shelf next to the till (I walked past this chippy yesterday for the first time in a while and remembered the story hence why I am telling it now - they still have the sauces for sale on the shelf and I had a wee chuckle to myself yesterday at the thought of the story). We took the jar and got on the train. Kilwinning is about 25 mins from Glasgow and we ate our individual orders from the chippy and had our helpings of the sauce as required. You are never going to use a full bottle of the stuff on two suppers so we had some left. We noticed a businessman type guy sitting (or I should say sleeping) across from us. He had a can of irn bru so we thought what would be funnier than putting some of the sauce in the can for him to wake up to. Can was stolen and we put some in then put it back down and waited, giggling away as you do, for the guy to wake up. We tried a few shouts and stuff to wake him up but he never did. Well not never as the guy didn't die but he didn't wake up before Kilwinning. So, as we had missed the laugh we wanted to him we just covered the guys suit, trousers and some on his hair in tomato sauce, exited the train and went down to the window he was sleeping against and started banging it. He woke up just as the train was departing and the laugh we had going home imagining him waking up, being absolutely fucking livid, cleaning himself up and then (probably) starting to relax and sitting back to take a sip out of his tomato sauce filled can of irn bru will live with me forever. We were the very definition of c***s on a train. You deserve to be glassed. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whiskychimp Posted September 13, 2017 Share Posted September 13, 2017 Was on the train home from work. Its full but not rammed. There's a woman leaning against the empty luggage rack. Some guy in his late 50's asks her to move because he wants to sit in the rack. After checking that was what he wanted, she moved and stood in the middle of the aisle. Am I wrong in thinking the correct response is "no, I'm occupying this spot and its not a seat" 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted September 13, 2017 Share Posted September 13, 2017 Was on the train home from work. Its full but not rammed. There's a woman leaning against the empty luggage rack. Some guy in his late 50's asks her to move because he wants to sit in the rack. After checking that was what he wanted, she moved and stood in the middle of the aisle. Am I wrong in thinking the correct response is "no, I'm occupying this spot and its not a seat" It depends how knackered he was. If he wasn't at death's door she should have told him to gtf. P.S. What's the equivalent of a kick in the pie for a male? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
supermik Posted September 14, 2017 Share Posted September 14, 2017 A kick in the sausage roll? 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whiskychimp Posted September 14, 2017 Share Posted September 14, 2017 5 hours ago, welshbairn said: It depends how knackered he was. If he wasn't at death's door she should have told him to gtf. P.S. What's the equivalent of a kick in the pie for a male? Yeah. He was fit enough to loup up onto the luggage rack. He should have been told to do one. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sonsrock Posted September 14, 2017 Share Posted September 14, 2017 I'm on the London Kings Cross train headed for York, due in York at 1028 for a meeting at 1100We've lost power and have been sitting outside Motherwell for 20 odd minutes and just been told we're waiting for the oil coolers to cool down and it'll take another 10 minutes or soLooking like I'll be a c**t getting off a train at Motherwell 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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