Work colleagues

[tamthebam]

39 minutes ago, Busta Nut said:

sucking air into yer arse is hard

Just watch Jackie Baillie's interview with Guru-Murthy on C4 news, that might help you...

[thistledo]

On 21/03/2021 at 17:05, Thistle_do_nicely said:

oh oh oh this is one of these really weird things that i read about recently going down the lockdown rabbit hole (and no, im not speaking from experience, thankfully...)

If you put substances into your arse it gets absorbed into the membranes there BUT unlike anything consumed more ordinarily through your mouth, it doesnt pass through your liver to get filtered. you can put a small quantity of alcoholic spirits (even low % beer in sufficient quantities) and while it can get you completely steaming very rapidly on just a small amount, it runs a serious risk of hospitalisation if you f**k it up

I think that's the whole point behind it, it bypasses your liver basically but still quickly gets into your system/bloodstream.

idk about the efficacy of snorting things tbh but its never been something I'd be all that keen on doing (surely ends up into your lungs at least a little bit too?) was it Daniella Westbrook that melted her nose bridge and had to get surgery off the ching?

 

I've definitely found myself off down a rabbit whole googling random shite in lockdown. I guess it's a time to maybe learn things I've always kind of wondered about. 

[Empty It]

sucking air into yer arse is hard

Defeatist

[TheScarf]

Just received an email from the CE of the company I work for talking about 'Reflecting on 12 months of Covid restrictions' and it can only be described as - 

[sparky88]

14 minutes ago, TheScarf said:

Just received an email from the CE of the company I work for talking about 'Reflecting on 12 months of Covid restrictions' and it can only be described as - 

Why did you read it? That stuff gets deleted straight away.

[TheScarf]

20 minutes ago, sparky88 said:

Why did you read it? That stuff gets deleted straight away.

I read the first paragraph then it was filed safety in the deleted Items.

[Cardinal Richelieu]

From the Viz Profanisaurus. 

• The Magnificent Seven - the somewhat unlikely scenario where a gentleman ejaculates into every orifice of a lady
• The Magnificent Six - as above, except performed on Daniella Westbrook

[weirdcal]

Why did you read it? That stuff gets deleted straight away.

I pied mine as well and then someone actually read it and we are getting the Thursday off as well going into Easter weekend.
Would have logged on like a muppet had they not told us

[Sergeant Wilson]

In the public sector we have Permanent Secretaries demonstrating their just like us, working from home and that Tarquin has just knocked the lava lamp over or that Julianna has spilled ink from her fountain pen.

 

Edited March 24, 2021 by Sergeant Wilson

[NotThePars]

https://www.theguardian.com/business/2021/mar/26/teleperformance-call-centre-staff-monitored-via-webcam-home-working-infractions

 

Ah, that's encouraging.

[Honest_Man#1]

4 minutes ago, NotThePars said:

https://www.theguardian.com/business/2021/mar/26/teleperformance-call-centre-staff-monitored-via-webcam-home-working-infractions

 

Ah, that's encouraging.

That sort of shit is fucking mental. I feel sorry for anyone that needs the job badly enough to stay in that sort of situation.

[parsforlife]

41 minutes ago, NotThePars said:

https://www.theguardian.com/business/2021/mar/26/teleperformance-call-centre-staff-monitored-via-webcam-home-working-infractions

 

Ah, that's encouraging.

1.  f**k that shit

2.  Does the break app have a w**k break option?

Edited March 26, 2021 by parsforlife

[Thistle_do_nicely]

i mind years ago getting as far as the training for a similar job and the alarm bells were ringing after the 2nd/3rd day of training; things like finding out you got 8 minutes throughout the entire day for your "comfort breaks" which basically meant you were expected to log your piss breaks, working out to about 1 minute for every hour of your shift, and one of the managers bigging up the exciting possibility of us getting to take on additional roles and responsibilities within the team (i.e. a kind of trainer/mentor role down the line for other new starts, or a chaplain type figure... for absolutely £0 extra pay, in essence it was a workplace ponzi scheme where the managers would fob off some of their duties onto the rest of the team)

have avoided even applying for contact centre stuff ever since tbh, that level of micromanaging would have me smashing my face off the desk over and over again

Edited March 26, 2021 by Thistle_do_nicely

[Bonksy+HisChristianParade]

34 minutes ago, Thistle_do_nicely said:

i mind years ago getting as far as the training for a similar job and the alarm bells were ringing after the 2nd/3rd day of training; things like finding out you got 8 minutes throughout the entire day for your "comfort breaks" which basically meant you were expected to log your piss breaks, working out to about 1 minute for every hour of your shift, and one of the managers bigging up the exciting possibility of us getting to take on additional roles and responsibilities within the team (i.e. a kind of trainer/mentor role down the line for other new starts, or a chaplain type figure... for absolutely £0 extra pay, in essence it was a workplace ponzi scheme where the managers would fob off some of their duties onto the rest of the team)

have avoided even applying for contact centre stuff ever since tbh, that level of micromanaging would have me smashing my face off the desk over and over again

I worked in a call centre for a bit and it was exactly as you describe. I remember getting offered to be a ‘floor walker’ for zero extra pay and just told them to ram it. Thankfully knew I was only going to be there for a few months. Every single aspect is timed and monitored.

I remember being naive at the start and if my shift finished at say 5pm and I finished a call at 4.55pm, I would always take another one. The next call could be around 20 minutes to half an hour long and you were just expected to do it for no extra recognition. f**k that. I then used to just time calls so they would finish right at the end of my shift. Mainly by putting people on hold for spurious reasons for a few minutes to waste some time. Terrible job.

[Hillonearth]

1 hour ago, NotThePars said:

https://www.theguardian.com/business/2021/mar/26/teleperformance-call-centre-staff-monitored-via-webcam-home-working-infractions

 

Ah, that's encouraging.

That's nuts - I've never seen what companies think they actually gain from aggressive micromanagement like that.

Must admit, I had the one run-in early on in WFH with a boss who skyped me one morning when I was in the bog. Rung him back:

"Oh, you weren't available when I phoned you earlier..."

"Earlier - you mean like thirty seconds ago? I was taking a pish and I'm normally away from my desk for that when I'm in the office too..."

[BFTD]

On 24/03/2021 at 12:06, TheScarf said:

Just received an email from the CE of the company I work for talking about 'Reflecting on 12 months of Covid restrictions' and it can only be described as - 

We were getting one a week before this shit even started. Coronavirus has just been a nice backdrop to put on the usual self-aggrandising garbage that shows how much they really care. Not enough to do something about paying the lowest wages in the industry, but they really care, in a completely indefinable way that gives the CEO something to spend an afternoon filling time with.

Depressing that this fuckwit gets paid more than everyone in our building put together.

[Honest_Man#1]

1 hour ago, Hillonearth said:

That's nuts - I've never seen what companies think they actually gain from aggressive micromanagement like that.

Must admit, I had the one run-in early on in WFH with a boss who skyped me one morning when I was in the bog. Rung him back:

"Oh, you weren't available when I phoned you earlier..."

"Earlier - you mean like thirty seconds ago? I was taking a pish and I'm normally away from my desk for that when I'm in the office too..."

There’s someone at my work who is like this. Used to ring people at 8.01 to make sure they were in the office and not a minute later. Rang me up at one point early doors of WFH, and I left it a few hours and called him back. First thing he says is “I called 2 hours ago and it rang out...” and then an awkward silence as he expects me to explain what I’ve been doing for the past couple of hours. When I said “Yes I’m aware, and what do you want?” I could almost hear the blood vessels exploding in his eyeballs through the phone.

[Hillonearth]

19 minutes ago, Honest_Man#1 said:

There’s someone at my work who is like this. Used to ring people at 8.01 to make sure they were in the office and not a minute later. Rang me up at one point early doors of WFH, and I left it a few hours and called him back. First thing he says is “I called 2 hours ago and it rang out...” and then an awkward silence as he expects me to explain what I’ve been doing for the past couple of hours. When I said “Yes I’m aware, and what do you want?” I could almost hear the blood vessels exploding in his eyeballs through the phone.

It's a real minority, but there are some manager types that haven't made the jump to this being an equally valid way of working...I had one onto to me a while back that was quite happy his staff were logging in earlier than normal on account of not having a commute but was also expecting the whole section to work normal office hours, and was consequently unfeasibly fucked off at the fact that as a result they were all making flexi hand over fist.

Not sure what he was wanting...I'm guessing either folk sitting around for an hour or more in the morning pretending they were travelling in to work, or having them stop claiming the hours after the standard day and work on regardless...either way he was obviously onto plums.

[parsforlife]

1 hour ago, Honest_Man#1 said:

There’s someone at my work who is like this. Used to ring people at 8.01 to make sure they were in the office and not a minute later. Rang me up at one point early doors of WFH, and I left it a few hours and called him back. First thing he says is “I called 2 hours ago and it rang out...” and then an awkward silence as he expects me to explain what I’ve been doing for the past couple of hours. When I said “Yes I’m aware, and what do you want?” I could almost hear the blood vessels exploding in his eyeballs through the phone.

Must admit I do enjoy ‘ you called me earlier,  how can I help?’   The hesitation before replying is funny as f**k. They are expecting excuses and apologies about missing their call  cos they are all so very important.   Refusing to stroke their ego and being open about how answering their nonsense call isn’t a priority puts them right on the back foot.    

There’s quite a few managers who completely forget they are just another cog in the wheel who can be replaced very easily,  the big man attitude is pathetic.

Edited March 27, 2021 by parsforlife

[superbigal]

i mind years ago getting as far as the training for a similar job and the alarm bells were ringing after the 2nd/3rd day of training; things like finding out you got 8 minutes throughout the entire day for your "comfort breaks" which basically meant you were expected to log your piss breaks, working out to about 1 minute for every hour of your shift, and one of the managers bigging up the exciting possibility of us getting to take on additional roles and responsibilities within the team (i.e. a kind of trainer/mentor role down the line for other new starts, or a chaplain type figure... for absolutely £0 extra pay, in essence it was a workplace ponzi scheme where the managers would fob off some of their duties onto the rest of the team)
have avoided even applying for contact centre stuff ever since tbh, that level of micromanaging would have me smashing my face off the desk over and over again

Instead of that you c***s should maybe occasionally answer a phone, and when you do not read of a fucking script.
Oh and stop the fake Indian accent.