scottsdad Posted February 25, 2022 Share Posted February 25, 2022 1 minute ago, oaksoft said: It may not have been constipation. I can think of one thing even more horrific than that. Nah, this was before iPads and wi-fi. No way he was watching Falkirk TV whilst sitting on the pan. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted February 25, 2022 Share Posted February 25, 2022 1 hour ago, TheScarf said: On a similar note to Chris' story about seeing another man shitting, the more common hearing a colleague (who you saw go in the cubical) having violent diarrhea. You can never look a man in the eye again without always thinking 'I've heard you having a terrible shite'. Went away for a work conference once - everyone got utterly blitzed the night before, including myself, and there were some rough, rough faces around the table in the conference room the next day. Before lunch, I was suddenly compelled to head to the toilets as a matter of urgency, only to meet my then-boss on the way in to the gents. With a look of deep shame, he warned me that he was about to explode, and that he'd appreciate some privacy - sadly, I was in the same boat, so we headed in and discovered only two cubicles next to each other. We'd got on alright until then, but from there on out I don't think we ever made eye contact, and every conversation took place over the phone or by email. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottsdad Posted February 25, 2022 Share Posted February 25, 2022 2 minutes ago, BFTD said: Went away for a work conference once - everyone got utterly blitzed the night before, including myself, and there were some rough, rough faces around the table in the conference room the next day. Before lunch, I was suddenly compelled to head to the toilets as a matter of urgency, only to meet my then-boss on the way in to the gents. With a look of deep shame, he warned me that he was about to explode, and that he'd appreciate some privacy - sadly, I was in the same boat, so we headed in and discovered only two cubicles next to each other. We'd got on alright until then, but from there on out I don't think we ever made eye contact, and every conversation took place over the phone or by email. My old boss and I went to a meeting in Edinburgh. We were there and they plied us with coffees. We were getting ready to leave and both decided to head to the bog before departing. The layout of the toilet was just weird. There were 2 urinals but they backed on to a cubicle. My boss went in to urinal 1, I went to urinal 2. The layout of the room meant that I had to leave/get out of the way to allow my boss to get out. He was trapped on all 4 sides (urinal, wall, cubicle and me). Something strange happened to me. Suddenly my bladder went on one of its "endless pish" runs. My boss finished but had to stand there, waiting patiently, whilst I produced a stream that would have put Seabiscuit to shame. Every second was like an hour, just producing and producing. Back on the subject of shites, though... 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cb_diamond Posted February 25, 2022 Share Posted February 25, 2022 (edited) 44 minutes ago, scottsdad said: My old boss and I went to a meeting in Edinburgh. We were there and they plied us with coffees. We were getting ready to leave and both decided to head to the bog before departing. The layout of the toilet was just weird. There were 2 urinals but they backed on to a cubicle. My boss went in to urinal 1, I went to urinal 2. The layout of the room meant that I had to leave/get out of the way to allow my boss to get out. He was trapped on all 4 sides (urinal, wall, cubicle and me). Something strange happened to me. Suddenly my bladder went on one of its "endless pish" runs. My boss finished but had to stand there, waiting patiently, whilst I produced a stream that would have put Seabiscuit to shame. Every second was like an hour, just producing and producing. Back on the subject of shites, though... The classic Strathclyde Uni library level 5 bogs graffiti there! Edited February 25, 2022 by cb_diamond 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Don Diego De la Vega Posted February 28, 2022 Share Posted February 28, 2022 I work in the engine room of a ship and there is one toilet shared by us, there is one, or more, manky b*****d that has a bad habit of missing the toilet when they are pissing. the feeling of pulling up your boilersuit after a shit and the arm or back is wet through is absolutely soul destroying. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Moonster Posted February 28, 2022 Share Posted February 28, 2022 On 25/02/2022 at 14:59, scottsdad said: The layout of the toilet was just weird. There were 2 urinals but they backed on to a cubicle. My boss went in to urinal 1, I went to urinal 2. The layout of the room meant that I had to leave/get out of the way to allow my boss to get out. He was trapped on all 4 sides (urinal, wall, cubicle and me). Can I just clarify here - was the cubicle free? Taking urinal 2 when your boss had taken urinal 1 is behaviour that would see me put you on a certain list that would have at least one of my eyes on you at all times. I trust you were left with no other option and are not a deviant though. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottsdad Posted February 28, 2022 Share Posted February 28, 2022 1 hour ago, The Moonster said: Can I just clarify here - was the cubicle free? Taking urinal 2 when your boss had taken urinal 1 is behaviour that would see me put you on a certain list that would have at least one of my eyes on you at all times. I trust you were left with no other option and are not a deviant though. The cubicle was empty, but the issue was our backs were to the side of it. Only 2 urinals. Very poor design tbh. Could be worse though. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Moonster Posted February 28, 2022 Share Posted February 28, 2022 24 minutes ago, scottsdad said: The cubicle was empty, but the issue was our backs were to the side of it. Only 2 urinals. Very poor design tbh. Could be worse though. When given the choice of choosing to piss in a private cubicle or directly next to your boss you chose directly next to your boss. I'm afraid you have no one to blame but yourself for the awkward situation that followed. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coprolite Posted February 28, 2022 Share Posted February 28, 2022 30 minutes ago, scottsdad said: The cubicle was empty, but the issue was our backs were to the side of it. Only 2 urinals. Very poor design tbh. Could be worse though. 4 minutes ago, The Moonster said: When given the choice of choosing to piss in a private cubicle or directly next to your boss you chose directly next to your boss. I'm afraid you have no one to blame but yourself for the awkward situation that followed. Not only standing next to him but boxing him in. Seriously fucked up behaviour there. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottsdad Posted February 28, 2022 Share Posted February 28, 2022 34 minutes ago, The Moonster said: When given the choice of choosing to piss in a private cubicle or directly next to your boss you chose directly next to your boss. I'm afraid you have no one to blame but yourself for the awkward situation that followed. That sounds fair enough. Mea culpa... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GordonD Posted February 28, 2022 Share Posted February 28, 2022 (edited) 2 hours ago, The Moonster said: Taking urinal 2 when your boss had taken urinal 1 is behaviour that would see me put you on a certain list that would have at least one of my eyes on you at all times. I trust you were left with no other option and are not a deviant though. Edited February 28, 2022 by GordonD 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bairnardo Posted February 28, 2022 Share Posted February 28, 2022 I work in the engine room of a ship and there is one toilet shared by us, there is one, or more, manky b*****d that has a bad habit of missing the toilet when they are pissing. the feeling of pulling up your boilersuit after a shit and the arm or back is wet through is absolutely soul destroying. My blood went cold for a second as I read that. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottsdad Posted February 28, 2022 Share Posted February 28, 2022 5 minutes ago, oaksoft said: 2 urinals? Am I missing something or is your arithmetic a bit weak? Is one of those THREE a hand drier or a sink? I don't see a soap dispenser. BTW, those are the new Japanese models. You're supposed to sit in them. This picture is not taken from the office building I visited in 2002, but rather was taken from the internet to show that bog design can be poor. Like this one: 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Curmudgeon Posted February 28, 2022 Share Posted February 28, 2022 42 minutes ago, scottsdad said: This picture is not taken from the office building I visited in 2002, but rather was taken from the internet to show that bog design can be poor. Like this one: I'm expecting someone to start a Turdle thread for a daily puzzle of bog layouts. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Empty It Posted February 28, 2022 Share Posted February 28, 2022 BTW, those are the new Japanese models. You're supposed to sit in them. I'm not falling for that one again. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottsdad Posted February 28, 2022 Share Posted February 28, 2022 1 minute ago, oaksoft said: There used to be an online game where you were presented with various urinal scenarios in a pub and had to pick which one you would use - do you go next to the punk or the guy with tattoos etc. The game's response if you repeatedly picked a urinal already occupied by another person was fun. Just about to google "urinal fun games". Wish me luck. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hillonearth Posted February 28, 2022 Share Posted February 28, 2022 15 hours ago, The Moonster said: Can I just clarify here - was the cubicle free? Taking urinal 2 when your boss had taken urinal 1 is behaviour that would see me put you on a certain list that would have at least one of my eyes on you at all times. I trust you were left with no other option and are not a deviant though. There's an unwritten law with cubicles too...in our office there are banks of four of them, and the middle two are by far the least shat-in....everyone gravitates towards either Trap 1 or Trap 4, and will only use one of the middle ones in extremis. Which reminds me of a time I was reading the paper while launching a big brown submarine down the Clyde, when somebody came rushing in in a hurry, went into one of the middle ones and basically exploded, following the initial onslaught with a quavering sigh/groan combination: "Ooooaaaaggghhh..." Somebody in one of the other cubicles started laughing. So did I. Eventually the entire row of cubicles had someone sitting in them with their trousers at their ankles laughing uncontrollably, to the point where somebody innocently walked into the bogs a minute or so later, heard us, went "f**k that..." and walked back out, which only set us off again. 18 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted March 1, 2022 Share Posted March 1, 2022 18 hours ago, Hillonearth said: There's an unwritten law with cubicles too...in our office there are banks of four of them, and the middle two are by far the least shat-in I can't have been the only one who got this far and pictured this kind of thing 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GordonD Posted March 1, 2022 Share Posted March 1, 2022 3 minutes ago, BFTD said: I can't have been the only one who got this far and pictured this kind of thing ^^^^^ Dilbert found 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheScarf Posted March 1, 2022 Share Posted March 1, 2022 12 minutes ago, BFTD said: I can't have been the only one who got this far and pictured this kind of thing Uggggh….yeah….. that’d be great, Peter. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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