Work colleagues

[Sergeant Wilson]

4 hours ago, scottsdad said:

I am in an online conference this morning and the key takeaway from me is that I must update my standard photo. 

Every speaker is introduced with a photo of a vibrant young smiling person, but when the come on to do the talk they are at least 10 years older, more grey, haggard and worn out. Like a photo of Empire Strikes Back Luke Skywalker then being greeted with The Last Jedi Luke Skywalker. 

I want people to know how grey and haggard I am before they see me rambling on.

I've mentioned the inappropriate id photos we have on line. Instruction was clear, head shot, business/passport style photo. No...

Here's me at a wedding, here I am up a mountain/posing on a motorbike. Here's me out with the dog. Here's me on the Tuxedo Princess in 19fucking91...

[Boghead ranter]

My online pic used to be Homer Simpson biting into a doughnut. I was contacted by someone nameless via my manager that I "was to be reminded (ie told) that it had to be a picture of me".

I changed it to a pic of me, aged 6 months, which, a few weeks later, turned out to be unacceptable too!

[BFTD]

7 hours ago, scottsdad said:

I am in an online conference this morning and the key takeaway from me is that I must update my standard photo. 

Every speaker is introduced with a photo of a vibrant young smiling person, but when the come on to do the talk they are at least 10 years older, more grey, haggard and worn out. Like a photo of Empire Strikes Back Luke Skywalker then being greeted with The Last Jedi Luke Skywalker. 

I want people to know how grey and haggard I am before they see me rambling on.

Yep. One of my lecturers has to be a good twenty years younger than their Teams picture; looks like a different person. No excuse, considering they've only been using Teams for the last few years. Bit of a shock when we finally saw them on camera - a real "what happened to you?!" moment.

1 hour ago, Boghead ranter said:

My online pic used to be Homer Simpson biting into a doughnut. I was contacted by someone nameless via my manager that I "was to be reminded (ie told) that it had to be a picture of me".

I changed it to a pic of me, aged 6 months, which, a few weeks later, turned out to be unacceptable too!

Last job I was in, after we finished filling out my introductory paperwork, my boss whipped out her phone and quickly took a headshot of me "for your ID card" without notice. I looked a bit surprised, but otherwise it was a perfectly dull and cromulent work photo. She sent me a copy via email when the card was sent out, so I put it up on my staff profile. Two days later I got a call from the boss - an unnamed board member had seen the picture on the staff directory and had told her "get him to take that down and put up a picture without that stupid look on his face".

I put up a picture of me with a big insincere shiteating grin. Never heard a peep, although they did lay me off a few years later (not sure if related).

[AmericanFan]

11 hours ago, velo army said:

@AmericanFan alias found.

[scottsdad]

2 hours ago, BFTD said:

Yep. One of my lecturers has to be a good twenty years younger than their Teams picture; looks like a different person. No excuse, considering they've only been using Teams for the last few years. Bit of a shock when we finally saw them on camera - a real "what happened to you?!" moment.

Last job I was in, after we finished filling out my introductory paperwork, my boss whipped out her phone and quickly took a headshot of me "for your ID card" without notice. I looked a bit surprised, but otherwise it was a perfectly dull and cromulent work photo. She sent me a copy via email when the card was sent out, so I put it up on my staff profile. Two days later I got a call from the boss - an unnamed board member had seen the picture on the staff directory and had told her "get him to take that down and put up a picture without that stupid look on his face".

I put up a picture of me with a big insincere shiteating grin. Never heard a peep, although they did lay me off a few years later (not sure if related).

Twenty years younger, eh? Must moisturise 

[BFTD]

17 minutes ago, scottsdad said:

Twenty years younger, eh? Must moisturise 

Fucking hell; obviously I meant older.

That would be a bit bizarre. Expecting Edith to show up and in walks Yvette.

[GordonD]

11 hours ago, scottsdad said:

Twenty years younger, eh? Must moisturise 

Maybe his boss is Benjamin Button.

[coprolite]

22 hours ago, Sergeant Wilson said:

I've mentioned the inappropriate id photos we have on line. Instruction was clear, head shot, business/passport style photo. No...

Here's me at a wedding, here I am up a mountain/posing on a motorbike. Here's me out with the dog. Here's me on the Tuxedo Princess in 19fucking91...

There's at least three women at my work whose profile photo has two women in it, presumably mother/daughter or a friend or something. Morons. 

[Sugar_Army]

A few years back I was trying to upload photos of me and my mates for Scotland Supporters Club memberships.  It was the last day to renew.  Contacted them by phone and they said to just upload any pic to get it completed and they would sort it out later.

I forgot all about it and we eventually all got our memberships through.  My photo was Homer Simpson.  Thank feck I did not have to pick up tickets at away games!

 

[itzdrk]

On 04/03/2022 at 16:51, itzdrk said:

It's more work than colleagues this.

They told us they are moving office from the city centre to Paisley (we do not WFH) but they wanted to keep us so we would be getting a pay rise (we did not get one last year) so we got told today it's 4%, and after working it out between us all everyone in my team will be worse off due to travel and the extra unpaid time commuting.  The whole team is leaving.  

I'd already started making moves and got an email notification on my watch asking me if I'm free for an interview on Monday within about 5 minutes of us finishing discussing whether it was enough for us to stay.  

Gonna be a fun talk for the last guy in the team when they resign 

All sorted, offered a new job with a bit more freedom (WFH etc) on Thursday.  Lovely. 

[Hillonearth]

On 13/03/2022 at 00:04, Sugar_Army said:

A few years back I was trying to upload photos of me and my mates for Scotland Supporters Club memberships.  It was the last day to renew.  Contacted them by phone and they said to just upload any pic to get it completed and they would sort it out later.

I forgot all about it and we eventually all got our memberships through.  My photo was Homer Simpson.  Thank feck I did not have to pick up tickets at away games!

 

Somebody left their work pass on their desk a good while back, so we Pritt-sticked a photo of David Hasselhoff from that day's Metro over his photo.

He walked around with it for about six weeks before anybody noticed.

ETA - Not immediately noticing would have been understandable had it been a head shot, but this was a photo of the Hoff wearing a leather jacket and swimming trunks combo.

Edited March 14, 2022 by Hillonearth

[Florentine_Pogen]

19 hours ago, Hillonearth said:

ETA - Not immediately noticing would have been understandable had it been a head shot, but this was a photo of the Hoff wearing a leather jacket and swimming trunks combo.

Hoff nicked that look from 'John McGlynn's Big Book of Sartorial Elegance', natch......................................

Edited March 15, 2022 by Florentine_Pogen

[Steve_Wilkos]

On 11/03/2022 at 11:45, scottsdad said:

I am in an online conference this morning and the key takeaway from me is that I must update my standard photo. 

I am going on some external training later on this year, and they have sent all attendees an introduction email.

They must have taken our photos from LinkedIn, and like you say, everyone has a professional photo of them smiling in front of a neutral background.

However, my LinkedIn profile is me on a night out posing with Duncan Bannatyne in the Black Bull, Yarm. The issue here is that they have cropped ME out of the photo, leaving the other people on the course believing that a pissed-up DB will be joining them in Newcastle later on this month.

Edited March 15, 2022 by Steve_Wilkos
reupload pic

[Hillonearth]

Strange interaction today - had a Skype message from one of the bosses in another area of the building who I hadn't spoken to in ages asking if I was in the office. I said no - I'd been in yesterday and that was me for the week. Ten minutes later got a call from him where he asked me to switch on video so we could compare beards.

Turns out we'd both independently decided to grow a lockdown beard and subsequently gone all-in...somebody had seen me in the building this week and said to him mine might rival his 

 

 

[greendot]

3 hours ago, Hillonearth said:

Strange interaction today - had a Skype message from one of the bosses in another area of the building who I hadn't spoken to in ages asking if I was in the office. I said no - I'd been in yesterday and that was me for the week. Ten minutes later got a call from him where he asked me to switch on video so we could compare beards.

Turns out we'd both independently decided to grow a lockdown beard and subsequently gone all-in...somebody had seen me in the building this week and said to him mine might rival his 

 

 

[Hillonearth]

1 minute ago, greendot said:

That's actually kind of how the exchange went - he's got one that looks not unlike Tom Hanks in Castaway, while mine coupled with the fact I've got hair down to my arse is more along the lines of Marco Hietala from Nightwish.

[GordonD]

[thistledo]

10 hours ago, Hillonearth said:

That's actually kind of how the exchange went - he's got one that looks not unlike Tom Hanks in Castaway, while mine coupled with the fact I've got hair down to my arse is more along the lines of Marco Hietala from Nightwish.

Ended up growing a lockdown beard, shaving it off and the missus said I looked weird so I grew it back again. I'd like to think it's quite like Tom Hanks on Castaway or Richard Dormer at the end of Fortitude. Unfortunately due to the trimming of the moustache part regularly and having a big beak, the lads all post Amish pictures on the chat regularly. Great, funny looking b*****d with or without beard. 

[Hillonearth]

3 minutes ago, thistledo said:

Ended up growing a lockdown beard, shaving it off and the missus said I looked weird so I grew it back again. I'd like to think it's quite like Tom Hanks on Castaway or Richard Dormer at the end of Fortitude. Unfortunately due to the trimming of the moustache part regularly and having a big beak, the lads all post Amish pictures on the chat regularly. Great, funny looking b*****d with or without beard. 

TBH I'd never committed to it before, but when we first locked down I was going to shave and my missus said with a stunning lack of prescience "This'll probably be us for the next few weeks - you'd be as well growing a beard..."

I think when I realised I was past the point of no return was one lunchtime when I'd been down in the main street and bought a bag of chips - an hour later I scratched my chin and a full chip fell out of the undergrowth

[thistledo]

5 minutes ago, Hillonearth said:

TBH I'd never committed to it before, but when we first locked down I was going to shave and my missus said with a stunning lack of prescience "This'll probably be us for the next few weeks - you'd be as well growing a beard..."

I think when I realised I was past the point of no return was one lunchtime when I'd been down in the main street and bought a bag of chips - an hour later I scratched my chin and a full chip fell out of the undergrowth

Soup and crisps for me are dangers. I've trimmed mine back a fair bit as it gets quite wild otherwise, it's a nightmare if you go too far with the clippers.