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35 minutes ago, Cardinal Richelieu said:

Where the hell do you work? A war zone? A golf course? 

He works in a chipper.

4 minutes ago, GordonD said:

What would you call it? A counter? Get that into the sea along with all the other Americanisms that are creeping into our culture.

The correct answer is of course, worktop. 

7 minutes ago, Margaret Thatcher said:

Where I work we bill clients according to units. Every 6 minutes is a unit, so 10 units per hour. We round everything up, however, so if I do 30 seconds on a client file that counts as a unit and gets recorded as 6 minutes. However, when we actually bill the clients, we only bill whole hours. So I have done 6 minutes of work, I bill an hour. 66 minutes of work = two hours.

To meet my target, I have to do 55 units every day. Officially that's 5 and a half hours of billable work. But technically I could complete that in 55 seconds.

^^^^prozzie IMO

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5 minutes ago, Margaret Thatcher said:

Where I work we bill clients according to units. Every 6 minutes is a unit, so 10 units per hour. We round everything up, however, so if I do 30 seconds on a client file that counts as a unit and gets recorded as 6 minutes. However, when we actually bill the clients, we only bill whole hours. So I have done 6 minutes of work, I bill an hour. 66 minutes of work = two hours.

To meet my target, I have to do 55 units every day. Officially that's 5 and a half hours of billable work. But technically I could complete that in 55 seconds.

 

Just now, Melanius Mullarkey said:

^^^^prozzie IMO

Webcammer IMO

promo_8.jpg

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14 minutes ago, Margaret Thatcher said:

Where I work we bill clients according to units. Every 6 minutes is a unit, so 10 units per hour. We round everything up, however, so if I do 30 seconds on a client file that counts as a unit and gets recorded as 6 minutes. However, when we actually bill the clients, we only bill whole hours. So I have done 6 minutes of work, I bill an hour. 66 minutes of work = two hours.

To meet my target, I have to do 55 units every day. Officially that's 5 and a half hours of billable work. But technically I could complete that in 55 seconds.

 

2018-11-09-12-18-58-429107440.jpeg

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1 hour ago, AsimButtHitsASix said:

If I work an extra 3 minutes I claim it as fifteen.

f**k 'em. One second past 17:00 is overtime

While I agree in principal with your point, I’m likely to accept anything up to 10 minutes past finishing time as being worktime, on the basis that I’ve definitely done at least 10 minutes skiving during the day. 

10 minutes is the cut off though.

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1 hour ago, bernardblack said:

The empty kettle is infuriating.

It is especially when you've filled it, switched it on, went away for a slash then came back to find the fat chinese boy from upstairs filling his flask with your hot steaming liquid.

Spoiler

Image result for kenneth williams

 

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The whole leaving an empty kettle thing absolutely boils my piss.

We usually have zip taps and 2 kettles in our break/kitchen areas. I usually use the zip tap for hot water but they regularly break. The amount of people who don't have the courtesy to fill one of the kettles when it gets down to the dregs is unbelievable. It's particularly bad at lunch time.

We've got 2 kettles and a zip tap. Surely people aren't so ignorant that they can't make sure that at least 1 of the kettles is always full?

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The whole leaving an empty kettle thing absolutely boils my piss.
We usually have zip taps and 2 kettles in our break/kitchen areas. I usually use the zip tap for hot water but they regularly break. The amount of people who don't have the courtesy to fill one of the kettles when it gets down to the dregs is unbelievable. It's particularly bad at lunch time.
We've got 2 kettles and a zip tap. Surely people aren't so ignorant that they can't make sure that at least 1 of the kettles is always full?
Whats a zip tap?
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6 minutes ago, ayrshire_nomad said:
32 minutes ago, BallochSonsFan said:
The whole leaving an empty kettle thing absolutely boils my piss.
We usually have zip taps and 2 kettles in our break/kitchen areas. I usually use the zip tap for hot water but they regularly break. The amount of people who don't have the courtesy to fill one of the kettles when it gets down to the dregs is unbelievable. It's particularly bad at lunch time.
We've got 2 kettles and a zip tap. Surely people aren't so ignorant that they can't make sure that at least 1 of the kettles is always full?

Whats a zip tap?

https://www.zipwater.co.uk/

Edited by Zen Archer
3rd time lucky
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There's at least 3 or 4 lassiea at my work who, when they need to do something in response to an email, print off the email.

THEY PRINT OFF THE EMAIL.

There's also another lassie who prints off every single email she gets, even the shitey company ones about shit going on that no one cares about, even ones advising that an area might have a power outage for 20 minutes next Monday or the like and even ones that say someone has left their car lights on.

SHE PRINTS OFF EVERY SINGLE EMAIL SHE RECEIVES.

I have no idea what she actually does with them.

Anyway, management should genuinely be intervening in these sort of situations. I've seen it in other workplaces and management didn't intervene then either.  They need to be told though. It doesn't matter that 'it's what they've always done' or such bullshit. There's no excuse for it and there's no reason for it. It's extremely wasteful in terms of resources and time.

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1 minute ago, DA Baracus said:

. It's extremely wasteful in terms of  time.

Nail on head. It’s why these folk do it. They think they’re getting away with effectively doing f**k all because they look like they’re doing something work like.  She knows exactly what she’s doing.

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Just now, Melanius Mullarkey said:

Nail on head. It’s why these folk do it. They think they’re getting away with effectively doing f**k all because they look like they’re doing something work like.  She knows exactly what she’s doing.

Maybe the one who prints every single email, but the ones in the preceding paragraph write on them and actually physically store them in a folder.

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