nsr Posted July 20, 2018 Share Posted July 20, 2018 A flight from Palma to Exeter can't take that long. Have one when you land, you smelly tink. The cabin crew should have offered to amputate his testicles, fry them on the plane's engine, and serve them to his grand-daughter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peppino Impastato Posted July 20, 2018 Share Posted July 20, 2018 Absolute nap he's a gammon faced Brexit loving tosser Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boghead ranter Posted July 20, 2018 Share Posted July 20, 2018 14 minutes ago, Peppino Impastato said: Absolute nap he's a gammon faced Brexit loving tosser "Poked members of the flight crew" *Kenneth Williams gif* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Granny Danger Posted July 20, 2018 Share Posted July 20, 2018 7 hours ago, Boghead ranter said: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-devon-44874908 A plane passenger who flew into a rage after being denied a bacon roll by cabin crew has been fined £230. Ronald James, 68, shouted at staff and "poked them with his finger", leaving one in tears when his demand to see the captain was refused, a court heard. Exeter Magistrates' Court heard the row broke out because James had promised his grand-daughter the breakfast treat. He admitted behaving in a threatening, abusive, insulting or disorderly manner. Magistrates also ordered him to pay £50 compensation to two air stewardesses. The court heard Mr James was returning from Palma to Exeter in April with his daughter and grand-daughter on airline TUI. Prosecutor Lyndsey Baker accused Mr James of intimidating crew members after being denied access to the cockpit. At one point, his face was just 5cm (2in) from the face of a female crew member, which left her in tears, the court heard. Ms Baker said: "He was told he could not go up to the cockpit and was shouting face to face at her. "He shouted and pointed at the cabin crew, poking staff with his finger, and refused to sit down when landing." The argument lasted for "a couple of minutes" when the flight was 25 minutes from landing in Exeter, Devon. Ms Baker said the row started because Mr James had "promised" his grand-daughter a bacon roll which wasn't available on the flight. Mr James - representing himself - told the magistrates: "We had no breakfast, my granddaughter had been pushing for something to eat, and I said wait until we are on the plane." After buying beef burgers that were "dried out", Mr James was given a refund, but said it "wasn't enough". He said he wanted to speak to the captain to suggest that customers should be warned at check-in that there would be "no hot food". "I was not a happy customer - I wish I had not been on the plane and I wish it had not run out of food," he added. Pound to penny he’s a Leave voter who will be grief stricken when Lizzy Windsor dies. They should have told him there was a ban on bacon rolls because there were Muslims on board. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bert Raccoon Posted July 20, 2018 Share Posted July 20, 2018 1 hour ago, Boghead ranter said: "Poked members of the flight crew" *Kenneth Williams gif* No need for him to get his nose out of joint because of it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Inanimate Carbon Rod Posted July 20, 2018 Share Posted July 20, 2018 Apparently he owns a garage and doubled the price of petrol during a fuel shortage. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boghead ranter Posted August 17, 2018 Share Posted August 17, 2018 c**t who didn't get to go on holiday. Or has done, just a Her Maj's expense. Quote A man who made a hoax bomb call in an attempt to delay a transatlantic flight he was running late for has been jailed for ten months. Jacob Meir Abdellak was trying to catch a Norwegian flight to Los Angeles on May 11. The 47-year-old librarian called the police to report the threat – making the call at 5.47am, just eight minutes before the flight was due to depart. A full re-screening then took place, delaying take-off by 90 minutes. Abdellak was denied boarding by airline staff and became abusive, before eventually being told to return on another date to re-arrange his flight. Officials subsequently ascertained that the telephone number used to make the call was the same number linked to his booking. Abdellak, from Hackney, London, was arrested at Gatwick on May 22 as he tried to board another flight to the US. He was charged with communicating false information regarding a noxious substance likely to create serious risk to human health. He originally denied the offence, saying that while the telephone number was his, he had lost the SIM card a few days earlier and therefore could not have made the call. But he changed his plea to guilty at Lewes Crown Court in on Tuesday. Abdellak was sentenced to ten months in prison and ordered to pay a £140 victim surcharge. Chief Inspector Marc Clothier of Sussex police, who has responsibility for Gatwick, said: “This was a quite ridiculous decision made by Abdellak, who fabricated an extremely serious allegation purely for his own benefit. “He was running late for his flight and thought it would be a good idea to call in a hoax bomb, however this turned out to be the worst decision he could have made. “His actions caused the flight to be delayed, and also caused a level of fear and distress among a number of staff and passengers on board that flight. “The consequences of making allegations about bombs, guns or similar at densely populated locations such as airports are well documented, and Abdellak’s sentence serves as a warning to others that this sort of behaviour will not be tolerated and offenders will be dealt with robustly.” Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MEADOWXI Posted August 17, 2018 Share Posted August 17, 2018 On 20/07/2018 at 13:16, DA Baracus said: What did he expect the captain to do anyway? He's busy flying the fucking plane! Perhaps he wanted to captain to land at the nearest farm, butcher a pig, and make some bacon. Then fly to the nearest baker and get some rolls. They should have booted this tit out of the door with a parachute full of cutlery. Gap in the market - McDonalds Fly-Thru Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Herman Hessian Posted August 17, 2018 Share Posted August 17, 2018 On 7/20/2018 at 13:16, DA Baracus said: What did he expect the captain to do anyway? He's busy flying the fucking plane! and what exactly d'you think "autopilot" is for ? if someone can build a metal cylinder with wings that can pull itself through the air with sufficient force to generate enough lift to stay aloft surely they can link the timer on a microwave to the autopilot, so once the Rustlers are done, there's a two minute buffer before the AP disengages, giving the captain ample time to serve the piping hot burger to someone - even right at the back of the plane -and still regain control before there is any unseemly Boeing/hillside coming- together to contend with ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted August 17, 2018 Share Posted August 17, 2018 As if Captains fly the plane. Thats what they get interns on below minimum wage zero hours contracts co-pilots for. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scotty Tunbridge Posted August 17, 2018 Share Posted August 17, 2018 What did he expect the captain to do anyway? He's busy flying the fucking plane! Perhaps he wanted to captain to land at the nearest farm, butcher a pig, and make some bacon. Then fly to the nearest baker and get some rolls. They should have booted this tit out of the door with a parachute full of cutlery.Pilot was too drunk to do any of that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KnightswoodBear Posted August 17, 2018 Share Posted August 17, 2018 On 7/20/2018 at 15:10, Boghead ranter said: "Poked members of the flight crew" *Kenneth Williams gif* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheScarf Posted August 17, 2018 Share Posted August 17, 2018 Always wondered what David from the League of Gentlemen was up to these days. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ecto Posted August 21, 2018 Share Posted August 21, 2018 Tend to, if possible going to resorts with very little English in them Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Inanimate Carbon Rod Posted August 26, 2018 Share Posted August 26, 2018 https://www.birminghammail.co.uk/news/midlands-news/filth-major-cock-ups-massive-15067882?_ga=2.13208439.1709783314.1535292703-19904135.1499679438 This is how I imagine life will be after Brexit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LondonHMFC Posted August 27, 2018 Share Posted August 27, 2018 2 hours ago, Inanimate Carbon Rod said: https://www.birminghammail.co.uk/news/midlands-news/filth-major-cock-ups-massive-15067882?_ga=2.13208439.1709783314.1535292703-19904135.1499679438 This is how I imagine life will be after Brexit. I read all of that in a Partridge voice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Waspy Posted August 27, 2018 Share Posted August 27, 2018 As if Captains fly the plane. Thats what they get interns on below minimum wage zero hours contracts co-pilots for. This. The first officer does the majority of the flying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pandarilla Posted August 27, 2018 Share Posted August 27, 2018 This. The first officer does the majority of the flying. Do the planes not all but fly themselves these days? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ecto Posted August 28, 2018 Share Posted August 28, 2018 Do the planes not all but fly themselves these days?Think some do, but I still like the idea of somebody in the cockpit, just in case Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GordonD Posted August 28, 2018 Share Posted August 28, 2018 4 minutes ago, ecto said: Think some do, but I still like the idea of somebody in the cockpit, just in case The joke goes that new planes have a crew of one man and a dog. The man's job is to feed the dog. The dog's job is to bite the man if he tries to touch the controls. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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