sjc Posted July 31, 2018 Share Posted July 31, 2018 This will no doubt turn into a "hilarious" rip off version of the Viz top tips but lets try and rise above that folks. So I'll kick it off with a genuine bona fide top tip: Slicing up any unused lemons and/or limes and keeping them in the freezer saves you time and money when it comes to drinks preparation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cardinal Richelieu Posted July 31, 2018 Share Posted July 31, 2018 I do the same with the milk. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Richey Edwards Posted July 31, 2018 Share Posted July 31, 2018 Cigarettes last a lot longer and are better for your health if you refrain from lighting them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted July 31, 2018 Share Posted July 31, 2018 A sliced lemon in a bowl of water will keep your fridge smelling nice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joey Jo Jo Junior Shabadoo Posted July 31, 2018 Share Posted July 31, 2018 Put a pinch of sage in your boots and all day long a spicy scent is your reward. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heedthebaa Posted July 31, 2018 Share Posted July 31, 2018 A wet wipe a day keeps the clinkers away Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jagfox Posted July 31, 2018 Share Posted July 31, 2018 Don't eat yellow snow... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ICTJohnboy Posted July 31, 2018 Share Posted July 31, 2018 If your toilet/wc packs in and refuses to flush you should watch all the youtube videos describing how easy it is to fit a new flushing siphon thingy and then call out a plumber. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nkomo-A-Gogo Posted July 31, 2018 Share Posted July 31, 2018 If you are going on "come dine with me" then use a wooden chopping board instead of a glass one. And don't talk to the camera while chopping please. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Herman Hessian Posted July 31, 2018 Share Posted July 31, 2018 2 hours ago, Shandon Par said: A sliced lemon in a bowl of water will keep your fridge smelling nice. ...writes Mr Jeffrey Dahmer of Wisconsin Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LincolnHearts Posted July 31, 2018 Share Posted July 31, 2018 PRETEND you're on Chatroulette by having a w**k during a conference call. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brother Blades Posted July 31, 2018 Share Posted July 31, 2018 When perusing P&B, skip over any posts made by Peppino Impastato, it will add more time to enjoy posts like the two above. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LincolnHearts Posted July 31, 2018 Share Posted July 31, 2018 TRICK people into thinking you're a time-traveller by buying clothes in Aberdeen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Herman Hessian Posted July 31, 2018 Share Posted July 31, 2018 EFFECT the pleasing podiatric cleanliness that can be enjoyed after visiting one of those expensive "nibbling fish" nail-bar things at a fraction of the cost by filling a liquidiser with dirty water and putting your feet in (one at a time) so the whirring, surgically-acute blades just barely nip the tiniest bits of dead skin and excess nail off the very end of your toes... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flybhoy Posted July 31, 2018 Share Posted July 31, 2018 Brew your own Tennents lager by simply putting bottles of your own piss through a soda stream. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Venti Posted July 31, 2018 Share Posted July 31, 2018 21 minutes ago, Flybhoy said: Brew your own Tennents lager by simply putting bottles of your own piss through a soda stream. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unleash The Nade Posted July 31, 2018 Share Posted July 31, 2018 Save ££££££,s on expensive soft toys for your kids , by collecting your belly button fluff and with the use of some ear wax as a binding agent , shape them into cute little animals like this cuddly elephant Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tamthebam Posted July 31, 2018 Share Posted July 31, 2018 8 hours ago, ali_91 said: Don’t buy Anchor butter in the near future as it has been contaminated with the HIV virus. I’d give it 3 to 4 weeks before it’s safe to purchase again. did you put the W into Anchor butter? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brother Blades Posted July 31, 2018 Share Posted July 31, 2018 Brew your own Tennents lager by simply putting bottles of your own piss through a soda stream. Philistine. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgecutter Posted July 31, 2018 Share Posted July 31, 2018 Shop assistants: save mile long queues by learning how to use the f***ing PayPal machine and don't act surprised if some wifey comes in trying to use it on pay day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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