Hedgecutter Posted June 25, 2019 Share Posted June 25, 2019 I recently missed my train stop despite the train sitting at that station (Lairg) for 20 mins to let the southbound one pass (chatting to some burd). Train conductor gave me a free pass back by writing "overcarried, please take home " on my ticket and let me stay on an extra stop until Golspie so I could spend the 3+ hr wait in a pub. Pretty sound. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Derry Alli Posted June 25, 2019 Share Posted June 25, 2019 I was about 25 when I learnt gammon wasn't fish. I've no idea why I ever thought it was, it was possibly because my mum, dad and brothers always had smoked haddock on 'fish night' growing up but because i didn't like it, I got gammon. That was an awkward conversation in the pub. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cosmic Joe Posted June 25, 2019 Share Posted June 25, 2019 Pedestrian crossings apparently have the green man walking and the red man standing still. After 55 years on this planet this was news to me as I had only seen red for stop and green for go... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rab B Nesbit Posted June 25, 2019 Share Posted June 25, 2019 4 minutes ago, Dele said: I was about 25 when I learnt gammon wasn't fish. I've no idea why I ever thought it was, it was possibly because my mum, dad and brothers always had smoked haddock on 'fish night' growing up but because i didn't like it, I got gammon. That was an awkward conversation in the pub. Christ it’s a good job you are just wrapping the stuff Del. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tamthebam Posted June 25, 2019 Share Posted June 25, 2019 24 minutes ago, jupe1407 said: Descending a hill, driving to Newtonmore and checking into a bunkhouse not realising I'd actually sharted about three hours previously. On a related vein, having three huge shites on Aonach Beag and having to leave the socks I'd wiped my arse with sitting right beside them. "Embarassing Emissions" thread for this..erm.. pish. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted June 25, 2019 Share Posted June 25, 2019 5 minutes ago, Angusfifer said: Pedestrian crossings apparently have the green man walking and the red man standing still. After 55 years on this planet this was news to me as I had only seen red for stop and green for go... In Glasgow the green man was called Jimmy Johnstone. Also, did you know about the secret button at pedestrian crossings? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tamthebam Posted June 25, 2019 Share Posted June 25, 2019 11 minutes ago, Angusfifer said: Pedestrian crossings apparently have the green man walking and the red man standing still. After 55 years on this planet this was news to me as I had only seen red for stop and green for go... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgecutter Posted June 25, 2019 Share Posted June 25, 2019 Has anybody else ever turned up to work 12 hrs early and set up shop having fallen asleep after getting home and waking up a few hours later? "8:50?! Fuuuuuuuuuck!!!" (throws on jacket, runs out door...) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Busta Nut Posted June 25, 2019 Share Posted June 25, 2019 1 hour ago, BigFatTabbyDave said: As this may be turning into another shitting thread, I caught a horrific virus last year. Was pishing oot ma erse for the best part of a month. Eventually, I was too weak to move out of the wife's leather recliner so, for a few days, I had to line the chair with towels and change them every few hours lazy. seems more effort to change them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
carpetmonster Posted June 26, 2019 Share Posted June 26, 2019 I've only recently learned that raisins, sultans, and currants are dried grapes. I also don't know if it's haversack or havisack. It's also taken me an embarrassingly long time to realise that banoffee is made of banana and toffee! How can I have lived this long without knowing at least the first and third? Are other readers similarly stupid? P.S. the new emojis on P & B are pish. It's haversack. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
effeffsee_the2nd Posted June 26, 2019 Share Posted June 26, 2019 when they first came out, I thought daft punk were Scottish because of the name . imagined it said in a Scottish accent Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacksgranda Posted June 26, 2019 Share Posted June 26, 2019 14 hours ago, Hedgecutter said: Cocaine. You'd need some size of a nostril to snort them. Voila! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cardinal Richelieu Posted June 26, 2019 Share Posted June 26, 2019 I was definitely an adult before I realised that news reports of "A 35 year old man is helping police with their enquiries" didn't mean that some publicly-spirited 35 year man had wandered into the police station to see if there was anything he could do to help. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deej Posted June 26, 2019 Share Posted June 26, 2019 4 minutes ago, Cardinal Richelieu said: I was definitely an adult before I realised that news reports of "A 35 year old man is helping police with their enquiries" didn't mean that some publicly-spirited 35 year man had wandered into the police station to see if there was anything he could do to help. And when did you realise gunpoint wasn't just a really dangerous area where criminals held people? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eednud Posted June 26, 2019 Share Posted June 26, 2019 When I moved to Australia and being used to Bluebell matches it took me a while to realise why these were called Redheads. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottmcleanscontacts Posted June 26, 2019 Share Posted June 26, 2019 I'm 42 years old and, until about two years ago I genuinely thought those 'mince pies' you get at Christmas contained actual mince within it's short crust pastry type casing, only recently discovered they were actually filled with dried dark fruits etc... Although they are still fucking howling Up there with the very worst of foods. Absolute boak Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GordonD Posted June 26, 2019 Share Posted June 26, 2019 You missed out the most obvious clue of the lot: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RockMusic Posted June 26, 2019 Share Posted June 26, 2019 I was in my thirties before realising that the correct lyrics to the well known Christmas carol were: "Good King Wenceslas looked out" and not what I'd thought for years: "Good King Wencelas last looked out" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cardinal Richelieu Posted June 26, 2019 Share Posted June 26, 2019 29 minutes ago, RockMusic said: I was in my thirties before realising that the correct lyrics to the well known Christmas carol were: "Good King Wenceslas looked out" and not what I'd thought for years: "Good King Wencelas last looked out" Jesus. I'm in my forties and I've always sung "last looked out" even though I know his name was Wenceslas. What a diddy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
101 Posted June 26, 2019 Share Posted June 26, 2019 14 minutes ago, Cardinal Richelieu said: Jesus. I'm in my forties and I've always sung "last looked out" even though I know his name was Wenceslas. What a diddy. what did the rest of the congregation sing? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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