Aim Here Posted January 13, 2020 Share Posted January 13, 2020 52 minutes ago, Slacker said: About 15 years ago I made the final interview stage for an apprenticeship at Hunterston B, after passing a skills test that whittled around 100 applicants down to about a dozen, and was doing brilliantly until I was asked the question: "What is electricity?" I'd love to hear my answer back to find out just what absolute shite I came up with. I spent about a minute cobbling together an answer before one of the interviewers said "good try. but it's actually..." while I kept repeating "well that's you fucked it" over and over again in my head. Got through a couple of other questions before the final one, said by the same guy with a helping smile, "so then, what is electricity?" It was at this point I wanted my mummy. So what is electricity? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trainspotter Posted January 13, 2020 Share Posted January 13, 2020 2 hours ago, ICTChris said: Very old P&Bers will remember the meltdown that an Airdrie fan had on a similar thread to this when he confidently suggested that putting MENSA membership on your CV would help you get jobs and would open doors. Possibly before my time as I can't remember it, but this cartoon came straight to mind when I read that. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted January 13, 2020 Share Posted January 13, 2020 About 15 years ago I made the final interview stage for an apprenticeship at Hunterston B, after passing a skills test that whittled around 100 applicants down to about a dozen, and was doing brilliantly until I was asked the question: "What is electricity?" I'd love to hear my answer back to find out just what absolute shite I came up with. I spent about a minute cobbling together an answer before one of the interviewers said "good try. but it's actually..." while I kept repeating "well that's you fucked it" over and over again in my head. Got through a couple of other questions before the final one, said by the same guy with a helping smile, "so then, what is electricity?" It was at this point I wanted my mummy.I went for an interview with a shipping company as a trainee engineering officer when I was about to leave school, and was asked which was more efficient, steam or diesel. Thought it must be a trick question so said steam. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Inanimate Carbon Rod Posted January 13, 2020 Share Posted January 13, 2020 Very old P&Bers will remember the meltdown that an Airdrie fan had on a similar thread to this when he confidently suggested that putting MENSA membership on your CV would help you get jobs and would open doors.Airdrie fans can’t be MENSA members, it’s the ultimate oxymoron. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GiGi Posted January 13, 2020 Share Posted January 13, 2020 (edited) 7 minutes ago, Inanimate Carbon Rod said: Airdrie fans can’t be MENSA members, it’s the ultimate oxymoron. Just leave out Airdrie on the CV. Edit - just thinking the man in the gif probably wouldn't have Airdrie on the CV either. Edited January 13, 2020 by GiGi 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Theroadlesstravelled Posted January 13, 2020 Share Posted January 13, 2020 1 hour ago, throbber said: I got to final stages for a graduate position with Scottish water 3 years ago. To get as far as interview stage I had to: 1 a Fill out the application form which included submitting cv, covering letter and 500 words or less as to why. I would fit the role and why I wanted to work for the company. 2 - Do a 45 minute long interview speaking to a webcam at home and feeling like a twat 3 - Do various numeracy, literary competency tests and situational judgement tests that took maybe 2-3 hours I was then selected for the final stage of the process which took place at a Hilton at 9 am which involved: A one hour group exercise when you need to work together to establish the order in which you would empty items of a sinking yacht whilst HR wankers sat around us taking notes. A one hour long probing interview carried out by 1 HR and 1 person who you could potentially be working under. A data analysis test when you have an hour to review various tenders for a project and choose the one you think is best to submit to your boss. A ten minute presentation about what you would bring to the role. Another 25+ minute interview when they asked the most knobbish questions imaginable. Was 1430 by the time I got out of there without having any lunch and I received a generic email 2 weeks later saying thanks but no thanks. For the job I’m at currently I met my now at boss at the Burger King next to the Dakota in South Queensferry after work one day and got offered the job the next day. It sounds like Scottish Water has a more robust interview process that Burger King. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark Connolly Posted January 13, 2020 Share Posted January 13, 2020 3 hours ago, ICTChris said: Very old P&Bers will remember the meltdown that an Airdrie fan had on a similar thread to this when he confidently suggested that putting MENSA membership on your CV would help you get jobs and would open doors. That definitely rings a bell 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve_Wilkos Posted January 13, 2020 Share Posted January 13, 2020 I was coming to the end of a one on one interview with a woman for an office job. I farted loudly, blamed her and left immediately saying she wasn't taking my interview seriously. 10 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacksgranda Posted January 13, 2020 Share Posted January 13, 2020 2 hours ago, throbber said: I got to final stages for a graduate position with Scottish water 3 years ago. To get as far as interview stage I had to: 1 a Fill out the application form which included submitting cv, covering letter and 500 words or less as to why. I would fit the role and why I wanted to work for the company. 2 - Do a 45 minute long interview speaking to a webcam at home and feeling like a twat 3 - Do various numeracy, literary competency tests and situational judgement tests that took maybe 2-3 hours I was then selected for the final stage of the process which took place at a Hilton at 9 am which involved: A one hour group exercise when you need to work together to establish the order in which you would empty items of a sinking yacht whilst HR wankers sat around us taking notes. A one hour long probing interview carried out by 1 HR and 1 person who you could potentially be working under. A data analysis test when you have an hour to review various tenders for a project and choose the one you think is best to submit to your boss. A ten minute presentation about what you would bring to the role. Another 25+ minute interview when they asked the most knobbish questions imaginable. Was 1430 by the time I got out of there without having any lunch and I received a generic email 2 weeks later saying thanks but no thanks. For the job I’m at currently I met my now at boss at the Burger King next to the Dakota in South Queensferry after work one day and got offered the job the next day. Sure it wasn't the Adult Entertainment industry? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flybhoy Posted January 13, 2020 Share Posted January 13, 2020 Just now, throbber said: I wouldn’t have been surprised if they asked to see me naked tbh, was a ridiculous day. Don't think anyone is that fucking depraved Throbber. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flybhoy Posted January 13, 2020 Share Posted January 13, 2020 1 minute ago, throbber said: You might want to check that one over with your mother. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaz Posted January 13, 2020 Share Posted January 13, 2020 (edited) Two bad ones stand out for me. The first, I was about 18/19 and going for a job at Standard Life. Up until then my only job had been part-time at Burger King whilst I was at college. The day's going well, I did well in the aptitude test / team exercise then it came to the interview. It was one of those "tell us about a situation where" type interviews. The main interviewer asks me "tell me about a situation where you had to upsell something to someone who wasn't looking for it originally". Now, I hadn't sold anything to anyone in my life. I was good in the kitchen in BK so at that point hadn't even been till trained. I thought for a while and then said to them "sorry, but I don't think I have the experience to answer that question, I haven't done sales before". I thought that would be the end of it, but the other panel members kept badgering me for an answer, and started going on about selling fries, milkshakes and onion rings. At the point the main interviewer said "onion rings" one of her colleagues gave out a visible snigger. I was going redder and redder with embarrassment - I was a 19 year-old kid who had had an honest job and worked hard at it, and here I was being made to feel like a fucking arsehole for doing it. At that point I knew I hadn't got it, and I stopped the interview and said they should be ashamed of themselves for making me feel like that, and walked out the interview. The main interviewer apologised profusely whilst drawing daggers at her sniggering colleague, but the damage was done. So that was that. The second one, I applied for a part-time job at Dunfermline library when I was at Uni. The job advert said the hours were flexible and negotiable. When I got to the interview, one of the first things they told me was the hours they were needing me for, and it was when I was due to be in classes. I said that the job advert had said the hours were negotiable and they said they just put that in so people would apply. I said to them they'd just wasted mine and their time, and cost me petrol money. They gave me a tenner petrol money, and I left. I also registered with a couple of agencies while at Uni and each time I registered with each one the folk there seemed genuinely astonished that I could type more than 10 words a minute, perform simple arithmetic and spell words correctly. Edited January 13, 2020 by Gaz 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted January 13, 2020 Share Posted January 13, 2020 3 hours ago, throbber said: feeling like a twat That bit would've been easy. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted January 13, 2020 Share Posted January 13, 2020 No idea if it's the same now, or in other industries, but agencies for IT professionals used to be ridiculous for sending people along to companies who didn't have experience even remotely in the same area as the job they were applying for. I took myself off the books of a couple that were constantly trying to talk me into pretending to have experience or qualifications that I didn't have, or was even interested in having. No idea what they thought they'd gain from that - surely an employer would blacklist an agency who kept sending them the equivalent of jannies for their vacancy in brain surgery? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Chief Toffee Teeth Posted January 13, 2020 Share Posted January 13, 2020 In the early 80s, I went for an interview for a part-time bar job in (then) Royal Exchange Square in Glasgow. It was going fairly well until the interviewer and soon to be fairly notorious Glasgow club entrepreneur asked, " So, Big Chief. Tell us why you have Pzazz." ( Yup, no prizes for guessing the name of his shitehole of a club. )I am still proud that, at such a young age, I simply said nothing, stood up and left. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RH33 Posted January 14, 2020 Share Posted January 14, 2020 11 hours ago, throbber said: Why would they automatically assume you would put that information on a cv? Strange thing for you to get angry about. When I was applying to temp agencies as a student and just after uni I akways included that had driving license and access to car. Opened up some of the less accessible sites and a split post between two hospitals. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fullerene Posted January 14, 2020 Share Posted January 14, 2020 8 hours ago, Aim Here said: So what is electricity? The first single by OMD. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fullerene Posted January 14, 2020 Share Posted January 14, 2020 11 hours ago, dee_62 said: Thought everyone put their driving status on a CV? Only if it is positive. "Banned for ten years" should not be included on a CV. HTH 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aim Here Posted January 14, 2020 Share Posted January 14, 2020 5 minutes ago, Fullerene said: Only if it is positive. "Banned for ten years" should not be included on a CV. HTH Depends whether you actually want the job or just fulfilling this fortnight's job application quota so that the dole gestapo won't cut your giro. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RH33 Posted January 14, 2020 Share Posted January 14, 2020 Sorry misread your original post. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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