Bairn Necessities Posted March 23, 2020 Share Posted March 23, 2020 The fat fool is going to go full Churchill isn't he? Wouldn't be surprised if he has a cigar. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted March 23, 2020 Share Posted March 23, 2020 20 minutes ago, Jacksgranda said: Barry McGuire - "We're On The Eve Of Destruction". Get this version old man! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
19QOS19 Posted March 23, 2020 Share Posted March 23, 2020 One of my workmates didn't either. He had this "foolproof" method to win at the casino. Start putting £10 on a 50/50 shot like red or black. If it wins, pocket your tenner winnings and start again. If it loses, double your stake until you win. Great in theory, until one night he was trying to scrape £320 to stake after losing 5 on the spin.It's not 50/50 because of the 0. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Granny Danger Posted March 23, 2020 Share Posted March 23, 2020 Just now, Bairn Necessities said: The fat fool is going to go full Churchill isn't he? Wouldn't be surprised if he has a cigar. Declaring war on Germany at this time won’t solve anything. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silvio Tattiescone Posted March 23, 2020 Share Posted March 23, 2020 1 minute ago, Granny Danger said: Declaring war on Germany at this time won’t solve anything. It wasn’t Churchill who declared war, it was Chamberlain- don’t you remember? 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Granny Danger Posted March 23, 2020 Share Posted March 23, 2020 Just now, NewBornBairn said: It wasn’t Churchill who declared war, it was Chamberlain- don’t you remember? Yeah but that wouldn’t have worked would it? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted March 23, 2020 Share Posted March 23, 2020 2 minutes ago, Granny Danger said: Declaring war on Germany at this time won’t solve anything. They'll just wait until we're all at death's door then send half a dozen storm troopers over to take charge. No Luftwaffe required. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted March 23, 2020 Share Posted March 23, 2020 5 minutes ago, Melanius Mullarkey said: Bristol and Leeds councils have shut their parks this evening pre-empting Boris and “f**k the old folk” Cummings incompetent shit show of a government. Please accept my heartfelt apologies on this post. I forgot to add #Torycunts 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 23, 2020 Share Posted March 23, 2020 1 hour ago, The Real Saints said: I just walked past a woman in a Tesco aisle, whilst making sure I was as far away from her as I could possibly be (probably a metre or so), and she shouted ''SOCIAL AWARENESS!'' at me. It was quite disconcerting. I don't know what exactly she expected to happen during her afternoon shopping trip in London. "Fcuk off you stupid boot", is what immediately sprang to my mind there. I can honestly see there being lots of "incidents" over the coming days and weeks as there's many people either reached or very close to breaking point. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
topcat(The most tip top) Posted March 23, 2020 Share Posted March 23, 2020 Sure, but in the real world exponential growth is impossible because you eventually run out of possibilities. This is why pyramid schemes all fail - at some point you just run out of susceptible people with whom there is a chain of contact.Logistic growth is possibly a better modelhttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Logistic_function?wprov=sfti1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ayrmad Posted March 23, 2020 Share Posted March 23, 2020 1 hour ago, cyderspaceman said: This is literally pish. If we start with 5,000 cases, the geometric progression after , say 70 days, could be 100 million-ish depending on how many days is 'a few'. So, we're all going to die? Twice? I'm not greedy, you can have both my deaths, a 4 pack of toilet roll and a packet of penne. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pozbaird Posted March 23, 2020 Share Posted March 23, 2020 BBC Scotland right now. Alex Salmond story. Salmond and four or five of his team and two cops walk out, side by side. A group of seven or more all a foot away from each other. Met outside and photographed by an absolute gaggle of photographers squashed together. Took Salmond himself to tell them what they’re doing isn’t safe, as the fat fud is standing side by side with his team, giving social distancing something approaching less of a flying fcuk himself. Now the footage shows him shaking hands with well-wishers outside. Earlier on the news, the Health Minister helping out, carrying boxes of NHS equipment alongside warehouse workers. Social distancing? Aye, sure. Physically brushing past each other, actual contact. So many c***s, so many two-faced fcuks can simply go fcuk themselves. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marshmallo Posted March 23, 2020 Share Posted March 23, 2020 3 hours ago, pozbaird said: Message received and disagreed with. Hardly saw another person all day, yeah, touched some surfaces, but I touched surfaces getting money out the cashline last week, by picking up a petrol pump yesterday, by having to open doors to toilets... Any advice on how not to touch things would be greatly appreciated. I’m not planning to lock myself indoors completely and for exercise, walk around the living room in circles. If we go full lockdown, will get my exercise and vitamins from the sun by walking to and from the shops for essentials. It will likely result in me touching more surfaces than I did today. Sorry if this upsets the ‘lock yourself indoors and do not come out at all’ brigade. You NEED to open the toilet door to do a shite. You do not NEED to go out and pick up the bunker rake while you're hacking round 9 holes. Thankfully it looks like that decision will be taken out of your hands tonight. -4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
peasy23 Posted March 23, 2020 Share Posted March 23, 2020 It's not 50/50 because of the 0. Should have said "almost", but you get the gist. He never was the brightest when it came to gambling. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ayrmad Posted March 23, 2020 Share Posted March 23, 2020 1 hour ago, WATTOO said: In fairness I've only managed to keep up due to my IT team being completely incompetent and locking me out of all my systems access. As a result the only thing I've been able to access is pie and bovril. Could be worse I suppose. On the other hand, maybe they're dropping a hint. Naw, they're trolling us. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
superbigal Posted March 23, 2020 Share Posted March 23, 2020 Toilet roll in all shops in my village. Stay away dundonians. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ayrmad Posted March 23, 2020 Share Posted March 23, 2020 1 hour ago, Sergeant Wilson said: Who'd want a chess board full of rice? It would need to be a huge chess board. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jagfox Posted March 23, 2020 Share Posted March 23, 2020 35 minutes ago, Granny Danger said: Johnson to address the nation at 8.30 p.m. It’s happening folks. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted March 23, 2020 Share Posted March 23, 2020 1 minute ago, ayrmad said: It would need to be a huge chess board. One of those big outdoor ones you get at the seaside? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
superbigal Posted March 23, 2020 Share Posted March 23, 2020 Toilet roll in all shops in my village. Stay away dundonians. Proof note time 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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