What's the worst thing you've ever done?

[Jives Miguel]

2 hours ago, throbber said:

I was trolling someone asking what they meant by saying no time wasters as well but didn’t get a screenshot of it at time and can’t log back in. 
 

I am certainly not proud of my behaviour.

One time in high school I spat on the a car that belonged to the mother of a child I didn’t like.

 

I've spat on a car before for blocking entry onto a pavement. Had to go out onto the road with a pram to get round him. Big fucking grogger right onto the windscreen for my troubles. 

[BFTD]

40 minutes ago, coprolite said:

I told a girl in my class on a night out that she was ugly and i hated her. No idea why and no excuses. She was no oil painting but i didn't dislike her in the slightest. I still feel guilty about that. 

Sometimes I'll remember something I said like this, and wonder if the person in question would benefit at all from an apology.

Then I remember I'm likely the only snowflake in existence who'd feel guilty about it, and they'd probably just unearth memories of why I'd said it in the first place by being an utter c**t.

23 minutes ago, jamamafegan said:

There was this kid that used to hang out with us - he was a wee geek and annoying. One day he annoyed me so much that I stuffed holly leaves down the back of his t-shirt. He ran away home screaming and crying. Later that day his mum went round to my house and was rightfully raging, saying that her sons back was covered in cuts and scratches. Needless to say I got a bollocking from my folks for being such a shit. I remember seeing him in the passing a few times years later when we had grown up and I would would always feel bad.

...and that child would grow up to be <insert poster name here>.

[coprolite]

3 hours ago, scottsdad said:

Posted this before but wiped my arse on the flag from the green of the 9th hole of Braehead Golf Club. Then put it back. 

A fair and accurate critique of golf

[Newbornbairn]

4 hours ago, scottsdad said:

Posted this before but wiped my arse on the flag from the green of the 9th hole of Braehead Golf Club. Then put it back. 

You know they can find you with DNA testing?

[fuzzydunlop]

Probably doesn't fall into the category of "worst" but was certainly funny and I did have some pangs of regret afterwards.

6th year at High School.  Wee guy in our year. He was alright but could sometimes be a smart arse.   His parents were really religious and he was always going to Bible Studies and that sorta sh*te.   So he could be a bit preachy to other folk.  

We were in 6th year at School and some of us had passed our driving tests.  This guy had fancied this lassie in our year for ages...most lads fancied her as she was pretty but also a good laugh.  However she was also into all the religious carry on so that scared a few folk off. 

One day the lad came in boasting that he was picking this girl up on Thursday night to go to a Bible Studies meeting at someone's house as a 'date'.   He'd got permission to use his mums Golf GTI to go pick her up so they could go to the meeting together.  We all assumed she was just getting a free lift but he was adamant it was a date.

As was the way, to pass the time in those days myself and few mates were out in the car driving about on the Thursday night when someone spotted him driving in the opposite direction with the girl in the car.  We decided to follow him(creepy I know) and ended up in this really posh housing estate where they were going for the bible meeting.

One of us(not me I must add) decided it would be a good idea to go back to their house, pick up some cellotape and also get a load of Sunday Sport newspapers that they'd been keeping in his shed, go back upto to where this lad had parked his car. Then we proceeded to plaster his car with pictures of tits.  Literally the whole car covered in tits.

We then sat along the road in a vantage position waiting.   Eventually he comes out with this girl...could see him pointing at the car and then he went absolutely apeshit, ripping off the newspaper and shouting.  We were parked about 6 cars away and we could hear him shouting and bawling.   Pictures of tits blowing down the street, neighbours out in the street wondering what was going, tits all over their nice gardens.... How no one heard us laughing is beyond me.

Weirdly next day at school we asked him how his night had been. He didnt mention it. We didn't own up and nothing was said about it.   He never got a second 'date' either....

[Loonytoons]

4 hours ago, scottsdad said:

Posted this before but wiped my arse on the flag from the green of the 9th hole of Braehead Golf Club. Then put it back. 

 

18 minutes ago, Newbornbairn said:

You know they can find you with DNA testing?

Too many DNA profiles on the flag.

[Newbornbairn]

24 minutes ago, Loonytoons said:

 

Too many DNA profiles on the flag.

Like hotel curtains?

[Curmudgeon]

1 hour ago, fuzzydunlop said:

Probably doesn't fall into the category of "worst" but was certainly funny and I did have some pangs of regret afterwards.

6th year at High School.  Wee guy in our year. He was alright but could sometimes be a smart arse.   His parents were really religious and he was always going to Bible Studies and that sorta sh*te.   So he could be a bit preachy to other folk.  

We were in 6th year at School and some of us had passed our driving tests.  This guy had fancied this lassie in our year for ages...most lads fancied her as she was pretty but also a good laugh.  However she was also into all the religious carry on so that scared a few folk off. 

One day the lad came in boasting that he was picking this girl up on Thursday night to go to a Bible Studies meeting at someone's house as a 'date'.   He'd got permission to use his mums Golf GTI to go pick her up so they could go to the meeting together.  We all assumed she was just getting a free lift but he was adamant it was a date.

As was the way, to pass the time in those days myself and few mates were out in the car driving about on the Thursday night when someone spotted him driving in the opposite direction with the girl in the car.  We decided to follow him(creepy I know) and ended up in this really posh housing estate where they were going for the bible meeting.

One of us(not me I must add) decided it would be a good idea to go back to their house, pick up some cellotape and also get a load of Sunday Sport newspapers that they'd been keeping in his shed, go back upto to where this lad had parked his car. Then we proceeded to plaster his car with pictures of tits.  Literally the whole car covered in tits.

We then sat along the road in a vantage position waiting.   Eventually he comes out with this girl...could see him pointing at the car and then he went absolutely apeshit, ripping off the newspaper and shouting.  We were parked about 6 cars away and we could hear him shouting and bawling.   Pictures of tits blowing down the street, neighbours out in the street wondering what was going, tits all over their nice gardens.... How no one heard us laughing is beyond me.

Weirdly next day at school we asked him how his night had been. He didnt mention it. We didn't own up and nothing was said about it.   He never got a second 'date' either....

The next day I hope you asked him if the Golf GTI was the Sport version.

[anotherchance]

Back when the internet was in its infancy I e-mailed my school and threatened to kill one of my teachers - on the surface there was absolutely no reason for it, but thinking back it was probably something psychological about wanting to be noticed/notorious as I was a bit of a geek.

Police tracked down my e-mail account/IP address, we got the knock on the door and I got the bollocking of my life. No idea how I avoided getting excluded or expelled.

[GNU_Linux]

Killed a guy with a trident.

[hk blues]

Yesterday I used the word 'lovely.' Not to describe how something looked or tasted (which would be bad enough, I agree) but in the same way as we use 'great' or 'fine' when someone says something.  

[Fullerene]

27 minutes ago, hk blues said:

Yesterday I used the word 'lovely.' Not to describe how something looked or tasted (which would be bad enough, I agree) but in the same way as we use 'great' or 'fine' when someone says something.  

Crikey!  How dreadful! 

[hk blues]

2 minutes ago, Fullerene said:

Crikey!  How dreadful! 

Utterly! 

[Newbornbairn]

33 minutes ago, hk blues said:

Yesterday I used the word 'lovely.' Not to describe how something looked or tasted (which would be bad enough, I agree) but in the same way as we use 'great' or 'fine' when someone says something.  

Nice.

[hk blues]

1 minute ago, Newbornbairn said:

Nice.

Much obliged! 

[The Moonster]

18 hours ago, coprolite said:

I told a girl in my class on a night out that she was ugly and i hated her. No idea why and no excuses. She was no oil painting but i didn't dislike her in the slightest. I still feel guilty about that. 

In P6 a girl I liked had her friends come up and ask me if I wanted to be her boyfriend and I told them that she would need to ask me herself. She came over and asked me and I said naw and ran away laughing. Still no idea why I did it and still feel bad about it.

10 hours ago, anotherchance said:

Back when the internet was in its infancy I e-mailed my school and threatened to kill one of my teachers - on the surface there was absolutely no reason for it, but thinking back it was probably something psychological about wanting to be noticed/notorious as I was a bit of a geek.

Police tracked down my e-mail account/IP address, we got the knock on the door and I got the bollocking of my life. No idea how I avoided getting excluded or expelled.

Guy at my school went a step further - he got "radicalised" online and sent "anthrax" to various political figures such as Cherie Blair and the Royals. He also sent death threats to the head of our Primary school. I think he went to jail for a year or two in the end. 

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/crime/boy-admits-sending-caustic-face-rub-to-cherie-blair-85745.html%3famp

[Ross.]

15 minutes ago, The Moonster said:

In P6 a girl I liked had her friends come up and ask me if I wanted to be her boyfriend and I told them that she would need to ask me herself. She came over and asked me and I said naw and ran away laughing. Still no idea why I did it and still feel bad about it.

Guy at my school went a step further - he got "radicalised" online and sent "anthrax" to various political figures such as Cherie Blair and the Royals. He also sent death threats to the head of our Primary school. I think he went to jail for a year or two in the end. 

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/crime/boy-admits-sending-caustic-face-rub-to-cherie-blair-85745.html%3famp

Quote

 Smith, a pupil at Dumbarton Academy, admitted preparing and sending eight anthrax letters and 36 ricin letters and committing a breach of the peace.

And a breach of the peace? What a c**t.

[coprolite]

10 hours ago, The Moonster said:

In P6 a girl I liked had her friends come up and ask me if I wanted to be her boyfriend and I told them that she would need to ask me herself. She came over and asked me and I said naw and ran away laughing. Still no idea why I did it and still feel bad about it.

 

Shat it

[throbber]

I remember a young lad who was same year as me in school (13 at the time) sent hate mail with incredibly viscous content to a girl who had stopped speaking to him on the school bus. Things like he was watching her and was going to come and kill her sister as well as sexually explicit content that a 13 year old shouldn’t be exposed to. 

[coprolite]

7 minutes ago, throbber said:

 viscous content