Shoplifting anarchy

[tamthebam]

As a teenage tearaway* I nicked sweets from Woolies when I was on holiday in Weston-super-Mare  

It's my fault they closed down in the end. 

*this is a lie

[LauriestonBairn]

Johnathan Ross was caught stealing kitchen utensils from my local Co-op.

 

Apparently it was "a whisk he was willing to take".......

[hk blues]

6 hours ago, LauriestonBairn said:

Johnathan Ross was caught stealing kitchen utensils from my local Co-op.

 

Apparently it was "a whisk he was willing to take".......

Apparently he had a few twix up his sleeve as well. 

[Sergeant Wilson]

9 hours ago, 'WellDel said:

The exquisite scent of the scoot of Lynx Africa you put on to make a good first impression on your good lady must have been enough to mask your Hamilton Musk.

He bought the Lynx along with some razors from a junkie in the pub.

[mathematics]

I know a lad who, back in the nineties, shoplifted hundreds of pounds worth of gear from Games Workshop stores in Ayr and Glasgow.

He and his mates eventually got caught at the Ayr branch, when his trench coat with a hole in the lining became a little too stuffed/looking. Running in that thing was not an option.

If any company could do with getting ripped off, it’s games workshop. f**k them.

[scottsdad]

A mate of mine (also in the 90s) would steal from the Virgin megastore in Stirling, then take items back and ask for a refund. He managed it a couple of times before the store clocked on that the same guy kept returning items without a receipt. 

[hk blues]

30 minutes ago, scottsdad said:

A mate of mine (also in the 90s) would steal from the Virgin megastore in Stirling, then take items back and ask for a refund. He managed it a couple of times before the store clocked on that the same guy kept returning items without a receipt. 

Didn't his age arouse suspicion when shopping? 

[scottsdad]

1 hour ago, hk blues said:

Didn't his age arouse suspicion when shopping? 

No, he was 15/16 at the time. 

[effeffsee_the2nd]

4 hours ago, mathematics said:

I know a lad who, back in the nineties, shoplifted hundreds of pounds worth of gear from Games Workshop stores in Ayr and Glasgow.

He and his mates eventually got caught at the Ayr branch, when his trench coat with a hole in the lining became a little too stuffed/looking. Running in that thing was not an option.

If any company could do with getting ripped off, it’s games workshop. f**k them.

ah the days, as a teenager I owned a regular jacket that had been home modified with two inside pockets that could comfortably conceal 2 bottles of buckfast or cider without displaying a tell-tale bulge from outside  when zipped up. The bottles mostly weren't nicked to be fair, it was much easier to get a carry out when you were underage 20 years ago, but handy for keeping the merch away from the eyes of the law!

[Brother Blades]

Used to have a very proficient shoplifter selling his wares in my local in mid 2000’s. 

One of my pals who is a bit of a flash c**t decided he wanted a huge bottle of champagne for his (new) girlfriends birthday party. So asked our Gillette supplier to pinch it. Said bottle was about 2 1/2 feet tall! Was easily lifted from the local Tesco, f**k knows how he got out with it.

Cut to the birthday party & big build up to the champagne being opened only for there to be no pop from the cork, turns out it was a promotional/ advertising item & it was just water inside. 

 

[Sergeant Wilson]

I went for a prescription yesterday. While I was waiting three junkies, one in a wheelchair, were struggling with the concept of opening the door. I opened and held it to allow the wheelchair in. I was then asked by the chemist if I could come back in 10 minutes. As I waited in the car, all three got pitched back out for some attempts at shoplifting.

I was ashamed I had facilitated such a shieshow.

[welshbairn]

I'm thinking shopkeepers' complaints about the police effectively decriminalising shoplifting may have backfired.

[ICTChris]

The police should do more to stop shoplifters, says prolific shoplifter.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-66974506
 

 

[thisal]

On 22/09/2023 at 12:54, effeffsee_the2nd said:

ah the days, as a teenager I owned a regular jacket that had been home modified with two inside pockets that could comfortably conceal 2 bottles of buckfast or cider without displaying a tell-tale bulge from outside  when zipped up. The bottles mostly weren't nicked to be fair, it was much easier to get a carry out when you were underage 20 years ago, but handy for keeping the merch away from the eyes of the law!

Yes the holes in your pockets where for booze. We believe you.

[BFTD]

On 21/09/2023 at 16:40, Cappiecat1.2 said:

"However, we are seeing things like baby milk being stolen because it is being used to cut drugs.  We are seeing things in health and beauty being stolen as it is being used to fund organised crime."

Who knew the Coop had a QAnon branch?

Organised crime had to diversify after terrorism stole its funds from DVD piracy.

Quite bemused by the idea of criminal gangs deciding to rob a bank, but having to do casual shoplifting to save up for balaclavas, shotguns, and a getaway car.

"Well, I used to do a bit of the old drug dealing, but those wee baggies got expensive and the polis had a crackdown on petty theft, so I had to give it up"