Great Posts

[D Angelo Barksdale]

An accompanying thread to the Great Posters thread.

Great posters do great posts. What are the great posts of p&b ?

What's the greatest post you have made ?

What are The Forum's worst, or most rotten posts ?

 

[mathematics]

My most greenied post ever was one concerning my work colleagues.

 

Still makes me chuckle.

[alta-pete]

The ‘Let’s all laugh at the arse cheeks’ threads on the Premiership page are usually very good value after one or other has been humped by a diddy/issued a nonsense statement/fans have disgraced themselves.

The Sevco patter - while entirely valid - has been done. Finding a new nuance on which to have a dig is absolutely fair game but recycling ten year old gotchas aren’t the zingers the author thinks they are.  

[Aim Here]

2 minutes ago, alta-pete said:

The ‘Let’s all laugh at the arse cheeks’ threads on the Premiership page are usually very good value after one or other has been humped by a diddy/issued a nonsense statement/fans have disgraced themselves.

The Sevco patter - while entirely valid - has been done. Finding a new nuance on which to have a dig is absolutely fair game but recycling ten year old gotchas aren’t the zingers the author thinks they are.  

If we're going with the 'laugh at the arsecheeks' genre, then HibsFan's chronicle of the Sevco banter years thread is surely the best in that category, as well as surely having the highest greenie count of any post on P&B.

 

 

 

[itzdrk]

'All day I killed cows'

[2426255]

5 minutes ago, alta-pete said:

The Sevco patter - while entirely valid - has been done. Finding a new nuance on which to have a dig is absolutely fair game but recycling ten year old gotchas aren’t the zingers the author thinks they are.  

[Brother Blades]

7 minutes ago, mathematics said:

My most greenied post ever was one concerning my work colleagues.

 

Still makes me chuckle.

I had never read that before! You’ve now got another greenie, well played. 

[RH33]

Badger!

[Central Belt Caley]

I “won the day” once with the following:

Considered putting it in my Tinder bio I’m that proud of the achievement. 
 

One of my favourites from this year I think it was @LondonHMFC’s post on the tinder thread about his dates ex walking in when they were in bed and the ex then stole his trainers too. Fantastic story. 

[RuMoore]

3 minutes ago, Central Belt Caley said:

I “won the day” once with the following:

Considered putting it in my Tinder bio I’m that proud of the achievement. 
 

One of my favourites from this year I think it was @LondonHMFC’s post on the tinder thread about his dates ex walking in when they were in bed and the ex then stole his trainers too. Fantastic story. 

Was literally searching to find that post as you typed this out. 

Definitely the best of the year. 

On 18/04/2023 at 13:47, LondonHMFC said:

I feel the good people of P&B will enjoy this story of my evening last night, after matching with a girl on Hinge. I am going to put it as a spoiler as it is fairly NSFW. 

  Reveal hidden contents

So, I matched with a girl around a week ago on Hinge. She is a similar age, has two children and has been single since January. Her partner of five years was messaging other women, which she found out about and ended the relationship. 

Quite quickly it became apparent that she wasn't looking for a relationship, but instead a friends with benefits type situation which at this moment in time suits me fairly well. She lives on the Surrey/Sussex border in an incredibly Tory village, so I realised fairly soon that I was her bit of rough, which again suits me. 

Anyway, she was free last night, so I finished work and drove over to Tory Town. She owned a lovely cottage, and we went for a drink at the local pub where I paid just short of £8 for an incredibly shit Guinness. She asked if I wanted to go back to hers, to which I said I did so we headed back. 

As soon as we shut the door, the week of anticipation got the better of us and we took each others clothes off and rushed upstairs where we engaged in some adult activity which was a solid 7/10 (she had left her socks on). Without being too crass, it finished with her between my legs. However, as I lay back to enjoy the spectacle, a males voice was heard beside the bedroom door, before a male walked in. My first thought was this was some sort of kink, however that was quickly eradicated once he started asking "did he taste good" and "so you must be the guy". 

Now folks, I will admit, I was lying on the bed, with a penis that was starting to turn flaccid very quickly as this man stood beside the bed. It quickly became apparent that he was the ex. The girl obviously shocked started screaming at him, telling him to get out. He started telling her that she better get ready to pay the school fees (obviously the children go to private school which is against my personal beliefs, but it wasn't the time for that chat) and looked me in the eye and said "I hope you've got a lot of money mate". Again I feel it is fairly important to state that I was lying fully naked with my penis shrivelling up by the second. He then told her he had to let him out the front door, to which she replied "well how did you get in". He proudly stated that he knew THEIR house inside out and he had climbed in one of the windows. Eventually he went downstairs with her following, I could hear bit of a barney ensue, and I didn't know whether to go downstairs or not. However being naked, and with my clothes downstairs, I decided against it and just lay there. 

She came back upstairs, quite upset and obviously in a bit of shock. I asked if they were still together to which she clarified they weren't. Her phone then started going mental, as he said he had forgotten to get his passport (I don't even know), and was coming back. So she went downstairs again, he came in, collected his passport and started shouting a lot, with the word "emotionless" being said a lot. He left again, slamming the door which she locked again and then went round all the windows to make sure they were closed. Once she was back in the room she said that he was saying to her that he would happily go back out with her and she could sleep with other men, as long as no emotion was involved. He said him texting other women was emotionless, and her physically fucking someone else was much worse. 

I didn't feel like I could leave straight away, so tried consoling her which was obviously quite difficult. After an hour or so I said I needed to get home, but if she wanted to she could come back as I didn't want her to feel unsafe. She said she would be fine, and apologised for the whole situation. I went downstairs and got my clothes on, and gave her a kiss goodbye. As I went to the door, I asked if she had moved my trainers, but she said she hadn't. Instead it seems that he had in fact stolen my trainers. She went outside for a look, but couldn't find them anywhere. So I left, in my socks for the walk to my car. On the drive home, I went through many emotions, but the main one was utter hysterics as I tried working out where in life I have gone so bloody wrong. To top it all off, my petrol light came on, so at 10pm last night I walked into the local petrol station in my socks to pay for fuel. I could feel a few people looking at me, but in my eyes, at least I was no longer naked on a bed with a man and woman having a screaming match. 

I am going to take a short break from dating.

 

 

Edited December 27, 2023 by RuMoore

[Richey Edwards]

That cheerio from chigsy post never fails to make me laugh like f**k.

I tried to do a dramatic reading of it for the "voice messages" thread but couldn't do it for laughing. 

Edited December 27, 2023 by Richey Edwards

[Central Belt Caley]

3 minutes ago, RuMoore said:

Was literally searching find that post as you typed this out. 

Definitely the best of the year. 

 

Great minds n all that 

[D Angelo Barksdale]

3 faves that live on in some poster's sigs.

 

Edited December 27, 2023 by Chris Partlow

[Empty It]

9 minutes ago, RuMoore said:

Was literally searching to find that post as you typed this out. 

Definitely the best of the year. 

 

I remember reading @LondonHMFC post and having tears rolling down my face, a definite all time great.

[Empty It]

"Anyone want to buy a 42 inch LCD tv for £50? The volume button doesn't work, but for that price you can't turn it down."

And the hilarity that followed.

[Newbornbairn]

[D Angelo Barksdale]

[Newbornbairn]

But then there was the hunchback post 

[Soapy FFC]

The last line of this post still makes me laugh.

[GHF-23]

Posty post