Petty Things That Get On Your Nerves...

[101]

10 hours ago, Soapy FFC said:

The longest day was over a month ago. The nights are starting to draw in. It’s rained more days than it’s been warm and sunny in the last month. The leaves on the tree out the back from me are starting to turn orange and brown and look autumnal. Scottish schools finish the summer holidays in under 3 weeks. But, as the English schools have just gone on holiday, I’m being told on every TV channel that summer has just started.

Summer starts in June I'd suggest giving anyone who says different a wide berth they are clearly a moron.

[Melanius Mullarkey]

7 hours ago, Swarley said:

Presumably that was after sampling a local shroom?

I’d been in country for about 2 weeks and was curried oot ma nut by that stage.

22 minutes ago, BTFD said:

PTTGOYN #2607: I started a new job recently, and the gents lavvie is covered in the most stereotypical knuckle-dragging Old Firm graffiti you could imagine ("youse shag weans", "naw we dinnae, youse dae", etc). Just the most depressing thing this side of finding out how many people still don't understand (or care about) the concept of consent.

Does P&B have any suggestions for an addition that would trigger both cheeks into apoplexy? Asking for a mate.

Do you miss Leicester, Brendan?

[velo army]

25 minutes ago, BTFD said:

PTTGOYN #2607: I started a new job recently, and the gents lavvie is covered in the most stereotypical knuckle-dragging Old Firm graffiti you could imagine ("youse shag weans", "naw we dinnae, youse dae", etc). Just the most depressing thing this side of finding out how many people still don't understand (or care about) the concept of consent.

Does P&B have any suggestions for an addition that would trigger both cheeks into apoplexy? Asking for a mate.

Are you working in Glasgow City Chambers now?

[BFTD]

3 minutes ago, Melanius Mullarkay said:

I’d been in country for about 2 weeks and was curried oot ma nut by that stage.

Do you miss Leicester, Brendan?

Apparently Brendan (or 'Bendan') is also a 'peedo'.

I'd take pictures, but guaranteed someone else who works there will recognise them. Also, taking pictures in public toilets would likely break my probation.

[Salt n Vinegar]

47 minutes ago, BTFD said:

I can scarcely have a conversation with my father without it being mentioned that you can't service your own car these days. This has been going on for about a decade. The auld yins seem utterly incredulous that nobody's still making the cars they grew up driving.

If manufacturers no longer included computers, electric windows, all round parking cameras, automatic engine cut out when in neutral with hand brake on, sat nav etc the cost of a car should to about three hundred quid.

[scottsdad]

1 hour ago, BTFD said:

PTTGOYN #2607: I started a new job recently, and the gents lavvie is covered in the most stereotypical knuckle-dragging Old Firm graffiti you could imagine ("youse shag weans", "naw we dinnae, youse dae", etc). Just the most depressing thing this side of finding out how many people still don't understand (or care about) the concept of consent.

Does P&B have any suggestions for an addition that would trigger both cheeks into apoplexy? Asking for a mate.

1. Take art classes
2. Become a world class portrait artist 
3. Draw a picture on the bog wall of Walter Smith, Ally McCoist, Tommy Burns and Hendrik Larsson engaging in degrading coitus with each other, with Captain Tom and the Pope watching on, looking disappointed 

[Melanius Mullarkey]

23 minutes ago, scottsdad said:

1. a picture l of Walter Smith, Ally McCoist, Tommy Burns and Hendrik Larsson engaging in degrading coitus with each other, with Captain Tom and the Pope watching on, looking disappointed 

Going to stick that into Midjourney later.

[GordonD]

1 hour ago, Salt n Vinegar said:

If manufacturers no longer included computers, electric windows, all round parking cameras, automatic engine cut out when in neutral with hand brake on, sat nav etc the cost of a car should to about three hundred quid.

But apart from computers, electric windows, all round parking cameras, automatic engine cut out when in neutral with hand brake on and sat nav, what have car manufacturers ever given us?

[tamthebam]

1 hour ago, BTFD said:

 

Does P&B have any suggestions for an addition that would trigger both cheeks into apoplexy? Asking for a mate.

"Rangers died and Celtic are just a Hibs tribute act"

[Guest]

2 hours ago, Zen Archer (Raconteur) said:

Sometimes you have to bite the bullet.

I have raked through boxes of stuff for spares with no joy, due to different manufacturers using different threads on their products.

This is a not so petty thing that gets on my nerves, w****r companies using their own threads so you can only use their products then you find you can't get the part for weeks, shower of c***s.

See also manufacturers of units that refuse to give you the code to inspect the b*****ding things.

[Melanius Mullarkey]

Best I can do at short notice.

[Dan Steele]

Tonight's episode of The Joy of Painting with Bob Ross is at the slightly later time of 11.30 

1 hour ago, scottsdad said:

1. Draw a picture on the bog wall of Walter Smith, Ally McCoist, Tommy Burns and Hendrik Larsson engaging in degrading coitus with each other, with Captain Tom and the Pope watching on, looking disappointed 

 

[JamesP_81]

2 hours ago, BTFD said:

I can scarcely have a conversation with my father without it being mentioned that you can't service your own car these days. This has been going on for about a decade. The auld yins seem utterly incredulous that nobody's still making the cars they grew up driving.

" You used to be able to pop the bonnet and fix anything you wanted and off you went , now it doesn't even look like an engine " 

Yes I grew up being driven in cars that would start on the 3rd attempt at best , have flames blowing out the exhaust and would randomly cut out,usually in the middle of busy junctions . All this while I was rolling about loose in the back and looking at the road through the rust hole in the bottom of the door. Aye da let's bring back the good ol' days .  

[scottsdad]

1 minute ago, JamesP_81 said:

" You used to be able to pop the bonnet and fix anything you wanted and off you went , now it doesn't even look like an engine " 

Yes I grew up being driven in cars that would start on the 3rd attempt at best , have flames blowing out the exhaust and would randomly cut out,usually in the middle of busy junctions . All this while I was rolling about loose in the back and looking at the road through the rust hole in the bottom of the door. Aye da let's bring back the good ol' days .  

For years and years my dad claimed the best car he ever owned was a Fiat Regatta. It only rarely broke down, compared to the other cars he had. 

[hk blues]

I just got a new car, 1st time I've driven in almost 20 years.  Putting aside the fact some c**t rear-ended me on Monday (settle down Kenneth) which isn't petty considering he had no insurance but that's another story - I'm not a fan of the keyless remote entry.  It's handy but what's to stop someone nipping in behind you whilst you're still within the operating distance of the remote fob?  Nothing that I can see.

[Melanius Mullarkey]

Celtgers in a nutshell.

Spoiler

 

[Derry Alli]

On the phone to a tech department in Belgium who can't help as they're all shut down for holidays so pass my number onto Italy who call me and can't speak any Wnglish so they're away to try get an interpratator to try call me. 

I'd much rather just give up and walk away but I'm kind of in too deep now.

[welshbairn]

3 hours ago, BTFD said:

PTTGOYN #2607: I started a new job recently, and the gents lavvie is covered in the most stereotypical knuckle-dragging Old Firm graffiti you could imagine ("youse shag weans", "naw we dinnae, youse dae", etc). Just the most depressing thing this side of finding out how many people still don't understand (or care about) the concept of consent.

Does P&B have any suggestions for an addition that would trigger both cheeks into apoplexy? Asking for a mate.

You could print off this and stick it on?

[tamthebam]

1 hour ago, Melanius Mullarkay said:

Best I can do at short notice.

What's Otto Von Bismarck saying to Rolf that's put a smile on Brian Cox's coupon anyway?

[Derry Alli]

2 hours ago, Derry Alli said:

On the phone to a tech department in Belgium who can't help as they're all shut down for holidays so pass my number onto Italy who call me and can't speak any Wnglish so they're away to try get an interpratator to try call me. 

I'd much rather just give up and walk away but I'm kind of in too deep now.

 

3 hours ago, Empty It said:

This is a not so petty thing that gets on my nerves, w****r companies using their own threads so you can only use their products then you find you can't get the part for weeks, shower of c***s.

See also manufacturers of units that refuse to give you the code to inspect the b*****ding things.

After 3 phonecalls from Mauro, I needed to get a sparky out to test a circuit board and when I phoned him back was put back through to Belgium where it has been discovered my company isn't on their approved installation list nor is the supplier they sold it to (they're allowed to buy in and sell on but not fit) so there won't be any help forthcoming and if it needs an engineer to look at it they can send somebody up from Ramsworth (?) In England.

FML.