2426255 Posted March 5 Share Posted March 5 Maybe the young waitress and manager are actually in cahoots, double teaming unsuspecting male customers when it gets quiet and splitting the extra tip money earned. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted March 5 Share Posted March 5 11 hours ago, Derry Alli said: I am now in my hotel room fuming I never banjoe'd the arsehole. His or hers? 16 hours ago, Bairnardo said: Hope it hurt like f**k Not the most pleasant experience. Better than the old tracing paper I suppose. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hk blues Posted March 5 Share Posted March 5 10 hours ago, Derry Alli said: She'd most certainly get her second tip off me of the night, if that's the case. I think a tenner in an envelope is the done things these days, but not until the next day. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swarley Posted March 5 Share Posted March 5 13 hours ago, Derry Alli said: Me getting older and less patient for shite or people in power abusing it. I've just left a restaurant where I was the only diner and the young waitress was having a chat with me and head bozo comes out and basically pulls her away. Then decides he wants to come and chat with me (the thing I heard him have a go at her about). He gets rubbered and storms off. He's back two minutes later where I decide to give him a chance - he then begins to pester every few minutes and gets asked to let me try the untouched plate before asking if it's any good. I shit you not he opens a cupboard door and peeks through the hinge side at me eat then asks if the foods okay. I burst out laughing and asked for a napkin. He then goes and has a go at the waitress for not having g my room number. She does, she says 519 he tells her to go make sure so I shout 519. She smiles and says thank you. He storms off. I'm around a corner remember! I finish my pasta - which I eat with the only spoon - he notices this on one of his 5000 walks past my table and goes to have a go at her again. At this point my tattie goes. I politely inform him she's doing a fucking excellent job. Even more so under the constant pressure he's addi g to the situation. Tell him to calm the fück down or I will walk and most importantly she probably will quit the first chance she gets. He starts mumbling about a dessert spoon and I just pick it out the bowl and say "this one? The one I just used to eat pasta with because I refuse to chase penne pasta around a bowl with mince using a fork?" Again, we are half a restaurant apart. He's peeking round this corner. She somehow felt the need to apologise for me using the spoon, I told her it's not necessary gave her her tip and told her I'm sorry she has to work with such an idiot. It was all made worthwhile when after finishing the dessert I got up to leave and turned to look at her an it was a genuine smile and thank you she lipped. I am now in my hotel room fuming I never banjoe'd the arsehole. Did the American at the next table order the Waldorf salad? 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Derry Alli Posted March 5 Share Posted March 5 1 hour ago, Swarley said: Did the American at the next table order the Waldorf salad? I don't understand this. I went back for breakfast this morning. It was a wee old woman who upon saying my room number told me I was getting a full Scottish breakfast. Not all bad - apart from you usually get to decide what you want. I'm feeling uneasy about tonight already. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DA Baracus Posted March 5 Share Posted March 5 I never tip. But that's because I never go to restaurants. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coprolite Posted March 5 Share Posted March 5 16 hours ago, Derry Alli said: Me getting older and less patient for shite or people in power abusing it. I've just left a restaurant where I was the only diner and the young waitress was having a chat with me and head bozo comes out and basically pulls her away. Then decides he wants to come and chat with me (the thing I heard him have a go at her about). He gets rubbered and storms off. He's back two minutes later where I decide to give him a chance - he then begins to pester every few minutes and gets asked to let me try the untouched plate before asking if it's any good. I shit you not he opens a cupboard door and peeks through the hinge side at me eat then asks if the foods okay. I burst out laughing and asked for a napkin. He then goes and has a go at the waitress for not having g my room number. She does, she says 519 he tells her to go make sure so I shout 519. She smiles and says thank you. He storms off. I'm around a corner remember! I finish my pasta - which I eat with the only spoon - he notices this on one of his 5000 walks past my table and goes to have a go at her again. At this point my tattie goes. I politely inform him she's doing a fucking excellent job. Even more so under the constant pressure he's addi g to the situation. Tell him to calm the fück down or I will walk and most importantly she probably will quit the first chance she gets. He starts mumbling about a dessert spoon and I just pick it out the bowl and say "this one? The one I just used to eat pasta with because I refuse to chase penne pasta around a bowl with mince using a fork?" Again, we are half a restaurant apart. He's peeking round this corner. She somehow felt the need to apologise for me using the spoon, I told her it's not necessary gave her her tip and told her I'm sorry she has to work with such an idiot. It was all made worthwhile when after finishing the dessert I got up to leave and turned to look at her an it was a genuine smile and thank you she lipped. I am now in my hotel room fuming I never banjoe'd the arsehole. Unbelievable. Eating penne with a spoon ffs. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swarley Posted March 5 Share Posted March 5 48 minutes ago, Derry Alli said: I don't understand this. Fawlty Towers? No? I'll get me coat. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swarley Posted March 5 Share Posted March 5 Home & Contents insurance renewal notice received today. Premium has increased 25% on last year. If I didn't work for the company providing the cover I'd be fucking furious. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted March 5 Share Posted March 5 (edited) 9 hours ago, Hedgecutter said: I had a similar experience once, although I ended up having what felt like a date across the table with the waitress. Far preferable to having her lingering around just for me. Was a midweek effort and there was nobody else the entire time. PTTGOYN for me though is when waiting staff insist on doing every little thing for you, e.g. pouring drinks with a hand behind their back, despite me saying they don't need to bother. I just find that whole servant thing a bit archaic and uncomfortable. The nightclub toilet guys who evidently think you can't wash your hands on your own take the biscuit though. My wife loves that "5 star" attention and books holidays and weekends away where she thinks it'll happen. I generally last about 5 minutes before I'm shifting awkwardly and internally screaming "gonnae fūck off, I'm trying to eat"! Edited March 5 by Sergeant Wilson 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Newbornbairn Posted March 5 Share Posted March 5 32 minutes ago, Sergeant Wilson said: My wife loves that "5 star" attention and books holidays and weekends away where she thinks it'll happen. I generally last about 5 minutes before I'm shifting awkward!y and internally screaming "gonnae fūck off, I'm trying to eat"! Isn't that normal with your wife? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tamthebam Posted March 5 Share Posted March 5 9 hours ago, Hedgecutter said: I had a similar experience once, although I ended up having what felt like a date across the table with the waitress. Far preferable to having her lingering around just for me. Was a midweek effort and there was nobody else the entire time. I went home with a waitress, the way I always do. How was I to know she was with the Russians too? I was gambling in Havana and I took a little risk. Send lawyers, guns and money, dad, get me out of this. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GordonD Posted March 5 Share Posted March 5 11 hours ago, Hedgecutter said: The nightclub toilet guys who evidently think you can't wash your hands on your own take the biscuit though. Yeah, I had that experience in the gents' at Albion Rovers once. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Derry Alli Posted March 5 Share Posted March 5 You'll all be glad to know tonight went without any hiccup or arguing. The guy was there, the girl wasn't. It started off with him moaning at the young boy for putting ice in my water without asking first but I heard the boy say "He said ice please". He then become Barry Ferguson and wanted to answer every phonecard and greet every customer walking in and then it happened.. the OG walked in. Walked across to me and said nice to see you again. I said it's brilliant to see a familiar face and my anxiety died down. Thon boy took a back seat too with the familiar face back. Grilled chicken breast fajita style. Was lovely. This now ends my restaurant fracas I assume. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
carpetmonster Posted March 5 Share Posted March 5 27 minutes ago, Derry Alli said: You'll all be glad to know tonight went without any hiccup or arguing. The guy was there, the girl wasn't. It started off with him moaning at the young boy for putting ice in my water without asking first but I heard the boy say "He said ice please". He then become Barry Ferguson and wanted to answer every phonecard and greet every customer walking in and then it happened.. the OG walked in. Walked across to me and said nice to see you again. I said it's brilliant to see a familiar face and my anxiety died down. Thon boy took a back seat too with the familiar face back. Grilled chicken breast fajita style. Was lovely. This now ends my restaurant fracas I assume. How old is your phone that it's got 'phonecard' in its autocorrect dictionary mate? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Derry Alli Posted March 5 Share Posted March 5 (edited) 35 minutes ago, carpetmonster said: How old is your phone that it's got 'phonecard' in its autocorrect dictionary mate? Christmas knows, it's a work phone smashed into pieces. Can barely read the top third of it. Throws up some crackers tbf. Edit : see, Christmas knows! Edited March 5 by Derry Alli 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
carpetmonster Posted March 5 Share Posted March 5 4 minutes ago, Derry Alli said: Christmas knows, it's a work phone smashed into pieces. Can barely read the top third of it. Throws up some crackers tbf. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted March 5 Share Posted March 5 8 hours ago, coprolite said: Unbelievable. Eating penne with a spoon ffs. We’re obviously just letting this slide then. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miguel Sanchez Posted March 5 Share Posted March 5 13 minutes ago, Melanius Mullarkey said: We’re obviously just letting this slide then. Bold move for a man with your pasta & mince eating proclivities to even hint at criticising anyone else tbqhwy. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swarley Posted March 6 Share Posted March 6 Cnuts who walk in the middle of the pavement and don't move to the side to let you pass. Cnuts who order takeaway food/coffee then immediately stand at the collection point blocking everyone from collecting their orders. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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