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Petty Things That Get On Your Nerves...


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When you're sitting in a public toilet as I am right now, (there's an image for you), you're in the end cubicle in a row of 6 empty cubicles and the next faecal excreter comes in and chooses the trap right next to you. There should be a law against it.

Same goes with urinals. For the uninitiated here is the unwritten rule: Imagine you walk into an empty toilet and are faced with 7 urinals...you are obliged to choose a urinal at either end. The next guy in then slashes in the urinal at the other end. 3rd guy in chooses middle urinal, etc. If you break this sequence you are immediately suspected of being one of those weird sideways boaby glancers and deserve any hostility directed towards you.

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When you're sitting in a public toilet as I am right now, (there's an image for you), you're in the end cubicle in a row of 6 empty cubicles and the next faecal excreter comes in and chooses the trap right next to you. There should be a law against it.

Same goes with urinals. For the uninitiated here is the unwritten rule: Imagine you walk into an empty toilet and are faced with 7 urinals...you are obliged to choose a urinal at either end. The next guy in then slashes in the urinal at the other end. 3rd guy in chooses middle urinal, etc. If you break this sequence you are immediately suspected of being one of those weird sideways boaby glancers and deserve any hostility directed towards you.

urinals.jpg

^^^ Just regardless of the situation. No exceptions.

Worst ones in cubicles are the lingerers. You'll go in and they'll sit there as quiet as anything, waiting for you to do your thing and leave first. Usually you can faintly make out a series of plops as soon as you turn on the hand-drier.

Recently I flushed the toilet just after the other guy had and he just quickly banged open the door and fled the bathroom without washing his hands, simply so nobody would know he'd scandalously been for a shite. Mink.

Edited by Hedgecutter
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urinals.jpg

^^^ Just regardless of the situation. No exceptions.

Worst ones in cubicles are the lingerers. You'll go in and they'll sit there as quiet as anything, waiting for you to do your thing and leave first. Usually you can faintly make out a series of plops as soon as you turn on the hand-drier.

Recently I flushed the toilet just after the other guy had and he just quickly banged open the door and fled the bathroom without washing his hands, simply so nobody would know he'd scandalously been for a shite. Mink.

Months ago at work, someone came in and used the trap next to me. I was nearly finished and I think they thought they were on their own. On sitting down they let out one of those epic, amplified by the bowl, rippers at which point I burst out laughing and in a posh english accent said "Speak up, Brown, you're through".

I had time to wash my hands and return to my desk and watch for the culprit to come out looking sheepish 5 minutes later.

I'm a child.

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I've had that before. Its the grunt followed by the trumpetesque howitzers that get me. Some Chinese geezer was in the cubicle next to me at Uni unleashing these absolute depth charges in between having hugely loud telephone conversations. Sitting trying not laugh and have a shit at the same time is not easy.

Edited by JamboMikey
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c***s that "like" pictures on Facebook of either deformed children or people with cancer, with the heading "like if you wish cancer didn't exist"

f**k off please, that's something I don't need to see when on my lunch.

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When arguing with family, you take a supposed 'safe' route and calmly walk away only for a flurry of phone calls asking where u are going. I want peace to calm down and not say something I may regret.

Also, are the people of Rosyth always ignorant idiots? Was doing a few deliveries there today and they were all dourfaced cnuts .

It's not my fault you ordered something two weeks ago and that's it just arriving. I can only deliver what I have on the van .

And breathe :)

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When arguing with family, you take a supposed 'safe' route and calmly walk away only for a flurry of phone calls asking where u are going. I want peace to calm down and not say something I may regret.

Also, are the people of Rosyth always ignorant idiots? Was doing a few deliveries there today and they were all dourfaced cnuts .

It's not my fault you ordered something two weeks ago and that's it just arriving. I can only deliver what I have on the van .

And breathe :)

Someone needs a Wowwy Pop.

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Zen, Jimmy, honestly, it was surreal. I was also in Dunfermline and Inverkeeking today and they were far better.

Infact, I was in a particular part of Inverkeeking and there was a street with a few shops (including a Stephens bakery) that looked like an atomic bomb had hit it. Rough as f**k is the best I can describe it.

Even better is that the 'shows' are on the 'High Street'. Is that normal ?

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I was in a particular part of Inverkeeking and there was a street with a few shops (including a Stephens bakery) that looked like an atomic bomb had hit it. Rough as f**k is the best I can describe it.

Even better is that the 'shows' are on the 'High Street'. Is that normal ?

Inverkeithing is a dump as well to be fair and it absolutely reeks of shite all the time.

its a s***hole although I do like baynes bakers and when going on shire away trips its has the closest train station to queensferry to get a train to dundee or aberdeen

for trains to montrose or elgin

which comes to ask why have 3 bakers in one street ? stephens, greggs and baynes

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Zen, Jimmy, honestly, it was surreal. I was also in Dunfermline and Inverkeeking today and they were far better.

Infact, I was in a particular part of Inverkeeking and there was a street with a few shops (including a Stephens bakery) that looked like an atomic bomb had hit it. Rough as f**k is the best I can describe it.

Even better is that the 'shows' are on the 'High Street'. Is that normal ?

This is the Lammas weekend c/w the Highland Games, also the Hat and Ribbon race, hence the eponymous Hat and 'Rat' pub.

With regards to your post apocalyptic observations, the place is fine, enhanced with the presence of the Zen.

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Same goes with urinals. For the uninitiated here is the unwritten rule: Imagine you walk into an empty toilet and are faced with 7 urinals...you are obliged to choose a urinal at either end. The next guy in then slashes in the urinal at the other end. 3rd guy in chooses middle urinal, etc. If you break this sequence you are immediately suspected of being one of those weird sideways boaby glancers and deserve any hostility directed towards you.

urinal-checkmate.jpg

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