Smurph Posted June 10, 2013 Share Posted June 10, 2013 At long last, shitting stories meets shagging stories. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
weirdcal Posted June 10, 2013 Share Posted June 10, 2013 That might be the subject of a new thread in the Perv forum. "So I took a dump on my girlfriend....." Sent from my GT-I9100 using Pie & Bovril mobile app I think if he did the prefix 'ex' would appear before girlfriend. I he goes down this route.. Handcuff her first. Sent from ma phone using Pie & Bovril mobile app 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adam Posted June 11, 2013 Share Posted June 11, 2013 Yesterday I was at the Inch with some pals and was told not to drink much by my girlfriend since we had to go shopping. I then got told I wasn't allowed out as she can't drink because of her diet and because I needed to drive the next day. I accepted this to be nice to her. Today she asked me to go jogging, at 7 at night, just as I had put on Football Manager. I said no..... She said what about tomorrow..... I said maybe, it depends when I finish...... She's now in bed, fuming at me, telling me I'm a horrible boyfriend, that I'm incredibly selfish and that I never do anything to help. I'll never understand women or myself. Never She sounds like an absolute ramjet. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sweet Pete Posted June 11, 2013 Share Posted June 11, 2013 She sounds like an absolute ramjet. But then given the poster you quoted, it's highly likely that he's just made the whole thing up. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaz Posted June 11, 2013 Share Posted June 11, 2013 At long last, shitting stories meets shagging stories. It's not before time. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgecutter Posted June 11, 2013 Share Posted June 11, 2013 Accidentally opening packets of crisps upside down. Shouldn't make a difference, but it does. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
broon-loon Posted June 11, 2013 Share Posted June 11, 2013 Mentioned earlier, Driving Licence renewal fees (and the medical fee for keeping my HGV part on it). Total rip off.. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lanky_ffc Posted June 11, 2013 Share Posted June 11, 2013 We got told to dress down for work today as there's G8 protests in London and they're targetting financial institutions. I took this to mean no suits or ties and just wore my normal trousers and shirt. Arrived here and the majority are wearing jeans and polos/t-shirts. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgecutter Posted June 12, 2013 Share Posted June 12, 2013 When you're walking down the pavement and the person coming the other way needlessly changes their direction straight at you (even if there's nobody else there), initiating a needless standoff. It's usually women dare I say it, absolutely no time-distance sense. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgecutter Posted June 12, 2013 Share Posted June 12, 2013 The pavement disco does my tits in. There was even one time where I just broke eye contact with some woman, stepped aside against a wall (standing still) to let her by and the fat bint tried to squeeze between me and the wall. She then had the cheek to wander off muttering "FFS". She's probably stuck wedged by a bin or something just now. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
philpy Posted June 12, 2013 Share Posted June 12, 2013 Folk that chuck fag ends in your garden. Tell you what, the next time I'm having a drink, I'll just chuck my empty bottles in your garden. Disgusting fuckwits. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
broon-loon Posted June 12, 2013 Share Posted June 12, 2013 Been up since 4am. I need some matchsticks pronto. You seem like a cultured kinda loon... surely mere matchsticks winnae work. Will this dae instead ..? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Granny Danger Posted June 12, 2013 Share Posted June 12, 2013 You seem like a cultured kinda loon... surely mere matchsticks winnae work. Will this dae instead ..? I thought you would have recommended some Benzo! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
invergowrie arab Posted June 12, 2013 Share Posted June 12, 2013 i have never in my life spent more than 60 seconds checking in at an airport or usimg a cashpoint. wtf is wrang wi folk spending about 5-10 minutes doing either 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
broon-loon Posted June 12, 2013 Share Posted June 12, 2013 You seem like a cultured kinda loon... surely mere matchsticks winnae work. Will this dae instead ..? I thought you would have recommended some Benzo! Michty Granny, there's a big difference between keeping awake and a rude awakening.... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raidernation Posted June 13, 2013 Share Posted June 13, 2013 No sleep since I got up at 5am Monday...........................................crash is coming. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark Connolly Posted June 13, 2013 Share Posted June 13, 2013 "Reporters" who don't do any research, or make obivous errors - David Currie on the BBC news just told us there are 3 new caps in the Scotland rugby team for their first summer test on Saturday. Much as I'd like to forget it, we played Samoa last week. Also, David Currie. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sjc Posted June 13, 2013 Share Posted June 13, 2013 "Reporters" who don't do any research, or make obivous errors - David Currie on the BBC news just told us there are 3 new caps in the Scotland rugby team for their first summer test on Saturday. Much as I'd like to forget it, we played Samoa last week. Also, David Currie. In fairness "little or no research" is par for the course for pretty much ALL our media outlets up here! Sent from my GT-N7000 using Pie & Bovril mobile app 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Granny Danger Posted June 13, 2013 Share Posted June 13, 2013 The thing that really gets on my nerves is the next poster. He's a complete arsehole. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tinkerbelle Posted June 13, 2013 Share Posted June 13, 2013 Love it when you talk dirty to me 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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