Swarley Posted July 10, 2014 Share Posted July 10, 2014 I don't like where this is going.I'm up, as the vicar said to the nun, what did I miss? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bert Raccoon Posted July 10, 2014 Share Posted July 10, 2014 Went up to the bedroom earlier and smelled burning. Thought the missus had been having a sly fag but when I got into the bedroom I noticed my curtains were the ones smoking. The fucking sun had been reflecting off a mirror and melted a line through the b*****d curtains. See picture below. ImageUploadedByPie & Bovril1405022241.617243.jpg ^^^^homophobe. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sjc Posted July 10, 2014 Share Posted July 10, 2014 Yes, she does. But her being a tramp is the reason I'm with her. I thought it was the lady and the tramp? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
broon-loon Posted July 10, 2014 Share Posted July 10, 2014 Went up to the bedroom earlier and smelled burning. Thought the missus had been having a sly fag but when I got into the bedroom I noticed my curtains were the ones smoking. The fucking sun had been reflecting off a mirror and melted a line through the b*****d curtains. See picture below. ImageUploadedByPie & Bovril1405022241.617243.jpg You're a dead cert' for being the next Harry Potter on this evidence Mozza... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heedthebaa Posted July 10, 2014 Share Posted July 10, 2014 Ma fucking birthday and not one fucking well wish off ye ya cuntz -1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted July 10, 2014 Share Posted July 10, 2014 Ma fucking birthday and not one fucking well wish off ye ya cuntz f**k off ya auld p***k. Many happy returns as well. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SweeperDee Posted July 10, 2014 Share Posted July 10, 2014 Ma fucking birthday and not one fucking well wish off ye ya cuntz Happy Birthday! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swarley Posted July 11, 2014 Share Posted July 11, 2014 Ma fucking birthday and not one fucking well wish off ye ya cuntzHiya Yaya, hiya pal 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shotgun Posted July 11, 2014 Share Posted July 11, 2014 Then you have the folk that do use the crossings, press the button but cant wait for the light to go green and scoot accross, then when the lights change the traffic has to stop while there is nobody there to cross Run the fuckers over. It's the only way they'll learn. Except if it's me. I do it sometimes. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgecutter Posted July 11, 2014 Share Posted July 11, 2014 (edited) Pushing the button because there seems to be no alternative way across the road only for a way across to present itself afterwards is an additional annoyance on the pedestrian side. On a slightly related note: I frequently have to cross a 30mph limit dual carriageway (at a designated crossing without lights) which can take ages to find a really decent gap (like 5-10 mins), hence you need to have a firm grasp of the whole distance-time-speed go-for-it thing. What happens though is you'll get people in one lane that try to be nice by suddenly slowing ever so slightly for you but do it half arsed and don't make it obvious that it's safe to cross, blowing a rare opportunity that would otherwise be there. Are you really willing to let me stand in front of you in this lane to wait two minutes for the other lane to clear whilst stopping everything behind you? Sometimes if you don't take up the offer they'll even give you the look of "well thanks for wasting 5 secs of my life you f****** c***" look too. Very similar to 4-way diagonal pedestrian crossings where somebody will just stop and f*** up the whole operation for everyone else because they can no longer judge where the gaps will appear. Almost always a woman too. Is time-space coordination something many are just born without completely??? Edited July 11, 2014 by Hedgecutter 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lichtie23 Posted July 11, 2014 Share Posted July 11, 2014 T in the Park and all the chat about people either going or wishing they were going. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WeAreElgin Posted July 11, 2014 Share Posted July 11, 2014 People greetin about being sunburnt. You'd think after looking like a lobster for the last 10 summers they'd have learnt their lesson, but apparently not. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Granny Danger Posted July 11, 2014 Share Posted July 11, 2014 People greetin about being sunburnt. You'd think after looking like a lobster for the last 10 summers they'd have learnt their lesson, but apparently not. We are a nation of lobster-red greeting faces. It's one of the endearing things of Scottishness. On September 18, vote YES. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted July 11, 2014 Share Posted July 11, 2014 People greetin about being sunburnt. You'd think after looking like a lobster for the last 10 summers they'd have learnt their lesson, but apparently not. The school and works holidays are designed for the time before foreign travel was available to most. They should change the school holidays to Spring and/or Autumn. The Med is an insane place to go to in July and August. All the locals want to escape to Greenland. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WeAreElgin Posted July 11, 2014 Share Posted July 11, 2014 We are a nation of lobster-red greeting faces. It's one of the endearing things of Scottishness. On September 18, vote YES. I mustn't be scottish then, I've been lying to everyone 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted July 12, 2014 Share Posted July 12, 2014 TalkTalk are probably the worst company I've ever had to deal with, terrible customer service and a nightmare to switch from. Avoid them like the plague. In my defence, I was a Tiscali customer from back in the BT LineOne days, and was inherited by TalkTalk after the buyout. The service didn't change, so I haven't had cause to get in touch with them until the past year. Tiscali sorted out a line problem at a previous address pretty quickly; TalkTalk couldn't give less of a shit, so long as the direct debit goes through every month. Only other contact I've had with TalkTalk since they took over has been the almost daily cold calls and mailshots asking me to sign up for a two year contract for the same service at an increased price. Which, they insist, is less than I'm currently paying. Exactly how stupid do they think I am? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted July 12, 2014 Share Posted July 12, 2014 Went up to the bedroom earlier and smelled burning. Thought the missus had been having a sly fag but when I got into the bedroom I noticed my curtains were the ones smoking. The fucking sun had been reflecting off a mirror and melted a line through the b*****d curtains. See picture below. ImageUploadedByPie & Bovril1405022241.617243.jpg Fucking hell! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted July 12, 2014 Share Posted July 12, 2014 On the subject of pedestrians crossing the road, the crossing outside the bus station in Stirling used to be quality. Press the button, and the lights would change IMMEDIATELY. Evil b*****ds like myself would take great pleasure at the panic from speeding traffic Was like that for years too. Also, be grateful for our pedestrian crossings. I used to live in Arizona, and crossings are put in as an afterthought, purely because jaywalking is illegal. I never found a crossing that gave anything like enough time to make it across the road, even if you sprinted, and traffic considered you a target if you were still there when the lights changed, The message is very much that you've no business travelling anywhere on foot. And I used to cross the entrance to a freeway on the way home every day - a set of three different crossing lights. It literally took a minimum of half an hour just to cross this small section of road. Yes, I used to time it; didn't have a whole lot else to do while baking in 40C heat, waiting for lights to change. OK, I'm done. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shotgun Posted July 12, 2014 Share Posted July 12, 2014 Where in Arizona did you live BFTD? I served a 9 year sentence in Phoenix. It was common there to see driver's eyes get really big at the shock of finding a pedestrian in a pedestrian crossing. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest The Phoenix Posted July 12, 2014 Share Posted July 12, 2014 Went up to the bedroom earlier and smelled burning. Thought the missus had been having a sly fag but when I got into the bedroom I noticed my curtains were the ones smoking. The fucking sun had been reflecting off a mirror and melted a line through the b*****d curtains. See picture below. ImageUploadedByPie & Bovril1405022241.617243.jpg TBF, justice will only be done when whoever bought those curtains is burned at the stake. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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