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Petty Things That Get On Your Nerves...


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I'm making a power point presentation for work just now and I've added lots of funny pictures and fancy fonts. :(

It's all about the animations. A combination of numerous 'fly ins' from all angles is all that's required now to make it fantastic.

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It's all about the animations. A combination of numerous 'fly ins' from all angles is all that's required now to make it fantastic.

I've got a wee Superman flying across one slide. I'm not going to lie, it looks fucking outstanding.

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Putting hundreds of words on PowerPoint slides, before reading them all out loud to an audience, is the mark of an idiot who has no idea how stupid he/she actually.

no, sending it round for you to read first and then deciding to read it out to you word for sodding word and then asking why your team is behind in its daily work less than an hour later.

oh and *comic SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANS*

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Listen up. I know the shit you’ve been saying behind my back. You think I’m stupid. You think I’m immature. You think I’m a malformed, pathetic excuse for a font. Well think again, nerdhole, because I’m Comic Sans, and I’m the best thing to happen to typography since Johannes fucking Gutenberg.

You don’t like that your coworker used me on that note about stealing her yogurt from the break room fridge? You don’t like that I’m all over your sister-in-law’s blog? You don’t like that I’m on the sign for that new Thai place? You think I’m pedestrian and tacky? Guess the f**k what, Picasso. We don’t all have seventy-three weights of stick-up-my-ass Helvetica sitting on our seventeen-inch MacBook Pros. Sorry the entire world can’t all be done in stark Eurotrash Swiss type. Sorry some people like to have fun. Sorry I’m standing in the way of your minimalist Bauhaus-esque fascist snoozefest. Maybe sometime you should take off your black turtleneck, stop compulsively adjusting your Tumblr theme, and lighten the f**k up for once.

People love me. Why? Because I’m fun. I’m the life of the party. I bring levity to any situation. Need to soften the blow of a harsh message about restroom etiquette? SLAM. There I am. Need to spice up the directions to your graduation party? WHAM. There again. Need to convey your fun-loving, approachable nature on your business’ website? SMACK. Like daffodils in motherfucking spring.

When people need to kick back, have fun, and party, I will be there, unlike your pathetic fonts. While Gotham is at the science fair, I’m banging the prom queen behind the woodshop. While Avenir is practicing the clarinet, I’m shredding “Reign In Blood” on my double-necked Stratocaster. While Univers is refilling his allergy prescriptions, I’m racing my tricked-out, nitrous-laden Honda Civic against Tokyo gangsters who’ll kill me if I don’t cross the finish line first. I am a sans serif Superman and my only kryptonite is pretentious buzzkills like you.

It doesn’t even matter what you think. You know why, jagoff? Cause I’m famous. I am on every major operating system since Microsoft fucking Bob. I’m in your signs. I’m in your browsers. I’m in your instant messengers. I’m not just a font. I am a force of motherfucking nature and I will not rest until every uptight armchair typographer cock-hat like you is surrounded by my lovable, comic-book inspired, sans-serif badassery.

Enough of this bullshit. I’m gonna go get hammered with Papyrus.

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I should probably mention that those with dyslexia are allowed to used Comic SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANS in university submissions in certain circumstances as some studies have shown that it is easier for them to read and type in.

It's still a right wanky font though.

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Despite the fact we have all heard it a billion times, some fannies still sing the dah-dah-dah bit of 500 Miles after the first verse.

I heard this at the 7's and this was even with the words on the screens.
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Programs that don't auto-save.

You've been typing for ages (in Comic Sans, like a pro, natch), and need to Ctrl+C a chunk of your text into another program. Like a fud, you forget to save first, and your finger slips to 'V'.

Dog kicked, bairns skelped, keyboard oot the windae :angry:

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