banana Posted January 29, 2015 Share Posted January 29, 2015 I feel the rise of the effeminate male in society has led to the standard in snowball throwing techniques plummet dramatically. Today I watched a group of high school kids throw shoddily made snowballs at the back of each other's jackets which fell apart before they had even made impact then run away screaming in delight like little girls. Get the fucking thing compacted until it's almost solid ice then get it full force in your mates face you bunch of nancy boys. No gravel mixed in? Stone in the middle? Fkin lightweight. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dee Man Posted January 29, 2015 Share Posted January 29, 2015 No gravel mixed in? Stone in the middle? Fkin lightweight. I used to spray paint a lump of granite white and throw it but I didn't want to come across as overly violent. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted January 29, 2015 Share Posted January 29, 2015 Before bed, the wean informed me that he doesn't love me anymore, apropos of nothing. He's 8, FFS. The teenage years are starting a bit early. It'll be "I HATE YOU!!!" any day now 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1320Lichtie Posted January 29, 2015 Share Posted January 29, 2015 I agree with Deeboy. Yer a good lad BFTD. Don't let him bring you down m8. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted January 29, 2015 Share Posted January 29, 2015 Wow, this has happened a couple of times lately. Genuinely touched. Where's the Sarge to call me a c**t? The wean just arrived back down for a tearful apology and a quick game of Zombie Prom, so all's well 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted January 29, 2015 Share Posted January 29, 2015 Wow, this has happened a couple of times lately. Genuinely touched. Where's the Sarge to call me a c**t? The wean just arrived back down for a tearful apology and a quick game of Zombie Prom, so all's well Look at it from his point of view. Alternatively send the wee p***k to live with his granny. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bert Raccoon Posted January 29, 2015 Share Posted January 29, 2015 Found a really nice mans ring in a wee dark alley once, seemed like no fucker was around so I pocketed it. Heard some auld battleaxe dragon shouting at me as I walked away saying it was hers so I bolted, lol. Gave it to my nephew a few years later, though his scheme goblin 'mate' aye seemed to have his eye on it. He kept getting chased by some guys on horses so he had it melted down in the end. Didn't see his 'mate' hanging around him after that, unsurprisingly. Reminds me of the Clive sketches from Monkey Dust. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted January 29, 2015 Share Posted January 29, 2015 Look at it from his point of view. Alternatively send the wee p***k to live with his granny. Near enough 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KnightswoodBear Posted January 29, 2015 Share Posted January 29, 2015 (edited) Reminds me of the Clive sketches from Monkey Dust. That was my thoughts exactly. I mind trying to explain those sketches, and Monkey Dust in general to someone without the aid of YouTube. They looked at me like I was trying to get them to watch a snuff film. MD was utterly horrific and hilarious at the same time. Edited January 29, 2015 by KnightswoodBear 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bert Raccoon Posted January 29, 2015 Share Posted January 29, 2015 That was my thoughts exactly. I mind trying to explain those sketches, and Monkey Dust in general to someone without the aid of YouTube. They looked at me like I was trying to get them to watch a snuff film. MD was utterly horrific and hilarious at the same time. One of those gems that really didn't get as much exposure as it should considering BBC3 's later forays into "comedy" 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smurph Posted January 29, 2015 Share Posted January 29, 2015 I loved Monkey Dust. Got the season 1 DVD in the house. Timmy visits Daddy was genuinely heartbreaking. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bert Raccoon Posted January 29, 2015 Share Posted January 29, 2015 I loved Monkey Dust. Got the season 1 DVD in the house. Timmy visits Daddy was genuinely heartbreaking. Extremely grim. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgecutter Posted January 30, 2015 Share Posted January 30, 2015 Programmes showing folk hunting about for houses who end up saying "well, it's really nice but I just don't think I could leave my family behind". That's great love. Even worse, folk who think that selling their small SE England flat will let them afford a large luxury villa complete with outdoor pool and cliff top sea view in some sub-tropical foreign country. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oddly optomistic Posted January 30, 2015 Share Posted January 30, 2015 Or the same folk who see a mansion complete with 50 bedrooms with ensuite swimming pools, gold lavvys and 1000 acres of land but then say, "Its nice, but it doesnt have a helipad". What u got against helipads? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted January 30, 2015 Share Posted January 30, 2015 Programmes showing folk hunting about for houses who end up saying "well, it's really nice but I just don't think I could leave my family behind". That's great love. Fair play to them for blagging a free holiday though. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sweet Pete Posted January 30, 2015 Share Posted January 30, 2015 Or the same folk who see a mansion complete with 50 bedrooms with ensuite swimming pools, gold lavvys and 1000 acres of land but then say, "Its nice, but it doesnt have a helipad". Saw one once where the couple were internet millionaires and had a ridiculous list of necessities for their house. Phil whatshisface managed to find them one that had the number of rooms they wanted, in the area they wanted, with the converted barn turned office they wanted and close to the local private airfield that they wanted and within their budget, but the wife turned it down because "it only has one road in and out, I'd get bored driving the same way all the time" 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
50/50 Winner Posted January 30, 2015 Share Posted January 30, 2015 Milk. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KnightswoodBear Posted January 30, 2015 Share Posted January 30, 2015 Saw one once where the couple were internet millionaires and had a ridiculous list of necessities for their house. Phil whatshisface managed to find them one that had the number of rooms they wanted, in the area they wanted, with the converted barn turned office they wanted and close to the local private airfield that they wanted and within their budget, but the wife turned it down because "it only has one road in and out, I'd get bored driving the same way all the time" My missus is friends with a lassie who was a producer on Location, Location, Location. apparently Phil is a lovely guy and Kirsty is a total cow. Proper boot in the pie material. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sweet Pete Posted January 30, 2015 Share Posted January 30, 2015 My missus is friends with a lassie who was a producer on Location, Location, Location. apparently Phil is a lovely guy and Kirsty is a total cow. Proper boot in the pie material. They come across exactly like that on the programme, so it doesn't surprise me. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
D.A.F.C Posted January 30, 2015 Share Posted January 30, 2015 It's always the same, old rich couple look for a house with too many bedrooms for their needs. Wife is a moaning fussy cow who needs a gigantic kitchen and guy wants a big shed for man stuff. Never buy anything. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.