BFTD Posted January 25, 2015 Share Posted January 25, 2015 When my wife calls me on the landline and gets and engaged tone in the full knowledge that I'm in the house on my own, and then decides to ring me on my mobile. Old Mumsnet trick. She's checking to see if you're really in the house and not out looking for strange. Prepare to be met with a dossier of all the times you didn't answer the landline and were out "with that hoor". 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted January 25, 2015 Share Posted January 25, 2015 Behave yourself man, she's still in good shape, it's pretty obvious she still looks after herself and keeps fit. And I reckon she'd definitely use he talents and be pure filth! We all know there's only one answer to this. Get her shipped off to Zen and he'll fill us all in on the details. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted January 25, 2015 Share Posted January 25, 2015 The Esso garage at Bainsford in Falkirk has a wee fucking rodent of a man working in it and his whole vibe just gets on my nerves. A horrid little cretin with a chip on his shoulder with the world, a vile attitude and absolutely hates his job. You can tell he's a work-shy wee b*****d though and that's why he works in the garage - just because he needs to work. The Clubcard scanner is always 'broken' when he's working too ETA: And any man aged around 50 with highlights in his hair - Get a fucking grip! Anyone willing to guess who he posts as on P&B? Probably not Miley, and I've never been to Bainsford and have never had highlights. I can't even imagine what that would look like on a middle-aged man 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted January 25, 2015 Share Posted January 25, 2015 "Vegetarian" haggis, is not actually haggis. We accidentally had one once to show a visiting American relative what haggis tastes like. Didn't realise 'til afterwards that it was vegetarian, so it must've been a particularly good one. Sort of amusing that she specifically asked to try the sort of haggis that's banned in the US and we couldn't even get that right 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted January 25, 2015 Share Posted January 25, 2015 (edited) Zelda from the Terrahawks Well played. My exposure to Jo Whiley is limited, but I'd be happy to buy her a Créme de Methe and see how the evening progressed. Edit: In fairness to her, a'body loved John Peel as the Beeb's premier youth talent scout, and he was at it until he was 65. Steady, BEASTwatchers. Edited January 25, 2015 by BigFatTabbyDave 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bobby Skidmarks Posted January 25, 2015 Share Posted January 25, 2015 People who can't multiquote. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Widge Posted January 25, 2015 Share Posted January 25, 2015 People who can't multiquote. Tbf if you're on the app, you can't. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
19QOS19 Posted January 25, 2015 Share Posted January 25, 2015 People who can't multiquote. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
19QOS19 Posted January 25, 2015 Share Posted January 25, 2015 Tbf if you're on the app, you can't. ^^^ What he said! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted January 25, 2015 Share Posted January 25, 2015 So would I. But I'd pour it on her face and set fire to it. Fair enough. Bacardi Breezers instead? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
50/50 Winner Posted January 25, 2015 Share Posted January 25, 2015 Whilst I was sitting in Morrison's cafe at work today (I don't work there I was supporting a lady with learning difficulties) I saw a guy wearing one of those hands free earpiece things. I can't explain why they annoy me but every time I see somebody wearing one I want to rip it out of their ear. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted January 25, 2015 Share Posted January 25, 2015 Cheers Dave. I'll have a ruby grapefruit. A delightful evening lies ahead. For clarity, I'll slip out the back door when I hear you say the word "gemütlich". 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted January 25, 2015 Share Posted January 25, 2015 I was supporting a lady with learning difficultiesDid she Win? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
50/50 Winner Posted January 25, 2015 Share Posted January 25, 2015 Did she Win? Aye, 6-5 on penalties. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigMartyn86 Posted January 25, 2015 Share Posted January 25, 2015 (edited) James Horncastle. The utter c**t of a presenter on bt sport. Anyone who has the cheek to moan about Adrian Chiles has never endured this c**t. Edited January 25, 2015 by BigMartyn86 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigMartyn86 Posted January 25, 2015 Share Posted January 25, 2015 Channel hopping and stopped on STV Glasgow. Some hipster barman was calling himself a "mixologist" as he made a cocktail. f**k off and take your fucking bow tie with you ya c**t. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shotgun Posted January 25, 2015 Share Posted January 25, 2015 Channel hopping and stopped on STV Glasgow. Some hipster barman was calling himself a "mixologist" as he made a cocktail. f**k off and take your fucking bow tie with you ya c**t. Nobody's a barman anymore, or even a bartender - they're all mixologists. If you can squirt soda water into a glass of shitty whisky and remember the ingredients of a martini, you're a mixologist. A little like how there's no such thing as a secretary any more; they're all "Personal Assistants". Bleh. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigMartyn86 Posted January 25, 2015 Share Posted January 25, 2015 Nobody's a barman anymore, or even a bartender - they're all mixologists. If you can squirt soda water into a glass of shitty whisky and remember the ingredients of a martini, you're a mixologist. A little like how there's no such thing as a secretary any more; they're all "Personal Assistants". Bleh. I've just remembered when I was walking to the EasyHotel in Glasgow last month I walked past a pub labelling itself as a "drinkmonger" 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RoversMad Posted January 25, 2015 Share Posted January 25, 2015 Tbf if you're on the app, you can't. People who can't multiquote. ^^^ What he said! yes you can 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgecutter Posted January 25, 2015 Share Posted January 25, 2015 People who can't multiquote. Tbf if you're on the app, you can't. ^^^ Done using my mobile app. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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