Swampy Posted October 27, 2006 Share Posted October 27, 2006 Seen the "close talker" episode of Seinfeld? With Judge Reinhold in? If not, you should. Season 5, Episode 18, if you wanna download it or something. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Half A Person Posted October 27, 2006 Share Posted October 27, 2006 Seen the "close talker" episode of Seinfeld? With Judge Reinhold in? If not, you should. Season 5, Episode 18, if you wanna download it or something. I will do. Cheers! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SaintSam Posted October 27, 2006 Share Posted October 27, 2006 Having worked in one form of customer service or another for nigh on 20 years, I can totally empathise with this paragraph. Sam, I'm on your side with this one. I'm being totally serious as well, short of putting a checkout operator on to each self service till - which would totally defeat the point of them - they couldn't be any easier to use. The weighing process in the bags/belts is probably the most complicated part of the machinery customers are faced with but to compensate for that, you have a voice telling you what to do AND it's written on the screen. People just do not listen - like numpties who build TV stands without reading the instructions and find they've done it the wrong way round... For example! Yes, in California. Wow! They're taking over the world! Would it not give a full list of models on the back in small print? If not then that's a real flaw in the packaging. Normally I'm inclined to take Tesco's side with idiotic returns but if it says "most Samsungs" then leaves it at that, then that's pretty negligent. I agreed with the customer on that one, but I knew there wasn't a chance the electrical desk would refund or replace the item given it was open and they would not be able to resell it. I wouldn't buy electrical goods from Tescos. For my dads birthday a few years back I bought him a widescreen TV and a Freeview box. We had to take the telly back and then the replacement as they had the purple haze thingy you get when the telly's been bashed. The set top box conked out after a year or so as well. I think the electrical service areas in the Tesco Extra stores have improved as they have become more established. A few years ago, selling electrical goods would have been a new thing in the stores whereas now you can buy anything from Tesco from fridges, washing machines, dish washers, microwaves, full desk top PC kits, lap tops, digital cameras, dvd players, portable dvd players, satallite navigation systems, MP3 players, vacuum cleaners. The non-food sales are probably just as high as the food sales we make in our store nowadays. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swampy Posted October 27, 2006 Share Posted October 27, 2006 Wow! They're taking over the world! Yep. 59th biggest company in the world, to use a really crass statement of size (http://money.cnn.com/magazines/fortune/global500/2006/full_list/). I'm not sure but I think they're growing faster than a lot of the others. Worryingly, I'd never heard of a bunch of the companies above it. Sinopec? Assicurazioni Generali? American Intl. Group? I'm quite scared of that last one - anything with a name so innocuous (Public Safety Bureau, Peoples' Democracy, Jimmy Carr) you need to be careful with. Also, isn't it amazing that the fate of a goodly chunk of the world's wealth lies in the clammy hands of Home Depot, America's B&Q? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reignman Posted October 27, 2006 Share Posted October 27, 2006 (edited) Wow! They're taking over the world! As a crossover with the youtube thread: Edit - As a reply to Swampy's post, somebody told me that an eighth of all conumer spending in Britain is done at Tescos. Thats ridiculous!! Edited October 27, 2006 by Reignman 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reina Posted October 27, 2006 Share Posted October 27, 2006 Wow! They're taking over the world! Just like in Time Trumpet! If they start a war with Denmark, then I'll be freaked out! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swampy Posted October 27, 2006 Share Posted October 27, 2006 As a crossover with the youtube thread: Edit - As a reply to Swampy's post, somebody told me that an eighth of all conumer spending in Britain is done at Tescos. Thats ridiculous!! There's various versions of that statistic; the one I heard was that an eighth of "high street" - i.e. walking into a shop and buying something - spending was with the 'sco. However with the growth of Honest Tesco's Off-Shore Lo-Price Bazaar (aka Tesco Jersey) I wouldn't be overly surprised if it included mail order and internet consumer spending, too. I'll check out that video when I get home - what's the basic synopsis? Is it at all related to agriculture? If so, my gut reaction is to have a hearty chuckle at Denmark's expense but I'll give it a chance anyway 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swampy Posted October 27, 2006 Share Posted October 27, 2006 Looked it up on Wikipedia: "According to TNS Superpanel Tesco's share of the UK grocery market in the 12 weeks to 18 June 2006 was 31.4%. Across all categories, over £1 in every £8 of UK retail sales is spent at Tesco. Tesco also operates overseas, and non-UK revenue for the year to 25 February 2006 was 23% of total revenue." 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reignman Posted October 27, 2006 Share Posted October 27, 2006 There's various versions of that statistic; the one I heard was that an eighth of "high street" - i.e. walking into a shop and buying something - spending was with the 'sco. However with the growth of Honest Tesco's Off-Shore Lo-Price Bazaar (aka Tesco Jersey) I wouldn't be overly surprised if it included mail order and internet consumer spending, too. I'll check out that video when I get home - what's the basic synopsis? Is it at all related to agriculture? If so, my gut reaction is to have a hearty chuckle at Denmark's expense but I'll give it a chance anyway It was something a mate told me a couple of weeks ago, but the way it was reasoned as being even remotely possible was that they now do car insurance, internet etc so that was all included. The synopsis of the video is - a load of Armando Ianucci nonsense about Tesco's taking over Denmark as they had completely suturated Britain, exactly the clip Debbie was talking about. Funny though! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MB Posted October 27, 2006 Share Posted October 27, 2006 Self service is fabulous, I use it all the time. It's even in Asda now Piece of piss to use. I'm getting jealous; I've never even seen any of this self-service malarkey. I'm chomping at the bit to try it out so I'll have to start shopping elsewhere. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swampy Posted October 27, 2006 Share Posted October 27, 2006 Ahh, nice one. Armando Ianucci's awesome I missed all of Time Trumpet, hopefully it'll get a DVD release. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Homer Thompson Posted October 27, 2006 Share Posted October 27, 2006 Wow! They're taking over the world! You mean you didnt know? Obviously there are no job opportunities in China up on the staff noticeboard then? More worryingly, the Tesco's brain washing, sorry staff communication, must be severely lacking Yep. 59th biggest company in the world, to use a really crass statement of size (http://money.cnn.com/magazines/fortune/global500/2006/full_list/). I'm not sure but I think they're growing faster than a lot of the others. Worryingly, I'd never heard of a bunch of the companies above it. Sinopec? Assicurazioni Generali? American Intl. Group? I'm quite scared of that last one - anything with a name so innocuous (Public Safety Bureau, Peoples' Democracy, Jimmy Carr) you need to be careful with. Also, isn't it amazing that the fate of a goodly chunk of the world's wealth lies in the clammy hands of Home Depot, America's B&Q? The sponsor some lower league diddy team down south Which makes your following sentence even more appropriate 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monster Posted October 27, 2006 Share Posted October 27, 2006 I actually agree with Sam and Stewarty on this one as well. The average I.Q. of the people i have to deal with phoning my office would buy you a can of coke if it was Sterling. I sell bricks, mostly to the area around Manchester and Liverpool. This is as much as i can remember about a recent phone call from a prospective customer, i swear this is true: Him:Hello? Me: Hello, how can i help? Him: Yes, your rustic bricks, are they red? Me:Yes they are. Him: Where can i see a picture of them? Me: Have you tried our website? Him: Yes, i'm looking at a picture of them at the moment. Me:.................... People generally are completely and utterly thick, to the point where i often believe it must be a wind up because it would not be possible to be as stupid as to ask me if you can build a wall with our bricks. Of course you can't build a wall with our bricks, they are for garnishing ice-cream cones. We launched them on the marketplace as a direct competitor for hundreds and thousands, i thought that would be obvious. Now, i only have to deal with them on the phone and i can barely keep it together at times. I do not envy anyone working in a face to face customer service role. If i worked for Tesco i wouldn't last a week, unless you're allowed to pick customers up and shake them whilst screaming 'You're an IDIOT!!!!!!' repeatedly. Which i doubt. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peterhead Dave Posted October 27, 2006 Share Posted October 27, 2006 The sponsor some lower league diddy team down south Which makes your following sentence even more appropriate :lol: 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swampy Posted October 27, 2006 Share Posted October 27, 2006 (edited) Oh, is THAT what AIG stands for? I assumed it was Angry Inbred Mancs or something. I was on Google there trying to find which League Two side it was. I pictured a wee American flag logo, possibly driven into the top of the globe. AIG. Bo-ring. So boring I never even knew that's what it was. Edited October 27, 2006 by Swampy 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
An Sionnach Posted October 27, 2006 Share Posted October 27, 2006 Postal scams! Just got this warning folks..... In the run up to Christmas people have been getting cards from a company called PDS (Parcel Delivery Service) put through their letter box stating that they were unable to deliver a package and asking them to phone 0306 66 11 9 11 to arrange delivery. The Royal Mail have confirmed that this is a scam operating out of Belize. As soon as you dial the number and get the automated reply service you are charged £15. The longer you listen the more you will be charged. The advice is – “Don’t dial the number, there is no package!†Here to help! B) 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shetlandbairn Posted October 27, 2006 Share Posted October 27, 2006 Seen the "close talker" episode of Seinfeld? With Judge Reinhold in? If not, you should. Season 5, Episode 18, if you wanna download it or something. Quality episode (like all of them I suppose). My friend's Dad is a close talker at times. I used to work with someone that was a low talker as well... thankfully he never made me wear a pirate's shirt. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SPLwankwankwank Posted October 27, 2006 Share Posted October 27, 2006 I actually agree with Sam and Stewarty on this one as well. The average I.Q. of the people i have to deal with phoning my office would buy you a can of coke if it was Sterling. I sell bricks, mostly to the area around Manchester and Liverpool. This is as much as i can remember about a recent phone call from a prospective customer, i swear this is true: Him:Hello? Me: Hello, how can i help? Him: Yes, your rustic bricks, are they red? Me:Yes they are. Him: Where can i see a picture of them? Me: Have you tried our website? Him: Yes, i'm looking at a picture of them at the moment. Me:.................... People generally are completely and utterly thick, to the point where i often believe it must be a wind up because it would not be possible to be as stupid as to ask me if you can build a wall with our bricks. Of course you can't build a wall with our bricks, they are for garnishing ice-cream cones. We launched them on the marketplace as a direct competitor for hundreds and thousands, i thought that would be obvious. Now, i only have to deal with them on the phone and i can barely keep it together at times. I do not envy anyone working in a face to face customer service role. If i worked for Tesco i wouldn't last a week, unless you're allowed to pick customers up and shake them whilst screaming 'You're an IDIOT!!!!!!' repeatedly. Which i doubt. It's also linked to wealth, the silver spoon brigade. Take a look at the Emirates desk in Glasgow from 2 hours before check in on any day and it's fucking jumping. Why, 'cause these spoon fed fuds need everything done for them. Then they arrive back and it continues. Now I'm sure most of you are familiar with Glasgow Airport. You exit aircraft and enter a corridor which leads you to Passport Control. There your allowed to 'pass' into the country and the corridor continues in a very natural progression into the baggage reclaim hall. Why the f**k then do they clear Immigration and turn and head back towards the plane?!?!?! Then they have to literally be taken by the hand and shown where to get their bags. Not as common but still occurs, they collect their bags and arrive, against the flow of passengers in an attempt to head in the direction of the aircraft again! There's signs all over the fucking place, read them!!!! On a lighter note, place is hoaching with babes 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SaintSam Posted October 27, 2006 Share Posted October 27, 2006 (edited) I actually agree with Sam and Stewarty on this one as well. The average I.Q. of the people i have to deal with phoning my office would buy you a can of coke if it was Sterling. I sell bricks, mostly to the area around Manchester and Liverpool. This is as much as i can remember about a recent phone call from a prospective customer, i swear this is true: Him:Hello? Me: Hello, how can i help? Him: Yes, your rustic bricks, are they red? Me:Yes they are. Him: Where can i see a picture of them? Me: Have you tried our website? Him: Yes, i'm looking at a picture of them at the moment. Me:.................... People generally are completely and utterly thick, to the point where i often believe it must be a wind up because it would not be possible to be as stupid as to ask me if you can build a wall with our bricks. Of course you can't build a wall with our bricks, they are for garnishing ice-cream cones. We launched them on the marketplace as a direct competitor for hundreds and thousands, i thought that would be obvious. Now, i only have to deal with them on the phone and i can barely keep it together at times. I do not envy anyone working in a face to face customer service role. If i worked for Tesco i wouldn't last a week, unless you're allowed to pick customers up and shake them whilst screaming 'You're an IDIOT!!!!!!' repeatedly. Which i doubt. Wow, that was funny! The most common example of stupidity at self scan: When notes are dispensed in your change, the voice in the machine says "Notes are dispensed BELOW the scanner" every ten seconds until your notes have been picked up. I get people standing there for ages, trying to stick their fingers into all sorts of places looking for their change, and instead of showing them sometimes, I tell them that their "notes are dispensed below the scanner" only to be greeted with "where's the scanner?" Erm... Where you scanned your items, I'd imagine. Edited October 27, 2006 by SaintSam 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reina Posted October 27, 2006 Share Posted October 27, 2006 Yeah, but it's great if you only have a few things, and they're really NOT difficult to work. It gives you every step aloud and in writing. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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