Petty Things That Get On Your Nerves...

[TxRover]

5 hours ago, BFTD said:

I've occasionally been curious about the Mormons, as some of the stuff you hear about their beliefs are mental and/or hilarious. Unfortunately, the creepy boys in the black ties you see dotting about occasionally don't seem the type who'd take well to an innocent probing about their magic underpants.

Now, now…talk about temple garments will definitely rile up the boys on bikes. Just stick to questions about golden tablets and angelic giveaways.

[Rugster]

39 minutes ago, 'WellDel said:

He's from Greenock, I'd imagine he's yet to master the spoon.

I think being from Greenock using a spoon will be one of the first things he learned. 

[Soapy FFC]

7 hours ago, 19QOS19 said:

Why does it matter? 

I've always used my right hand when holding my fork as I'm right handed. If I was eating a plate of food that didn't require a knife I'd use my right hand so find it bizarre that I'd be expected to switch hands if a knife was in play. It's always struck me as some weird old timey etiquette. 

You could always do what my American cousins do. Use the fork in the right hand for eating, and every now and again switch hands and use the knife in the right to cut the food up into bits, put the knife down, then continue using only the fork in the right hand. They don't seem to cut and eat in the same movement.

I use the knife in my right hand, only because being right handed I use it better in the right. With no knife, it's fork in the right hand. It's just like when cooking I use the knife with my right hand so I don't cut my fingers off if I tried using my left.

It's obviously just something that's came about due to most people being right handed.

[BFTD]

6 minutes ago, Soapy FFC said:

You could always do what my American cousins do. Use the fork in the right hand for eating, and every now and again switch hands and use the knife in the right to cut the food up into bits, put the knife down, then continue using only the fork in the right hand. They don't seem to cut and eat in the same movement.

Can confirm. That threw me a bit when I was first around Americans until I realised loads of them do it. It's like they're copying how their mum cut their food up for them when they were weans.

Dunno why they can't eat proper like me; fork for everything, unless there's a thick piece of meat that pressure from the edge of the fork can't cut. Remember, you can't buy class, lads.

[GordonD]

36 minutes ago, Soapy FFC said:

You could always do what my American cousins do. Use the fork in the right hand for eating, and every now and again switch hands and use the knife in the right to cut the food up into bits, put the knife down, then continue using only the fork in the right hand. They don't seem to cut and eat in the same movement.

There's a scene in the war film The Big Red One where some German soldiers are posing as Americans. They're found out because they have proper table manners and don't switch their forks to the right hand.

[pozbaird]

I’m somewhat pleased to learn that (at home only), I’m not alone in eating with a fork only. In my right hand, and use the edge of the fork to cut anything on the plate that can be cut by the edge of said fork. I actually find eating by only using a fork enchances my enjoyment of the meal. Say it’s a full cooked breakfast. Nothing better than cutting a piece of link or square sausage with the fork edge, then off you go. In public, or if a fork edge just can’t get the job done, then obviously, I go the full knife & fork monty. Great fun chasing the last bit of a chicken curry around the plate with yer’ fork, trying to get a wee bit of rice & sauce on there too, and off you go. The amount of meals we have at home that ends with me picking up my knife and saying ‘don’t need to wash that’ is ridiculous.

Thank fcuk I’m not the only weirdo forko’ kunto out there.

Edited September 1 by pozbaird

[tamthebam]

21 hours ago, BFTD said:

Anyone know if the Quran is a better read than the Christian Bible? I've been in a couple of cities lately where lads were giving copies away and was curious about whether it would be worth killing time with on a long journey. Kinda looking for something crammed with sizzling gypsies TBH.

Plus, if I turned up at my old man's place with a copy, it would confirm one of his pet conspiracy theories.

I've read Leibowitz's shopping list

 

 

(one for fans of post-apocalyptic sci-fi there)

[Soapy FFC]

1 hour ago, pozbaird said:

I’m somewhat pleased to learn that (at home only), I’m not alone in eating with a fork only. In my right hand, and use the edge of the fork to cut anything on the plate that can be cut by the edge of said fork. I actually find eating by only using a fork enchances my enjoyment of the meal. Say it’s a full cooked breakfast. Nothing better than cutting a piece of link or square sausage with the fork edge, then off you go. In public, or if a fork edge just can’t get the job done, then obviously, I go the full knife & fork monty. Great fun chasing the last bit of a chicken curry around the plate with yer’ fork, trying to get a wee bit of rice & sauce on there too, and off you go. The amount of meals we have at home that ends with me picking up my knife and saying ‘don’t need to wash that’ is ridiculous.

Thank fcuk I’m not the only weirdo forko’ kunto out there.

That's what naan bread is for. Failing that your finger.

I agree the fork can be used on it's own for most things. Some things like pastry on steak pie might require you to pierce the pastry with the actual prongs before cutting it with the edge, just so you don't break all the pastry up into wee bits.

Edited September 1 by Soapy FFC

[pozbaird]

20 minutes ago, Soapy FFC said:

That's what naan bread is for. Failing that your finger.

I agree the fork can be used on it's own for most things. Some things like pastry on steak pie might require you to pierce the pastry with the actual prongs before cutting it with the edge, just so you don't break all the pastry up into wee bits.

That’s one of life’s great pleasures - eating a Scotch pie with just a fork, but only eating the circular top bit and the contents. Leave all the surrounding pastry to pick up and crunch into at the end.

It’s official - I’m weird.

[Silvio Tattiescone]

Heathens. The only time the fork should be in the right hand is for pasta. 

[Soapy FFC]

4 minutes ago, Newbornbairn said:

Heathens. The only time the fork should be in the right hand is for pasta. 

What about risotto?

[Silvio Tattiescone]

17 minutes ago, Soapy FFC said:

What about risotto?

Ok, that's a fork too. Eaten clockwise from the outside in. 

[Richey Edwards]

What hand do you use for these?

 

[TxRover]

4 hours ago, Richey Edwards said:

What hand do you use for these?

 

Read Matthew 5:30.

[BFTD]

40 minutes ago, TxRover said:

Read Matthew 5:30.

It's worrying that I guessed which passage that was going to be  

[MEADOWXI]

Left handed, but when using both utensils it always fork left and knife right.

The fork alone is always left, sometimes assisted by noon/garlic/normal bread in the right for the final pushing and mopping.

Perfectly able to use a knife with the weaker hand.

[Dan Electro]

18 hours ago, 19QOS19 said:

Why does it matter? 

I've always used my right hand when holding my fork as I'm right handed. If I was eating a plate of food that didn't require a knife I'd use my right hand so find it bizarre that I'd be expected to switch hands if a knife was in play. It's always struck me as some weird old timey etiquette. 

On my first flight to the USA; Amsterdam to Minneapolis St. Paul, I was asked "which part of the States are you from"?

"I'm from Scotland"; and I was actually living in Scotland then.

This couple genuinely thought I was from the USA because I ate an airplane meal with a fork out of my right hand. Whereas everything on an airplane meal, except noodles, is bitesize, so why don't I use my dominant hand?

Oddly, I'm ambidextrous with chopsticks as I play a right handed guitar, and, learned on the left, as that's the hand doing the most work. (Far more Joe Strummer versus Mick Jones).

Switched to the right hand when I learned that the elderly Chinese might be offended.....

[hk blues]

10 hours ago, pozbaird said:

I’m somewhat pleased to learn that (at home only), I’m not alone in eating with a fork only. In my right hand, and use the edge of the fork to cut anything on the plate that can be cut by the edge of said fork. I actually find eating by only using a fork enchances my enjoyment of the meal. Say it’s a full cooked breakfast. Nothing better than cutting a piece of link or square sausage with the fork edge, then off you go. In public, or if a fork edge just can’t get the job done, then obviously, I go the full knife & fork monty. Great fun chasing the last bit of a chicken curry around the plate with yer’ fork, trying to get a wee bit of rice & sauce on there too, and off you go. The amount of meals we have at home that ends with me picking up my knife and saying ‘don’t need to wash that’ is ridiculous.

Thank fcuk I’m not the only weirdo forko’ kunto out there.

Same here - most food can be cut with a fork and if not then I'll resort to a knife but it's not that often.  Where I am they don't use forks at all when eating - knife and spoon only - in fact, unless the food is wet they'll use their fingers more often than not.  

[thistledo]

16 hours ago, Rugster said:

@thistledo

Seems like it's busy in PTTGOYN last few days, is it worth a read my friend? 

[Florentine_Pogen]

13 hours ago, Rugster said:

I think being from Greenock using a spoon will be one of the first things he learned.