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I phoned my local B&Q to ask how big the queue is. They said it is the same size as the B.

Threads getting locked for being boring? Are you taking nominations?

Going through original Star Trek and not skipping the really pish episodes. On the one where the US constitution somehow are holy words on another planet. Pure coincidence. Still, at least in the last episode Kirk saved the ship by snogging a lassie.

Sometimes you've got to squeeze Sometimes you've got to say please Sometimes you got to say hey

He sounds like George Galloway.

3 hours later...

We ordered a new bed, having thoroughly worn out the old one through relentless shagging*. It was supposed to arrive last Wednesday but on the day we got a notification that it was damaged, and so sent back to the manufacturer. We asked if we should wait for a refund before ordering again, and the company said no, they'll just order us a fresh bed for free. So, our assumption was that we wouldn't get a refund, just the bed we ordered a few days late. Today the bed arrived and a refund hit our bank account. As of now we have a new, free bed. They might take a payment of course but for now, I'm about £400 up *That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Worst for me was Southampton to Jersey on a tiny wee plane. Like being on a rollercoaster.

8 tuesday

Not been in this thread for a while. Khan is involved now? These genetically engineered superhumans get up to all sorts.

What is a diss track?

Is that what you'll call your team after their next brush with the HMRC?

None of you are any help, you know...

If you transpose this matrix then Stephen interrupted Fiona 21 times. Let's see how she likes that.

So the entire prize fund for League 1 is £1.142m. The difference in prize money between Celtic and Rangers is £1.212m

Re-elected to the Senate for a second 3-year term. We have term limits so I can't stand again after this.

No, I reckon in a single match, team v team, Arsenal would win. Man City would win the league of course, but the strength of that Arsenal team would take the game.

I reckon the 2002/3 Arsenal team would pump them ragged.

This "best team ever" stuff in the radio and the papers is mince. I reckon they would fold like a pack of cards against an early Wenger Arsenal team or one of Fergie's Man U teams.

In the writer's room, someone must have piped up "You know what we need? We need a detailed examination of Michael's psyche! Let's have half the episode set in her brain where she examines her own mind" That half was abysmal. On the other half, just sad that the Breen didn't take the chance to turn them into dust.

Homeowners in Northumberland Road, Maidstone, annoyed after car parking signs put up outside homes

10 for Monday

Re-read The Hunt for Red October. I forgot how slow the book is. A rare occasion where the movie is better.

"Never liked the food, been coming here for years" Eh?

Quite right. Cyclists should stay on the pavement and headbut pedestrians out of the way. What is the point of wearing a helmet otherwise?