scottsdad

Are porno mags still in business? I mean, the physical versions? I'd assume it was all online now. The days of having a "collection" a thing of the past.

On one of the other threads, I think a Dundee or Dundee united one, someone referred to you as being like Joe Biden during the Trump debate. I didn't think so at the time.

When I was in the civil service, we used hire cars a lot (and taxis). Usually things like a Honda Jazz or a Corsa. One day my hire car arrived at the office and it was a sporty wee 2-seater Audi convertible. Tremendous fun, driving down to the Borders in that, taking the twists and turns. Worst was a Kia Cee'd. Crippled my back. Not had a hire car in ages though...

This is the frontrunner so far.

7 Thursday

This year is our 20th wedding anniversary. I am useless at buying gifts. I need help, guys.

Adjust the sweary filters. For example: f**k the Pars; get intae the fucking Pars. One scrubbed, one not. Might as well get rid of it. Or add Pars to the list of banned words.

As far as the taxman is concerned, the stadium is always half full and season tickets are cheap as chips. It's The Rangers way.

Delicious

Good, man. Good to hear you're not languishing in a gulag somewhere.

The Financial Times doesn't have stories about guys enticing eels up their own arses with lemons.

If your arm is the body part enjoying it, you're doing it wrong.

Not seen @BFTD for a couple of weeks.

Doctors pull 26-inch EEL out of a man's backside after he forced the live creature into his anus (along with a lemon)… and it started to bite his large intestine

I've never agreed with the idea of a "medal table" for these games. It is individuals and teams in disparate competitions. Some nations are tremendous at some events (eg South Korea winning the women's archery for 10 games in a row) and utter bobbins at others. This "table" makes a false equivalence that somehow all nations are competing with each other at all events. And it generates headlines like this pish. USA are lagging in the Olympic gold medal table. Should American fans panic? Panic? About not winning "enough" medals? This isn't the spirit of the games, sorry.

Spa is the fucking business as we've just seen. Every other year? f**k off.

"a higher standard of debate"

Tell me more about this migrants carnage.

I'm not sure myself, half the time.

JJ Abrams really isn't the master film-maker people thought he was 15 years ago. He's had a crack at both Star Wars and Star Trek and fallen short in both.

One last thing. Is "shoulder" a euphemism here? Are we talking about a haircut with a happy ending?

Back in 2002 (jeezo - 22 years ago!) I was travelling back from the ESRF through Manchester Airport with a guy who has been with me at the synchrotron. He was an archaeologist and had taken thin sections of some soil for analysis. We'd spent days looking for something called spherulites in these sections with the X-ray machine. I can't remember exactly why - something to do with 2000 year old sheep dip and it telling him something about farming back in the day. Anyway, coming back he had taken his thin section slides in his hand luggage. We got stopped (this was not much post-9/11 and security was insane). The guard asked him to open his bag, which he did, and brought out all these slides. The guard asked him to explain what these were, and he did - in lots of detail. He went on for ages talking about northern Scottish farming practices in ancient times and how this affected bones, and digestion, and what we had spent the last few days looking at, long past when the guard had given up the ghost. The poor guy's face, he just wanted to make sure it wasn't semtex. He did not want to learn about the digestive practices of a sheep from millennia ago.

I haven't done a nightshift in years, but the thread bump has reminded me. When I worked in Somerfield, I did a few nightshifts. We were paid the handsome sum of time and a third. Stacking the shelves when the shop was shut. It was non-stop, and the guy running the shift was a bit of a bellend, always trying to get us to hurry up and finish so that we could all then sit in the (closed) canteen together. A few years later I was doing them in a different way. We'd get beamtime at a synchrotron source of a neutron source, and you'd be given 48 hours, 72 hours and (in one awful case) a week. The expectation was that you were gathering data the entire time. We'd go out as a team and take it in shifts - sitting in a windowless, air conditioned room, hour after hour of putting samples in the hutch, securing the doors, setting up the run, hitting start, then surfing the internet. I remember leaving it to go back to the on-site accommodation once and being surprised that it was dark outside. All sense of time lost. The hardest places to do this was the synchrotrons. You do all the set up etc. and the sample would be exposed to X-rays for a fraction of a second (at Diamond or the ESRF) or a couple of minutes (Daresbury). You could set up multiple samples to stretch it out. Neutron sources were easier - at the ILL the sample would be exposed to the neturons for 15 minutes, so you had plenty of time to mess about online. ISIS was even better - 8 hour run times. Literally, every 8 hours go down into the well, take out the old sample, put in the new, come back out and start it again. I got through DVD box sets on my laptop there.

A shoulder massage from a barber? I just can't get my head around that one. Does he break out the scented candles and stick on an Enya CD, too?