Pregnancy And Parenting

[RH33]

But thats not what he's talking about. He's talking about running in and comforting a child just because they dont like something new in their 'routine', and he's right.

No ones suggesting that When a child cries, every parent knows, or should know, whether the child is genuinely in distress, or pain, and when they're not. Leaving them crying when they are genuinely distressed (and not liking a change in routine is not genuine distress) is cruel, but no one is suggesting that.

And I feel as a mum uncomfortable leaving my child scream in the name of routine. genuine distress or otherwise. I didn't say he was wrong for doing that way, just offered my feelings on it. Different things work for different people.

[Homer Thompson]

And I feel as a mum uncomfortable leaving my child scream in the name of routine. genuine distress or otherwise. I didn't say he was wrong for doing that way, just offered my feelings on it. Different things work for different people.

But its not "in the name of routine". That suggests they're doing it for an easy life, which is hardly the case.

[theentomologist]

Sorry, but disagree. We co-sleep with our wee one, he's an independant and confident little boy who is in no way damanding or needy.

I personally don't think it's right to leave a baby screaming just in the name of routine.

I'd agree with this having met the lad.

I would say though that he doesn't like it when you obviously leave the room.

but again I'd agree with the screaming being a difficult behaviour. I would say though, in many ways its like the dogs on dog borstal -not comparing your kids to dogs! just the learning process- if the screaming is rewarded it will be negatively re-enforced, ignore it and, yes painfully probably - the behaviour will dissapear. Supernanny is forever taking that route.

but of course I'm not taking a side as its clear its not a black and white issue and i'm only looking at it with no emotional experience of that sort of situation aned purely from a pavlovian point of view, you ring the bell with food you get saliva, you ring the bell with no food, eventually you get saliva anyway. if you dont respond then the bell wont cause saliva in later life.

[Lisa Cuddy]

I'd agree with this having met the lad.

I would say though that he doesn't like it when you obviously leave the room.

They ALL go through that stage. I can't go anywhere without a little person following me at the moment, and if he sees me leave for college, all hell breaks loose.

but again I'd agree with the screaming being a difficult behaviour. I would say though, in many ways its like the dogs on dog borstal -not comparing your kids to dogs! just the learning process- if the screaming is rewarded it will be negatively re-enforced, ignore it and, yes painfully probably - the behaviour will dissapear. Supernanny is forever taking that route.

but of course I'm not taking a side as its clear its not a black and white issue and i'm only looking at it with no emotional experience of that sort of situation aned purely from a pavlovian point of view, you ring the bell with food you get saliva, you ring the bell with no food, eventually you get saliva anyway. if you dont respond then the bell wont cause saliva in later life.

It's really what the parent feels comfortable with and what works for the child.

Controlled crying (what people call leaving a child to cry) isn't about just leaving them until they fall asleep though. It's not meant for kids under 6 months as up until that age, if they're crying, they need something. After that though, if you're absolutely positive that there's nothing wrong with them and they're not crying for anything in particular but attention, then the point of it is to put them down, leave them for a set time and then go back and settle them by not picking them up, but just talking to them and soothing them. You gradually increase the time that you leave them for so that they know you're not far away, but they're also not going to get your attention every time they fancy it. It generally does work, but there are of course parents that don't like it. Purely as anecdotal evidence though, I don't know a single person who has tried and failed.

[RH33]

I have a crying child here at the moment but it's temper so he can get on with it!

[Lisa Cuddy]

I have a crying child here at the moment but it's temper so he can get on with it!

I must admit, I do laugh at temper tantrums. I have to walk away!

[RH33]

I must admit, I do laugh at temper tantrums. I have to walk away!

Me too!

And in fairness to Ruairidh, if I was left in the room on my own with the ento I'd cry too!

[Lisa Cuddy]

Me too!

And in fairness to Ruairidh, if I was left in the room on my own with the ento I'd cry too!

Yeah, he does kind of give off that impression

[theentomologist]

Me too!

And in fairness to Ruairidh, if I was left in the room on my own with the ento I'd cry too!

Yeah, he does kind of give off that impression

I'm just not the all singing/dancing type, I'm the leaky encyclopaedia. I can bore on any topic in 3 languages. -well one but I'll say hello in 5.

[stimpy]

Sorry, but disagree. We co-sleep with our wee one, he's an independant and confident little boy who is in no way damanding or needy.

I personally don't think it's right to leave a baby screaming just in the name of routine.

Generally routine is a good thing, I found my two to be a lot happier when feeding, bath time and bed time were around the same time every day (obviously it's different for the very young). Also it's not about stubbornly leaving your child screaming but it's also not about scooping them up at the slightest noise, everyone will know their own baby and every cry is a judgment call.

I'm not a parenting guru writing a set of rules, this is just how I brought mine up and through speaking to my Mum and my Gran this is how I was brought up and it never did me any harm, I mean I almost never murder anyone anymore.

[MB]

With Oliver now just over 6 1/2 months old, and having been on solids for about a month, things appear to have settled down somewhat. He has his dinner around 5.30pm (or slightly later), a bit of play time, bath at 7pm, quick milk feed then he's usually out for the count not much after 7.30pm. He's usually managing to sleep through to at least 6.30am, which is about the time I get up for work during the week. It was much tougher in the first three or four months, but as he has yet to grow any teeth I'm sure there are some fun and games to come soon.

Mrs MB will be returning to work in around 5 weeks, so that will probably upset the routine a bit. At least she is only going back three days a week, but it's sure to be a tough adjustment when the time comes.

[monkeyblair]

Our 3 year old daughter ran to the door to greet me from work today with a piece of paper on which she had written her own name for the first time. She was so proud of herself she made me cry.

That is why all the sleep training and temper tantrums are worth it.

[chico]

Our 3 year old daughter ran to the door to greet me from work today with a piece of paper on which she had written her own name for the first time. She was so proud of herself she made me cry.

That is why all the sleep training and temper tantrums are worth it.

good on her. The sleep training/routine stuff is hard work. Had a week of hell with my 13 month old son last ask due to illness and we're stick not quite back in the groove. Tried a dreamfeed an hour ago and he's still not quite settled and is lying on my chest as I tap this in on the touch.

I dont think there's a right answer on sleep training, but I do struggle on controlled crying.

[StewartyMac]

good news i guess for us is he dosnt wake up until 6am roughly unless he wakes up during the night which normally he does

In other words he does wake up before 6am?

In my opinion, 10.30 is far too late to put a baby of that age to bed. Our wee one is just over a year old, but from almost when she was first born, she was bathed around six, and in bed by seven at the latest.

Now, she sleeps from 7-7 every night, only very occasionally waking up through the night. And even then, it's only because she's either lost her dummy or her comfort blanket has fell out the cot.

[chico]

In my opinion, 10.30 is far too late to put a baby of that age to bed. Our wee one is just over a year old, but from almost when she was first born, she was bathed around six, and in bed by seven at the latest.

Now, she sleeps from 7-7 every night, only very occasionally waking up through the night. And even then, it's only because she's either lost her dummy or her comfort blanket has fell out the cot.

good routine that.

[Skyline Drifter]

In other words he does wake up before 6am?

In my opinion, 10.30 is far too late to put a baby of that age to bed. Our wee one is just over a year old, but from almost when she was first born, she was bathed around six, and in bed by seven at the latest.

Now, she sleeps from 7-7 every night, only very occasionally waking up through the night. And even then, it's only because she's either lost her dummy or her comfort blanket has fell out the cot.

Does she nap at all during the day?

As I've said before, we used to let Thomas fall asleep in his own time before taking him to bed. That tended to be sometime between 9pm and 10pm though it was occasionally beyond that. He sleeps right through to 7:30am normally from that but he also tends to take a nap of up to an hour mid morning and mid afternoon. That routine worked fine for us and would possibly still be going but for the arrival of Steven meaning we've got a little more rigid with Thomas. He's going to bed at 9pm on the dot now and doesn't seem too bothered about it. We may try to ease that back to 8:30 after a while too. We'll see. He tends to be hyper in the early evening though so I can't believe he'd happily settle down at 7pm or particularly close to it.

He doesn't have a dummy or any particular comforter though. He used a dummy briefly from shortly after he was born until he was maybe 3 or 4 months but he was never that bothered by it and we quickly discarded it. Hopefully Steven will be the same. He uses one now but he doesn't seem to like it much and doesn't keep it in for long.

[LOL @ Celtic]

Just built up some gym and bouncy seat for the wean, the instructions look like a chimp shat on a piece of A2 paper. You know you're in for a testing time when the philips head is required and you've only got the flathead screwdriver. I fully expect his first words to be 'f**k Fisher Price!' after today.

[StewartyMac]

Does she nap at all during the day?

Yep, anything up to a couple of hours between 12-2 in the afternoon.

[RH33]

Yep, anything up to a couple of hours between 12-2 in the afternoon.

My wee one used to have an hour in the morning and afternoon but he's now taken to 3-4 hours in the afternoon, was a bit concerned but the HV said it's likely that he is growing and needs more sleep. He sleeps 8/8.30pm to between 7 and 8am.

[Adam_Wee]

My wee one used to have an hour in the morning and afternoon but he's now taken to 3-4 hours in the afternoon, was a bit concerned but the HV said it's likely that he is growing and needs more sleep. He sleeps 8/8.30pm to between 7 and 8am.

Bloody hell, that must be great!

Charlie has between one and two hours in the afternoon each day. He goes down just before 7pm and is up around 7am when LM starts getting ready for College. Past couple of nights/mornings have been a bit out of routine though. He was up at 6am this morning and was awake twice the previous night.

Got an early flight on Friday morning so I look forward to waking him up for a change.