Things you want to share with P&B

[Bairnardo]

Schnitzel von crumb, with a cock like a thumb.

Please dont ruin Hairy McLairy by applying your seedy wee mind to it TYVM

[ICTChris]

The precursor to that video

 

Imagine living in that environment, having parents behaving like that.  It's absolutely unbelievable to me.  Maybe I've had a sheltered life.

 

Edited April 19, 2021 by ICTChris

[Melanius Mullarkey]

1 hour ago, Bairnardo said:

19 hours ago, Melanius Mullarkey said:

Schnitzel von crumb, with a cock like a thumb.

Please dont ruin Hairy McLairy by applying your seedy wee mind to it TYVM

Hercules Morse was the complete opposite but Im neigh going to say any more. 

[The Moonster]

53 minutes ago, ICTChris said:

 

Imagine living in that environment, having parents behaving like that.  It's absolutely unbelievable to me.  Maybe I've had a sheltered life.

 

Fairly common behaviour in a scheme. I say fairly common, there probably aren't too many folk lobbing chainsaws into their neighbours home, but on street scuffles and warring neighbours are par for the course. 

[Sweet Pete]

23 minutes ago, The Moonster said:

Fairly common behaviour in a scheme. I say fairly common, there probably aren't too many folk lobbing chainsaws into their neighbours home, but on street scuffles and warring neighbours are par for the course. 

Yeah not to accuse ICTChris of naivety as it would be extremely unfair, but sadly this type of behaviour is never far below the surface in the average socially depressed housing scheme. That's part of the reason why it's self perpetuating, the kids live through it and take that edgy stress of daily life into their adulthood and the cycle continues. These places come with an inbuilt tension and lack of feeling of safety that causes permanent effects and changes in the brain/hormones. The Glasgow Effect study had some great info in this area, but I'm sure other socio economic studies are available.

[ICTChris]

I probably am being naive but I still find it pretty jarring to see people behave like that.  I wasn't brought up in an area like that but have lived places like that in my life and didn't really experience it.  I'm lucky I guess.

As Sweet Pete says the cycle repeats for children who see violence and aggression as a part of life or to resolve disputes and situations.  Even if that isn't what happens in that house being exposed to it in the environment will have an impact.

As I get older I appreciate the environment my parents raised me in more and more.  You don't realise it at the time but I was raised in a calm, peaceful safe house and that's priceless.

Edited April 19, 2021 by ICTChris

[Sweet Pete]

11 minutes ago, ICTChris said:

I probably am being naive but I still find it pretty jarring to see people behave like that.  I wasn't brought up in an area like that but have lived places like that in my life and didn't really experience it.  I'm lucky I guess.

As Sweet Pete says the cycle repeats for children who see violence and aggression as a part of life or to resolve disputes and situations.  Even if that isn't what happens in that house being exposed to it in the environment will have an impact.

As I get older I appreciate the environment my parents raised me in more and more.  You don't realise it at the time but I was raised in a calm, peaceful safe house and that's priceless.

I've had a hard time adjusting in adulthood to a middle class lifestyle, which I worked my way into and which is all my kids have known. Having come from below the poverty line in a deprived, unsafe scheme, I didn't realise until relatively recently that it's not "normal" to be on edge all the time, that there isn't violence or problems lurking around every corner and that these subconscious pre-programmed safety mechanisms that I developed as a child are not compatible with my life as an adult. Basically the fight, flight, freeze mechanism of the amygdala works overtime in people from these backgrounds and means they're producing adrenaline and cortisol much more than is healthy, leading to all sorts of stress related side effects and destructive behaviours.

[101]

2 hours ago, ICTChris said:

I probably am being naive but I still find it pretty jarring to see people behave like that.  I wasn't brought up in an area like that but have lived places like that in my life and didn't really experience it.  I'm lucky I guess.

As Sweet Pete says the cycle repeats for children who see violence and aggression as a part of life or to resolve disputes and situations.  Even if that isn't what happens in that house being exposed to it in the environment will have an impact.

As I get older I appreciate the environment my parents raised me in more and more.  You don't realise it at the time but I was raised in a calm, peaceful safe house and that's priceless.

That environment is not a place to raise kids it's like when you see wee kids swear and you think it's quite cute but I wonder how often parents are telling a toddler or primary school wean to f**k off or shut the f**k up.

[RH33]

1 minute ago, 101 said:

That environment is not a place to raise kids it's like when you see wee kids swear and you think it's quite cute but I wonder how often parents are telling a toddler or primary school wean to f**k off or shut the f**k up.

My kids were in a school in Ferguslie, sadly the language above directed at the kids was common. And that was just me

[ICTChris]

My mate worked in the Scotmid at the top of Easter Road and a couple came in with a toddler, who was crying or making a noise and the dad said to the mum “Shut that c**t up”, in reference to, you assume, his child. 

[Florentine_Pogen]

I've had a hard time adjusting in adulthood to a middle class lifestyle, which I worked my way into and which is all my kids have known. Having come from below the poverty line in a deprived, unsafe scheme, I didn't realise until relatively recently that it's not "normal" to be on edge all the time, that there isn't violence or problems lurking around every corner and that these subconscious pre-programmed safety mechanisms that I developed as a child are not compatible with my life as an adult. Basically the fight, flight, freeze mechanism of the amygdala works overtime in people from these backgrounds and means they're producing adrenaline and cortisol much more than is healthy, leading to all sorts of stress related side effects and destructive behaviours.

For purely personal reasons, I think this is one of the most interesting and thought-provoking posts I've seen on P&B.
Thanks Pete.

[Hillonearth]

My missus just shared with me the fact that on the set of The Princess Bride in 1987, Andre The Giant hit out with a 16 second fart that brought production to a standstill. Someone asked if he was okay:

"I am now..."

Don't see that bit of movie trivia ever finding its way into a pub quiz, but there you go.

 

 

 

[Sweet Pete]

53 minutes ago, Florentine_Pogen said:

For purely personal reasons, I think this is one of the most interesting and thought-provoking posts I've seen on P&B.
Thanks Pete.

Thanks.

[Sergeant Wilson]

5 hours ago, Sweet Pete said:

I've had a hard time adjusting in adulthood to a middle class lifestyle, which I worked my way into and which is all my kids have known. Having come from below the poverty line in a deprived, unsafe scheme, I didn't realise until relatively recently that it's not "normal" to be on edge all the time, that there isn't violence or problems lurking around every corner and that these subconscious pre-programmed safety mechanisms that I developed as a child are not compatible with my life as an adult. Basically the fight, flight, freeze mechanism of the amygdala works overtime in people from these backgrounds and means they're producing adrenaline and cortisol much more than is healthy, leading to all sorts of stress related side effects and destructive behaviours.

I'll tell you what's worse, having to go back to it. Fortunately I've found my way out of that particular hole again.

[Raidernation]

Well, did a Facebook fundraiser for the school, $250 and I’d dye my hair!


Eek!

[Wee-Bey]

 

[Sweet Pete]

35 minutes ago, Sergeant Wilson said:

I'll tell you what's worse, having to go back to it. Fortunately I've found my way out of that particular hole again.

Christ, sarn't, that's a sore yin right enough. Glad to hear you're coming out the other side.

[Sergeant Wilson]

14 minutes ago, Sweet Pete said:

Christ, sarn't, that's a sore yin right enough. Glad to hear you're coming out the other side.

In the past again now, but you never really know what's in store. It wasn't great for the kids who weren't used to it and it still affects one more than the other.

That's where all my guilt went. I've got none left for anything else.

[Nutz_the_Squirrel]

The idea of being ‘on edge’ a lot is linked to what is known as toxic stress. As Pete identifies, it has connotations for fight/flight/freeze. Ever met someone who ‘goes from 0-100’ in terms of aggression? That’s often about toxic stress (and alcohol makes it more apparent). Anyway, the impact of raising kids in such circumstances has lifelong consequences. I’d recommend this video for starters:

Too long didn’t watch? Adverse experiences in childhood (most of which are disproportionately experienced in communities like the one shown in that horrible video) are linked to poor health outcomes including increased strokes, heart attacks etc. And no, it’s not because people from marginalised backgrounds drink or smoke more.

We need to give poverty the heave-ho. It’s a political choice not to. 

[Sweet Pete]

19 minutes ago, throbber said:

What exactly do you mean when you talk about your middle class lifestyle? 

In what context?

I referenced struggles I have/had trying to alter my ingrained subconscious mindset that made it difficult for me to settle, enjoy things, fully invest myself for fear of having it all taken away. I'm not sure what you're asking.