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Freeview channel 20, 23:00 to 00:00

I Can't stop masturbating.

The guide says, Masturbation addict Russell embarks on a road trip across America, sampling weird and wonderful treatments in an attempt to finally kick the habit. Can he pull it off?

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Me and texting drunk just do not go together. Fucking autocorrect.

Me: You have nothing to be sorry about. Quite frankly I think you're the moat brilliant politician are ill price tomorrow to help you.

Burd: Hahaha I'm the most brilliant politician? No more alcohol for robbie ;)

Me: Ok. Gonna shut up out of fear of how much shite o talk. That said I'm elongated to hang to hang out with the conscious girl in the wields whenenver.

I tried to text 'Fucksake' to my pal once and it autocorrected to 'Ducksale.' Still get ripped about that.

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Me and texting drunk just do not go together. Fucking autocorrect.

Me: You have nothing to be sorry about. Quite frankly I think you're the moat brilliant politician are ill price tomorrow to help you.

Burd: Hahaha I'm the most brilliant politician? No more alcohol for robbie ;)

Me: Ok. Gonna shut up out of fear of how much shite o talk. That said I'm elongated to hang to hang out with the conscious girl in the wields whenenver.

Drunk texting can be dealt with.

Its when you find something in your call log that the full on self loathing and paranoia kicks in.

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My air freshener in the toilet fell into the wee thing where my loo brush lives, spilling all over the shop.

But now my loo brush smells like vanilla, so everything went better than expected...

Edited by DeadStar
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27 words into a 2000 word essay that's due for 12pm tomorrow.

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STUDENTS: make better and faster inroads into that all-important assignment by not posting drivel on football messageboards with less than a day to go before the deadline.

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27 words into a 2000 word essay that's due for 12pm tomorrow.

730b4770-c77e-4075-b35a-1d8d43db31b5.jpg

If it helps, I did a 2000 word essay the night before and got a 1st class mark. I thought I would learn my lesson so for the next 2000 word I done, I finished it weeks in advance and got a 2:1 mark. Some folk just work better under pressure.

Annoying thing about the one-nighter was that I would have won a feckin' prize had I taken the uni colour printer queue into account. Got a cas mark docked for handing it in in black and white with toner marks down the middle of the pages.

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