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1 hour ago, tamthebam said:

Bond Monkey? 

Dr Bonobo

The Mandrill with the Golden Gun

Goldenmonkeye

 

1 hour ago, jimbaxters said:

On Her Marmoset's Secret Service

Baboonraker

1 hour ago, Nkomo-A-Gogo said:

The spy who shat in his hand and threw it at the school trip visiting the zoo.

Not bad at all, lads. I was thinking more of a cash bond for some dastardly crime, but…

From Rwanda With Love

 

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4 hours ago, Sergeant Wilson said:

Old verra ain Annie, a proud Scot and Aberdonian.

So proud she fucked off at the first opportunity and never came back unless she was getting paid.

Surely the Aberdonian part is mitigating evidence for wanting to get as far away as possible.

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Went through some emotions today! Stick it in a spoiler for anyone who can be arsed reading the tangent. 

A cat ran out in front of me on my way to work this afternoon. Came out so fast from the pavement that I had absolutely no chance to stop. Given how close it was to my car I assumed I'd hit it. Turned at the next junction and went back to discover my fears were correct. At the time I was surprised it made it across the road (it came from my left and across) as given where I expected contact I assumed I'd have completely flattened it tbh as it looked to have gone under my front right wheel. Pulled over and was shocked to see it wasn't dead but sadly the blood was pishing from its mouth and it was clearly in pain. Went to pick it up and even more surprisingly it bolted. No idea how I never broke any of its legs either. Sadly I couldn't catch it and had to leave. 

Don't have FB so I put a message on a group chat asking if someone could post a message saying what had happened and hopefully the owner could be traced. Somehow they saw the message and the cat had miraculously made it home (about 2 miles away from where I hit it!)

My brief assessment was the cat would either have a broken jaw or it would need put down. My cousin (who found out who the owner was) said the lassie had got it to the vet, it's vital signs were all good and it looked like a broken jaw and the cat would probably lose an eye. Felt relief that they had got it to the vet and it would at least be pain free for a while. Delighted the wee thing could possibly be saved as well. The lassie also told my cousin to say sorry to me for going through that! 

All day I was thinking about it though and specifically how the hell I managed to break it's jaw and hit the head at all. From the angles of where contact would be made I couldn't believe it would have happened unless the cat happened to go past my wheel and then dodge back for me to clip it's head. I know cat's are rapid but I couldn't believe they're that quick. After calming down I also remembered not actually feeling any contact or even hearing a thud. The proximity lead me to believe I must have hit it and after seeing it lying I've assumed I did. But most of the day I was thinking 'if there was a car passing at the same time on the other side then logically they've struck it and not me'. A combination of me thinking/not remembering anything passed by at the same time and the fact no one else stopped apart from another guy (who was nowhere near the incident but saw the cat lying in pain) and tried to help, I again assumed it was me who did it. 

Looked at the dashcam tonight and I really don't think I clipped it. Put on my family chat (it wasn't graphic) and they have come to the same conclusion that they don't think I've hit it. 

All day I've been worried about the wee thing, feeling pretty guilty I couldn't stop/get it to a vet, feeling sad for what the woman and her kids will have gone through today and then I find out (99% sure) it wasn't actually me who did it. The relief was incredible but then it soon turned to anger that the fucker who has clipped the wee thing never bothered to stop and check. Given where we are there's no way they wouldn't have seen as they'd have likely clocked it before me. Absolute scumbag behaviour IMO. Surely they would have felt something?

Got an update from the lassie who said if the cat makes it through the night then he should be out of the woods. Here's hoping. 

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12 minutes ago, 19QOS19 said:

Went through some emotions today! Stick it in a spoiler for anyone who can be arsed reading the tangent. 

 

  Hide contents

A cat ran out in front of me on my way to work this afternoon. Came out so fast from the pavement that I had absolutely no chance to stop. Given how close it was to my car I assumed I'd hit it. Turned at the next junction and went back to discover my fears were correct. At the time I was surprised it made it across the road (it came from my left and across) as given where I expected contact I assumed I'd have completely flattened it tbh as it looked to have gone under my front right wheel. Pulled over and was shocked to see it wasn't dead but sadly the blood was pishing from its mouth and it was clearly in pain. Went to pick it up and even more surprisingly it bolted. No idea how I never broke any of its legs either. Sadly I couldn't catch it and had to leave. 

Don't have FB so I put a message on a group chat asking if someone could post a message saying what had happened and hopefully the owner could be traced. Somehow they saw the message and the cat had miraculously made it home (about 2 miles away from where I hit it!)

My brief assessment was the cat would either have a broken jaw or it would need put down. My cousin (who found out who the owner was) said the lassie had got it to the vet, it's vital signs were all good and it looked like a broken jaw and the cat would probably lose an eye. Felt relief that they had got it to the vet and it would at least be pain free for a while. Delighted the wee thing could possibly be saved as well. The lassie also told my cousin to say sorry to me for going through that! 

All day I was thinking about it though and specifically how the hell I managed to break it's jaw and hit the head at all. From the angles of where contact would be made I couldn't believe it would have happened unless the cat happened to go past my wheel and then dodge back for me to clip it's head. I know cat's are rapid but I couldn't believe they're that quick. After calming down I also remembered not actually feeling any contact or even hearing a thud. The proximity lead me to believe I must have hit it and after seeing it lying I've assumed I did. But most of the day I was thinking 'if there was a car passing at the same time on the other side then logically they've struck it and not me'. A combination of me thinking/not remembering anything passed by at the same time and the fact no one else stopped apart from another guy (who was nowhere near the incident but saw the cat lying in pain) and tried to help, I again assumed it was me who did it. 

Looked at the dashcam tonight and I really don't think I clipped it. Put on my family chat (it wasn't graphic) and they have come to the same conclusion that they don't think I've hit it. 

All day I've been worried about the wee thing, feeling pretty guilty I couldn't stop/get it to a vet, feeling sad for what the woman and her kids will have gone through today and then I find out (99% sure) it wasn't actually me who did it. The relief was incredible but then it soon turned to anger that the fucker who has clipped the wee thing never bothered to stop and check. Given where we are there's no way they wouldn't have seen as they'd have likely clocked it before me. Absolute scumbag behaviour IMO. Surely they would have felt something?

Got an update from the lassie who said if the cat makes it through the night then he should be out of the woods. Here's hoping. 

TL;DR synopsis: I’m a normal human and there are some right scum out there.

Good on ya, m8! You did everything you could.

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6 hours ago, Melanius Mullarkant said:

Got handed a flyer to hear Sheli McCoy (Sabre off of that Gladiators) talk about her Sweat Box.

IMG_8167.thumb.jpeg.52dc117479f955a4caf26ac84f48c61d.jpeg

Unfortunately I’m in London that day.

The middle son wants a gym membership for his 16th birthday, we looked at the Sweat box (steady) and the prices are extortionate. £45 a month, just for gym access. Additional prices for classes etc. 

I think we will just get him in at the Gym Group, £13 a month.

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7 hours ago, 19QOS19 said:

Went through some emotions today! Stick it in a spoiler for anyone who can be arsed reading the tangent. 

 

  Hide contents

A cat ran out in front of me on my way to work this afternoon. Came out so fast from the pavement that I had absolutely no chance to stop. Given how close it was to my car I assumed I'd hit it. Turned at the next junction and went back to discover my fears were correct. At the time I was surprised it made it across the road (it came from my left and across) as given where I expected contact I assumed I'd have completely flattened it tbh as it looked to have gone under my front right wheel. Pulled over and was shocked to see it wasn't dead but sadly the blood was pishing from its mouth and it was clearly in pain. Went to pick it up and even more surprisingly it bolted. No idea how I never broke any of its legs either. Sadly I couldn't catch it and had to leave. 

Don't have FB so I put a message on a group chat asking if someone could post a message saying what had happened and hopefully the owner could be traced. Somehow they saw the message and the cat had miraculously made it home (about 2 miles away from where I hit it!)

My brief assessment was the cat would either have a broken jaw or it would need put down. My cousin (who found out who the owner was) said the lassie had got it to the vet, it's vital signs were all good and it looked like a broken jaw and the cat would probably lose an eye. Felt relief that they had got it to the vet and it would at least be pain free for a while. Delighted the wee thing could possibly be saved as well. The lassie also told my cousin to say sorry to me for going through that! 

All day I was thinking about it though and specifically how the hell I managed to break it's jaw and hit the head at all. From the angles of where contact would be made I couldn't believe it would have happened unless the cat happened to go past my wheel and then dodge back for me to clip it's head. I know cat's are rapid but I couldn't believe they're that quick. After calming down I also remembered not actually feeling any contact or even hearing a thud. The proximity lead me to believe I must have hit it and after seeing it lying I've assumed I did. But most of the day I was thinking 'if there was a car passing at the same time on the other side then logically they've struck it and not me'. A combination of me thinking/not remembering anything passed by at the same time and the fact no one else stopped apart from another guy (who was nowhere near the incident but saw the cat lying in pain) and tried to help, I again assumed it was me who did it. 

Looked at the dashcam tonight and I really don't think I clipped it. Put on my family chat (it wasn't graphic) and they have come to the same conclusion that they don't think I've hit it. 

All day I've been worried about the wee thing, feeling pretty guilty I couldn't stop/get it to a vet, feeling sad for what the woman and her kids will have gone through today and then I find out (99% sure) it wasn't actually me who did it. The relief was incredible but then it soon turned to anger that the fucker who has clipped the wee thing never bothered to stop and check. Given where we are there's no way they wouldn't have seen as they'd have likely clocked it before me. Absolute scumbag behaviour IMO. Surely they would have felt something?

Got an update from the lassie who said if the cat makes it through the night then he should be out of the woods. Here's hoping. 

This sounds like a helluva convoluted way to get a date with the cat's owner!

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5 hours ago, johnnydun said:

The middle son wants a gym membership for his 16th birthday, we looked at the Sweat box (steady) and the prices are extortionate. £45 a month, just for gym access. Additional prices for classes etc. 

I think we will just get him in at the Gym Group, £13 a month.

Is it just a gym he's wanting - or is he specifically looking for weights etc?

 

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2 hours ago, Derry Alli said:

Is it just a gym he's wanting - or is he specifically looking for weights etc?

 

Just a bit of everything he said.

He enjoys the weights and is really strong, not just for his age but as a male. But, he also plays football and is very quick, enjoys running, so needs the cardio stuff too.

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3 hours ago, Swarley said:

This sounds like a helluva convoluted way to get a date with the cat's owner!

"I'm sorry, I've just run over your cat. Can I replace it?"

"Depends. How are you at catching mice?"

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