Florentine_Pogen Posted May 26 Share Posted May 26 ^^^ His watchword on the campaign trail has to be "I'm a-listenin' to ya !!!" 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tamthebam Posted May 26 Share Posted May 26 2 hours ago, Peil said: The lugs on that 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cosmic Joe Posted May 26 Share Posted May 26 I've had worse weekends. Reasons to dislike teams beginning with the letter R except Ross County thread for this pish, one kens 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Newbornbairn Posted May 27 Share Posted May 27 Apparently, the inventors offered the spray to FIFA for free in return for advertising rights. FIFA took the spray and told them to f**k off for the advertising. Could be around £100m they end up paying. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgecutter Posted May 27 Share Posted May 27 Great opportunity to make nearly £12 per month: 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted May 27 Share Posted May 27 15 minutes ago, Hedgecutter said: Great opportunity to make nearly £12 per month: I did a summer in Walkers back in my youth. It was like working with the living dead. Worst part was having to watch folk stick “made in England” stickers on the bottom of boxes of freshly baked duchy originals. Bunch of rangers Tory fuckers. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spyro Posted May 27 Share Posted May 27 4 hours ago, Melanius Mullarkey said: I did a summer in Walkers back in my youth. It was like working with the living dead. Worst part was having to watch folk stick “made in England” stickers on the bottom of boxes of freshly baked duchy originals. Bunch of rangers Tory fuckers. Delivered stuff into there and have to agree. Resembled a labour-camp without any sign of intelligent life anywhere. The 'magic box' I had for signatures was looked at with suspicion, like they have never seen a pen that worked on a computer screen. I could imagine it's a thoroughly depressing place place to work for anyone with average intelligence, but they have a monopoly over the town on terms of employment unless you can escape to Elgin on a daily basis 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Salt n Vinegar Posted May 27 Share Posted May 27 4 hours ago, Melanius Mullarkey said: I did a summer in Walkers back in my youth. It was like working with the living dead. Worst part was having to watch folk stick “made in England” stickers on the bottom of boxes of freshly baked duchy originals. Bunch of rangers Tory fuckers. If the stuff is made in Scotland, isn't it a bit legally dodgy if it has a label claiming it is "made in England"? Trading standards, false advertising or something like that? Are they going for the 'England first' market? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted May 27 Share Posted May 27 56 minutes ago, Salt n Vinegar said: If the stuff is made in Scotland, isn't it a bit legally dodgy if it has a label claiming it is "made in England"? Trading standards, false advertising or something like that? Are they going for the 'England first' market? Yes very much, illegalness abounds as the dough was literally made there and then before being baked and shoved into the packets. This was circa 1993 so the final years of the previous crumbling Tory regime (im pretty sure the Walkers are Tory, much like their Moray brethren, the Baxters). Anyway, i made sure I stole as many biscuits as I could that summer and never washed my hands before going in to work on the Duchy line. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgecutter Posted May 27 Share Posted May 27 My other half also worked at Walkers during the school holidays and she says that it was the biggest motivation for 'sticking in at school' that she ever got. Some power-mad wifey who'd been there for years laying into her for putting labels on slightly squint. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted May 27 Share Posted May 27 4 minutes ago, Hedgecutter said: My other half also worked at Walkers during the school holidays and she says that it was the biggest motivation for 'sticking in at school' that she ever got. Some power-mad wifey who'd been there for years laying into her for putting labels on slightly squint. The production line pretty much summed up there. I’ve seen attack supervisors off the shoulder of Nicky Walker having folk in tears over squinty labels, I’ve seen glittering Duchy original boxes being glued shut with folks fingers trapped inside, all that shortbread will be lost in your Asdas and your Tescos in time, like tears in rain. Time to die. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark Connolly Posted May 27 Share Posted May 27 58 minutes ago, Melanius Mullarkey said: (im pretty sure the Walkers are Tory, much like their Moray brethren, the Baxters) While we're on this, Boyd Tunnock is a Tory c**t as well 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgecutter Posted May 27 Share Posted May 27 4 minutes ago, Mark Connolly said: Boyd Tunnock is a Tory c**t as well Sounds like an original script for Back To The Future before they eventually modified it to Biff Tannen. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Florentine_Pogen Posted May 27 Share Posted May 27 On 20/05/2024 at 23:03, Soapy FFC said: ... or Veet Men Hair Removal Cream (read the top review) https://www.amazon.co.uk/Veet-Men-Hair-Removal-Cream/product-reviews/B00KX3PF22 "After having been told my danglies looked like an elderly Rastafarian I decided to take the plunge and buy some of this as previous shaving attempts had only been mildly successful and I nearly put my back out trying to reach the more difficult bits. Being a bit of a romantic I thought I would do the deed on the missus's birthday as a bit if a treat. I ordered it well in advance and working in the North Sea I considered myself a bit above some of the characters writing the previous reviews and wrote them off as soft office types...Oh my fellow sufferers how wrong I was. I waited until the other half was tucked up in bed and after giving some vague hints about a special surprise I went down to the bathroom. Initially all went well and I applied the gel and stood waiting for something to happen. I didn' have long to wait. At first there was a gentle warmth which in a matter of seconds was replaced by an intense burning and a feeling I can only describe as like being given a barbed wire wedgie by two people intent on hitting the ceiling with my head. Religion hadn't featured much in my life until that night but I suddenly became willing to convert to any religion to stop the violent burning around the turd tunnel and what seemed like the the destruction of the meat and two veg. Struggling not to bite through my bottom lip I tried to wash the gel off in the sink and only succeeded in blocking the plughole with a mat of hair. Through the haze of tears I struggled out of the bathroom across the hall into the kitchen, by this time walking was not really possible and I crawled the final yard to the fridge in the hope of some form of cold relief. I yanked the freezer drawer out and found a tub of ice cream, toe the lid off and positioned it under me. The relief was fantastic but only temporary as it melted fairly quickly and the fiery stabbing returned. Due to the shape of the ice cream tub I hadn'nt managed to give the starfish any treatment and I groped around in the draw for something else as I was sure my vision was going to fail fairly soon. I grabbed a bag of what I later found out was frozen sprouts and tore it open trying to be quiet as I did so. I took a handful of them and an tried in vain to clench some between the cheeks of my arse. This was not doing the trick as some of the gel had found its way up the chutney channel and it felt like the space shuttle was running its engines behind me. This was probably and hopefully the only time in my life I was going to wish there was a gay snowman in the kitchen which should give you some idea of the depths I was willing to sink to in order to ease the pain. The only solution my pain crazed mind could come up with was to gently ease one of the sprouts where no veg had gone before. Unfortunately, alerted by the strange grunts coming from the kitchen the other half chose that moment to come and investigate and was greeted by the sight of me, arse in the air, strawberry ice cream dripping from my bell end pushing a sprout up my arse while muttering arhhh ooooohhh that feels good ahhh Understandably this was a shock to her and she let out a scream and as I hadn'nt heard her come in it caused an involuntary spasm of shock in myself which resulted in the sprout being ejected at quite some speed in her direction. I can understand that having a sprout fired against your leg at 11 at night in the kitchen probably wasent the special surprise she was expecting and having to explain to the kids the next day what the strange hollow in the ice cream was didn't improve my status so to sum it up, VEET removes hair, dignity and self-respect." 1,899 people found this helpful --------------------------------------------- 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted May 27 Share Posted May 27 30 minutes ago, Mark Connolly said: While we're on this, Boyd Tunnock is a Tory c**t as well True. Scotlands populace is being controlled through its addiction to processed salty/sweet fodder. I mean, how else do you explain Dougal across being elected. Looking at Uddingston it’s MSP is SNp but former Lab who went to Strathclyde. Wrong un all round. Westminter election is also SNP with a guy named Bonnar. Quite the boy during the pandemic. Rasellik fan getting into altercations with his neighbour, claiming a memorial wreath on expenses and pissing off to the northern part of Ireland for a wedding. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peil Posted May 27 Share Posted May 27 8 hours ago, Melanius Mullarkey said: I did a summer in Walkers back in my youth. It was like working with the living dead. Worst part was having to watch folk stick “made in England” stickers on the bottom of boxes of freshly baked duchy originals. Bunch of rangers Tory fuckers. that's never the same guy who was keeper at County is it? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bairnardo Posted May 27 Share Posted May 27 11 minutes ago, Peil said: that's never the same guy who was keeper at County is it? Someones been getting high on their own supply.... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peil Posted May 27 Share Posted May 27 2 minutes ago, Bairnardo said: Someones been getting high on their own supply.... I mean it was 23 odd years ago, but fks sake 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted May 27 Share Posted May 27 13 minutes ago, Peil said: that's never the same guy who was keeper at County is it? I once scored a penalty against him in a “beat the goalie” charity thing in Elgin. He was approaching the volume he is on that picture. I think he may have been at County at the time (or Caley Relegationion Thistle). 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spyro Posted May 27 Share Posted May 27 7 hours ago, Melanius Mullarkey said: I once scored a penalty against him in a “beat the goalie” charity thing in Elgin. He was approaching the volume he is on that picture. I think he may have been at County at the time (or Caley Relegationion Thistle). He was still in decent shape when I saw him at County, was someone I adored at the time. How things change when you grow up and realise your heroes aren't all they're cracked up to be! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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