welshbairn Posted August 9, 2017 Share Posted August 9, 2017 Just now, Dee Man said: You should've just left it hanging from a tree branch like everyone else does. Dirty bassas. Why thefuck do they do that? It's fucking disgusting. I was giving a hand job in a bush the other night and the smell put me right off my stroke. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted August 9, 2017 Share Posted August 9, 2017 53 minutes ago, welshbairn said: Why thefuck do they do that? It's fucking disgusting. I was giving a hand job in a bush the other night and the smell put me right off my stroke. Like I told you the other night, it's since the South Park guys invented Mr Hankey, the Christmas Poo. Hankeyists celebrate by decorating trees with jobbies. You're curtailing their religious freedoms if you take them down. PC gone mad, innit. I feel a letter to the Daily Mail coming on. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shotgun Posted August 10, 2017 Share Posted August 10, 2017 The Light of my Life has just got done telling me that Usain Bolt was beaten in the 100m by the American, Mo Farah. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rugster Posted August 10, 2017 Share Posted August 10, 2017 Was asked last night for confirmation that the yolk of an egg is the yellow bit. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ziggy Posted August 12, 2017 Share Posted August 12, 2017 Switched the telly on to see the scores. After a few minutes she asks "Are those the football scores?" Yes why? "I thought so but then I seen one that had the score seventeen thirty" 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whiskychimp Posted August 13, 2017 Share Posted August 13, 2017 The TV was informing us about the meteor shower last night. My missus asks, "is it outside?" Turns out she meant could she see it in our area of the country. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cardinal Richelieu Posted August 14, 2017 Share Posted August 14, 2017 On 13/08/2017 at 13:19, whiskychimp said: The TV was informing us about the meteor shower last night. My missus asks, "is it outside?" Turns out she meant could she see it in our area of the country. Reminds me of this... 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigBo10 Posted August 20, 2017 Share Posted August 20, 2017 She is watching a programme her pal's husband is on. He is standing with his Grandpa and another man who then speaks about the subject of the clip. I ask is that his uncle and grandpa he is with? No just his grandpa she replies. No, there's another man who just spoke. Rewind clip to prove point and repeat "is that his uncle?" to be told "No him that's his mum's brother." 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Musselburgh Jambo Posted August 20, 2017 Share Posted August 20, 2017 Out with her driving her car yesterday. Windscreen is filthy to the point of being dangerous. "Why don't you clean your windscreen" "You know how busy I've been" my darling snaps back. "I just mean use the washer fluid, you don't have to get out and clean it" "Look, I know that, but I'm worried there won't be enough water left in the engine". We could have cleaned it with the tears that rolled down my cheeks for about the next hour, much to her annoyance. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony Ferrino Posted August 23, 2017 Share Posted August 23, 2017 On 20/08/2017 at 16:11, Musselburgh Jambo said: Out with her driving her car yesterday. Windscreen is filthy to the point of being dangerous. "Why don't you clean your windscreen" "You know how busy I've been" my darling snaps back. "I just mean use the washer fluid, you don't have to get out and clean it" "Look, I know that, but I'm worried there won't be enough water left in the engine". We could have cleaned it with the tears that rolled down my cheeks for about the next hour, much to her annoyance. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
19QOS19 Posted September 7, 2017 Share Posted September 7, 2017 We've not long finished our weekly dose of sexual intercourse and she has come (for the second time B)) into the room and announced "This is the first time I've felt like a cumbucket". I have no idea if I'm impressed with that comment, turned on by that comment or flat out disgusted with that comment. I think it's a mixture of all of the above -1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted September 7, 2017 Share Posted September 7, 2017 Women have orgasms now? Don't see the point myself. In my day etc... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hillonearth Posted September 7, 2017 Share Posted September 7, 2017 (edited) It was hosing it down earlier on outside while I was at work and we were talking about how shite the weather's been. I said things could be worse - I've got a mate that lives in Houston. Girl pipes up "Oh, I've got a pal that lives in Bridge of Weir...has it been bad there?" Edited September 7, 2017 by Hillonearth 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted September 8, 2017 Share Posted September 8, 2017 8 hours ago, 19QOS19 said: We've not long finished our weekly dose of sexual intercourse and she has come (for the second time B)) into the room and announced "This is the first time I've felt like a cumbucket". Hope you gave her the "did ye, aye?" eyes. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arabdownunder Posted September 8, 2017 Share Posted September 8, 2017 8 hours ago, 19QOS19 said: We've not long finished our weekly dose of sexual intercourse and she has come (for the second time B)) into the room and announced "This is the first time I've felt like a cumbucket". I have no idea if I'm impressed with that comment, turned on by that comment or flat out disgusted with that comment. I think it's a mixture of all of the above Puzzled by this. Are you in separate rooms when you have intercourse? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WeAreElgin Posted September 8, 2017 Share Posted September 8, 2017 We've not long finished our weekly dose of sexual intercourse and she has come (for the second time B)) into the room and announced "This is the first time I've felt like a cumbucket". I have no idea if I'm impressed with that comment, turned on by that comment or flat out disgusted with that comment. I think it's a mixture of all of the above [emoji33] "I'm definitely not a virgin, honest" thread for this pish 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swarley Posted September 8, 2017 Share Posted September 8, 2017 Puzzled by this. Are you in separate rooms when you have intercourse? You are not alone (unlike 19QOS19), I read it the same way. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
19QOS19 Posted September 8, 2017 Share Posted September 8, 2017 Puzzled by this. Are you in separate rooms when you have intercourse? Yes, such is the length of my mammoth dong B) 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
19QOS19 Posted September 8, 2017 Share Posted September 8, 2017 Hiya Jay fae the inbetweeners. Hiya pal. I've no time for this abuse. I'm a day away from completing Champ Manager and can't afford any distractions. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
D.A.F.C Posted September 8, 2017 Share Posted September 8, 2017 I was shagging Nicole sherzinger and she's like omg orgazms whit she like lolz 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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