Benjamin_Nevis Posted December 27, 2017 Share Posted December 27, 2017 In the car on the way back from Glen Coe: "Deer hunt rabbits, don't they?" Almost crashed the fucking thing. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bigmouth Strikes Again Posted December 27, 2017 Share Posted December 27, 2017 (edited) 1 hour ago, jupe1407 said: "Deer hunt rabbits, don't they?" Edited December 27, 2017 by Bigmouth Strikes Again 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benjamin_Nevis Posted December 27, 2017 Share Posted December 27, 2017 9 minutes ago, Bigmouth Strikes Again said: Most appropriate use of Smudger ever, imo 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bigmouth Strikes Again Posted December 27, 2017 Share Posted December 27, 2017 4 minutes ago, jupe1407 said: Most appropriate use of Smudger ever, imo Yeah, it was a good one. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
philpy Posted December 27, 2017 Share Posted December 27, 2017 On the subject of Dumfries takeaways, I always thought the pizzas from Benvenuto were superb, usually went there on a Saturday night if I was visiting my grandmother. They'd occasionally have an Italian channel on (RAI maybe) showing Serie A highlights. Anyway while waiting on my lunch yesterday the news on TV there was a story about first nations people protesting over a land dispute. A delightful older white woman (not a babe) remarked to her friend "If they don't like it they should go back to where they came from" Send the buggers back! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted December 28, 2017 Share Posted December 28, 2017 A recurring theme for my missus.. ”is that the sun or the moon?” (note faint half moon over the hill) 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The DA Posted December 29, 2017 Share Posted December 29, 2017 11 hours ago, Shandon Par said: A recurring theme for my missus.. ”is that the sun or the moon?” (note faint half moon over the hill) Well? Don't keep us in suspense. Which is it? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HenryHill Posted December 29, 2017 Share Posted December 29, 2017 12 hours ago, Shandon Par said: A recurring theme for my missus.. ”is that the sun or the moon?” (note faint half moon over the hill) Tell her its a deathstar the chinese are building. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coprolite Posted December 31, 2017 Share Posted December 31, 2017 Eventually git round to watching Saunders v Lemieux, which wad in Montreal. She asked if Lemieux was French, because it sounded like that's what his corner were speaking. I said I thought he was Canadian. her:"why they speaking french then"me:"french canadian"her:"is canada french?"me:"they mostly speak English but Quebec is a majority French speaking province"her:"so canada speaks french?"me:"and english and probably a few native languages too"her:"so you're telling me if i went to the french alps they'd speak Canadian?"me:"eh? wha...? ....fucking hell! bwahhahah etc." 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dysartrovers Posted January 1, 2018 Share Posted January 1, 2018 Just watching the Edinburgh fireworks out the window and the TV at same time and said there would be a slight delay and she asked which one would be delayed 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ziggy Posted January 1, 2018 Share Posted January 1, 2018 “Are the Proclaimers brothers?” 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Moomintroll Posted January 1, 2018 Share Posted January 1, 2018 “Are the Proclaimers brothers?” If that happened then close thread. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DA Baracus Posted January 1, 2018 Share Posted January 1, 2018 On 28/12/2017 at 20:09, Shandon Par said: A recurring theme for my missus.. ”is that the sun or the moon?” (note faint half moon over the hill) They're the same person! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dindeleux Posted January 1, 2018 Share Posted January 1, 2018 My other half seems to think that everything happens in a straight line either vertically or horizontally.Her sister lives in Dundee and they were going to Newcastle. Her sister drove from Dundee to Kilmarnock and then with her to Newcastle. When I suggested meeting her in Newcastle as it would be quicker for them she said “Dundee is further up than we are”. I explained the whole west/east thing to her but she never understood even though I used google maps to confirm my point.We are on holiday for new year and the resort is quite circular in shape. Behind the reception/bar you can head out to the driving range. However if you go from our villa you can cut across to the driving range too and avoid going to the bar. I showed her this today and it blew her tiny mind and then caused a small argument as she accused me of making her “be thick”. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted January 1, 2018 Share Posted January 1, 2018 Had Jools Holland on tv on in the background earlier. Soul II Soul were playing. Wife points at singer and says "isn't she dead?". I was not in a position to answer but she continued "so who is that singing?". Made my head hurt trying to work that all out. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gkneil Posted January 12, 2018 Share Posted January 12, 2018 Was watching the Metallica ‘Some Kind of Monster’ and Kirk Hammett was on the screen. The wife came in, looked at the screen, stopped dead in her tracks and cried ‘what has happened to Tiger Woods!!’ 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted January 25, 2018 Share Posted January 25, 2018 In the cinema earlier. A trailer comes on for I, Tonya. A biopic (looks very funny) about Tonya Harding. Redneck, foul-mouthed trailer trash (according to the trailer) ice skater who paid to get rival's legs broken. The trailer is all about Tonya Harding, her name is mentioned many times and ends with the name of the film again (I, Tonya). Even if you knew nothing about her or her story or had never even heard the name you'd have a pretty good idea by the end of the trailer. At the end, missus leans over and asks "Who is Tonya?". 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
anotherchance Posted January 26, 2018 Share Posted January 26, 2018 I told the Mrs ages ago that Jeremy Corbyn was Jeremy Beadle, and he’d decided on a name change so people took him seriously on his new chosen career path.She’s still going about completely under the impression that the leader of the opposition in this country used to offer £250 a pop to folk sending in videos of their dugs doing acrobatics. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
D.A.F.C Posted January 26, 2018 Share Posted January 26, 2018 On 01/01/2018 at 13:59, Shandon Par said: Had Jools Holland on tv on in the background earlier. Soul II Soul were playing. Wife points at singer and says "isn't she dead?". I was not in a position to answer but she continued "so who is that singing?". Made my head hurt trying to work that all out. That's Jazzie B. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
die hard doonhamer Posted February 1, 2018 Share Posted February 1, 2018 We were in the car the other day, and the fuel light was on, but still plenty there. The wife comes out with "the engine sound like it's ran out of fuel".It was still running. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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