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Annoying things people write on Facebook


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Between the poems and the brotherhood of men who give a damn I’m doing a lot more speedy scrolling on this thread than I used to. Bit like my facebook use when the newsfeed gradually became just a succession of people tagging each other in ancient memes and writing stuff like “Shared Cranhill” and “Be a wear”.

Edited by The OP
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2 minutes ago, Swarley said:

What was the infamous P&B quote? "you yes you the averagey looking c0cktease..."


ETA: f**k you you cockteasing bitch!!!

Edited by Menzel
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Feel free to take the piss. Here is quite a long one from the vaults...
The unformed flowers beneath fertile earth
have felt the quakes and heard the howling voice 
of the winds of change turning weather vanes 
to point the path of fleeing steeds 

The crack of thunder and the static radio 
cast aside through countless generations 
captures the attention of a red-hooded child
with his sattelite transmitted reflection

He survived alternating elemental onslaughts 
at the side of stone bottomed mirrors 
on slowly shortening afternoons spent wandering 
with geese and greyhounds 

Watching his parents' countless spare pennies 
feed the mouths of imagination capturing quacking ducks 
with the bread of yesteryear

Alien nations on the other side of a bookcase mounted globe
Contain strange shapes in an endless sandpit
And sleighs outside ice houses all year round

The silent snowflakes fill abandoned playground corners
Seen from the dry side of a steamed up classroom window
Hovering canes enforce forgetability of flying carpets, elves, 
pointed hats, housebound dream girls, undiscovered pearls

In this white walled stained and peeling maze
Unfamiliar laughing faces, worthless lessons
Why mummy? must I learn each loathsome letter
So many numbers of hands in an emptying lunchbox
I wish I could colour, colour away the yellowing purple patches of another day...

The smells of stale cigarette smoke and decaying leftovers
Remind him of every school day avoiding the circulating cattle within the summer time sanctuary of wasps 
Fearing the felt tip scars upon his chalk white face
Willing himself invisible while avoiding the sting of erasers

One day a woman came to see him
Upon a cloud of overpowering perfume holding a notepad
She asked unanswerable questions
Of a scribbled out and scrawled memory
The fragile silent shield in one-sided wars of words
Sleeping open eyed upon an upright bed
He dreamed in wordless, velcro staring admiration
The unobtainable, unacknowledging females
Remind him of fairy tales he almost forgot
The scent of lemon zest on his fingers
Remind a mind that can never be cleansed
Each succellent segment snatched and harvested
Only serves to carve out lines of worry

He thought of his father with faraway eyes
Leaving him alone for reasons unknown
Sitting on a stone cold doorstep, a key in his hand
But he can't go inside...
...crawling, pulsing walls....a womb of monstrosities
Bloodcurdling cries for help
Carve their way out of a familiar throat
As cockroaches emerge from his every pore
The bloodshot accusations in the bathroom mirror
Shop windows, TV screens, his childhood mocking him from photo frames
The shell of a smile below cold, glassy eyes
Staring fragments and the sound of ringing doorbells
Unheard by blinded windows through a life alone... leave me that way, this has nothing to do with you...
Scotch courage can numb this pain
Days to weeks to months spent in the oblivion
Until the unmarked end...

...Of a lifetime speaking the static he'd heard long ago
Discriptions of alien nations he'll never know
He'd fallen through the bottomless mirror passed by long before
Persued by hawks and hellhounds who found him wandering alone
Unseen creatures fed by his thoughts on forgotten afternoons 

But the nightmares were over now...

New minted sunbeams kissed his face
Welcoming to a morning he thought he'd never see
The waving hands of trees and the heralding birdsong
Touch emotion he'd never noticed
The bookcase portrayal of unborn dreams
Showed him a world he'd yet to visit
Undiscovered treasures, pearls, diamonds and girls
But he realised he'd seen the greatest of all
Being alive to see a brand new day
He blossomed out of bed toward the smell of his breakfast...

Doesn't rhyme. Not a proper poem.
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10 minutes ago, Richey Edwards said:

Oh, you want rhymes? I'll give you rhymes.

Misplaced pieces of pathetic prose
Fell as paper snowflakes with a radiant glow
Indistinguishable from the aged daisy chains
Strewn across the meadow's ripened blades
Softly whispered simplicities tingle my spine
The faintest flicker of a smile ignites something inside
Our grasps intertwined around those imperfect curves
She wished she'd been crafted like the other girls
Her flabby figure flawlessly fondled by fading khaki
She looks so out of place and the sky is full of rabbits
She swore escaped her scarlet hutch
It's true that grimy rainclouds have such luck
Enticing weary honeycomb glances
Giggling in the drizzle over moments dampened
Outlasting patches peeled free from hand-me-down satchels
Slung on the denim slope I once passionately travelled
Finding myself addicted to her cherry palate
Unspeakingly engaged in an alien language
These sensations make sure I understand
Frigid gestures indicate her chosen path
As I figit in the warmth of rosy cheeks
Anticipating an aching, fevered peace
This perfection is only tainted by acceptance
Of affection from someone so wretched
Bemoaning my inability to fly, or even glide
Observing all that's mine, I've even touched that sky
It grumbled and spat in my outstretched palm
But the storm's blackened eyes still shone like stars
I lazily sketch and claim their spark as my desire
Her fairweather feathered friends; another absent choir
Spreadeagled in the sand we savour an awful racket
Such beauty sails upon the scent of scorching plastic
Scattering forks and napkins across awkward scenes
If only playful senses so cruelly teased
I'd surprise her with a bunch of bruised bananas
But they would burst all over her canvas hamper
Crammed with what resembles an entire fruit and vegetable section
While I'm the caterpillar on a single wilted lettuce
She picked especially for an ordinary occasion
As we named every cloud after the sounds of daybreak

You should post that on Facebook.....

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