Strange dreams

[Smurph]

I was on a plane with my friend flying somewhere, and we hit some really bad turbulence so we dropped pretty rapidly and we were now flying right above a bustling city centre. For some reason, the plane wasn't able to control itself, so suddenly me and my friend were in the car which was towing this plane (like a kite) driving around the city trying to make sure we could get it to land safely somewhere. Ended up crashing the car and respawned in the plane, which then crashed into a building. So I died twice.

And last night I bought a 42' TV to replace my tube TV I have in my room now. Turns out that the website was lying, and it wasn't actually any bigger and was also a square screen instead of wide, just thinner.

Edited November 11, 2014 by Smurph

[throbber]

I have one that I'm cleaning the screen of my macbook but in the cloth there is a hidden nail and i scratch the screen to f**k

[sjc]

I had a dream about 5 or 6 weeks back that I was making a chocolate cake with my ex gf's youngest daughter.......it was a nice dream but the realisation that it wasn't real upon waking made me sad

[jamamafegan]

Belter of a dream last night.

I was in a giant house and there was a big cat on the loose. Me and my parents were checking every room. As we descended the stairs I turned round to see a black puma type cat on the windowsill outside staring at us.

We went up to the window and all I was interested in was getting photos on my dads phone. The puma was sticking its claws under the window and growling. It decided to leave and go down onto the road. It was in the bushes when a couple of kids unwittingly strayed to close and the puma attacked, leaping on one and biting his face. I ran down the street to the scene and drop kicked the puma in the face. I went to pick up an iron pole to fight the animal and was delivering some heavy blows.

This is the mental bit. Some fat kid, who was somehow an arsehole in this dream, stepped in and sang Dougie Macleans "Caledonia". He knew what he was doing, because as he sang the beast lay down and started to sleep! The puma had been defeated with the power of Scottish music. Who knew eh. That fat kid knew anyway.

[Dee Man]

I had a dream about 5 or 6 weeks back that I was making a chocolate cake with my ex gf's youngest daughter.......it was a nice dream but the realisation that it wasn't real upon waking made me sad

[sjc]

pedobear_answer_2_xlarge.jpeg

Don't be a twat all your life.

[ScotlandGer]

Two weird dreams last night which I'm putting down to too much alcohol + food over the past couple of days with the Ireland game and friends visiting for dinner last night. They were those type of dreams you remember really distinctly, as normally I forget dreams after a few minutes.

The first I was walking around a small town looking for a car parking space, but there were lots of people milling around getting in my way. The people were annoying me because they walked really slow. I finally found one and headed off to get my car. I walked into an underpass and, the former American singer, Anastacia, was sitting there and appeared to be homeless. We talked for a wee bit and then we both walked off together.

I should say that I have no idea why I would be dreaming of Anastacia as I don't know any of her songs, and all I can remember about her is she sang rubbish pop songs and always wore glasses.

I woke up at this point ...

The second dream was that Jesus had come back and stood at the edge of a big field of corn or tall grass. People were travelling from all over to talk to him and a big crowd gathered. Then, Judas walked up to him and tried to ask him a question. Jesus told him to go away and to sit at the edge of the road. When he sat down a health-bar, like you have in video games, appeared above his head. The crowd gathered round Judas and watched his health-bar deplete.

[throbber]

Is your MacBook on credit?

Nah

[Ya Bezzer!]

I had a dream the other night about a green zit on my shin. I scratched the top off and below it I could see some what looked like the inside of some sort of citrus fruit. I started digging at it and soon realised I had a lime growing in my leg. I managed to dig it out and was dead chuffed as although it was a bit battered I was going to chop it up and use it in my drink.

This signifies healing from a relationship break up.

[DAFC]

Had a weird one about the start of the Gulf War or some war.

Somehow Saddam Hussien was back and running Iraq and before another war was about to start there was a buildup of troops waiting on the border. For some reason I was invited into some sort of control centre that was more like a coorporate box, and everyone was laughing and joking about the weapons of mass destruction that Saddam had. A countdown started then lots of nuclear bombs went off in the distance. I called John Precott a twat and walked out. The local Asda store was next door so went in there.

[DA Baracus]

Had a pretty powerful and vivid dream last night.

In it, I married my ex-girlfriend. We got married in what was supposed to be Aberdeen (where she lives/lived and where I met her) but was clearly a house in Rosyth not far from where I used to live (just had a quick Google Maps; it was just off Ramsey Place). For some reason there was a tradition where a ceremonial knife was placed in a mini cheese baguette. After getting married to her, I did this, and what was supposed to be a special ceremonial knife was clearly the cheap as f**k Tesco Basics one I have in my kitchen. It was too big for the mini baguette, which was supposed to be a bad omen. The marriage took place in a small kitchen. My parents weren’t there and didn’t know about it. There was a strong seam of melancholy running through the dream as I knew this wedding wouldn’t last, and indeed had planned to divorce her in a couple of years. That thought was running through my head as I was walking down a street, which appeared to be a combination of a couple of streets (one from Rosyth and one from Aberdeen) set at a steep angle.

I haven’t seen my ex-girlfriend or had any contact with her at all since 2011.

The dream then took a strange twist where it turned out I had a 2 year old daughter. My parents were walking with her towards me on a path through a field in some place I’ve never seen before. She was a bit scared of me at first as she misunderstood a joke (she was remarkably smart in terms of being able to speak) but then was fine, and it all suddenly seemed natural.

Strange stuff.

[sjc]

Had a pretty powerful and vivid dream last night.

In it, I married my ex-girlfriend. We got married in what was supposed to be Aberdeen (where she lives/lived and where I met her) but was clearly a house in Rosyth not far from where I used to live (just had a quick Google Maps; it was just off Ramsey Place). For some reason there was a tradition where a ceremonial knife was placed in a mini cheese baguette. After getting married to her, I did this, and what was supposed to be a special ceremonial knife was clearly the cheap as f**k Tesco Basics one I have in my kitchen. It was too big for the mini baguette, which was supposed to be a bad omen. The marriage took place in a small kitchen. My parents weren’t there and didn’t know about it. There was a strong seam of melancholy running through the dream as I knew this wedding wouldn’t last, and indeed had planned to divorce her in a couple of years. That thought was running through my head as I was walking down a street, which appeared to be a combination of a couple of streets (one from Rosyth and one from Aberdeen) set at a steep angle.

I haven’t seen my ex-girlfriend or had any contact with her at all since 2011.

The dream then took a strange twist where it turned out I had a 2 year old daughter. My parents were walking with her towards me on a path through a field in some place I’ve never seen before. She was a bit scared of me at first as she misunderstood a joke (she was remarkably smart in terms of being able to speak) but then was fine, and it all suddenly seemed natural.

Strange stuff.

Was this before or after you hit on your homosexual boss?

[Hedgecutter]

Part of my dream the other night involved me climbing out of a car which had driven into the goals during a Brechin game and smashed up into the front of the Glebe Park Terrace. The Annan goalkeeper wasn't too happy about it.

I know that last nights was crazy but I can't name one thing out of it... if that makes any sense.

[DA Baracus]

Was this before or after you hit on your homosexual boss?

Clearly well before.

Part of my dream the other night involved me climbing out of a car which had driven into the goals during a Brechin game and smashed up into the front of the Glebe Park Terrace. The Annan goalkeeper wasn't too happy about it.

I know that last nights was crazy but I can't name one thing out of it... if that makes any sense.

A good, if extreme, idea to stop you losing goals.

[Ebanda's Handyman Services]

Bizarre dream I had last night...

Walked in to Bar Itza (Now Fifty high st) in Kirkcaldy and held the door open for a couple and their Jack Russell dog on their way out.

Looked at the dogs arse and it had a perfect white square surrounding it's hole but it had brown dots in each corner of the square so it looked like a dice had landed on number five.

Very close to beating my disco dancing T-Rex dream, that one.

[sjc]

I was looking after a pug dog, trying to load an engine onto the back of a flat bed lorry when Steve from my work phones and tells me a riot has broken out in the building.

We have a winner!

[Jan Vojáček]

Last night I dreamt that I was lost with my brother in a car park somewhere in Soviet Russia. My phone couldn't get a signal and I spent what felt like hours wandering around this car park. I saw a guy I know and asked to use his phone to call my Mum to ask for a lift back but he only spoke Russian- disappointing if unsurprising considering where I was- until the messiah appeared. Ian Holloway. He was stood loading old Farmfoods bags (the blue and white stripy ones from the early 00s) into his car. He told me he didn't trust me to use his phone but he'd try something else. He shut his eyes and started humming and my Mum appeared behind me a few seconds later. By this stage my brother had walked off but neither of us were bothered so we left him in Russia and went home.

My only other really strange one was that when the devil chased me through Drumchapel. I actually woke up sweating from that although it's probably not normal for a 6 year old to have the devil appearing in his dreams.

[andyh]

I have the most boring dreams ever. They used to include cycling to the shops or tidying my room, but recently I've been having the same dream (2 or 3 times a week) where I have a long and incredibly stressful day at work. The dream is then followed by actually having to get up and go to work. It's really starting to piss me off

This^^^

Recently it's been nearly every night!

[Fudge]

I had a dream that someone had given me a snow leopard as a present. Not a sponsorship of one, an actual snow leopard.

I woke up in a panic because leaving a leopard unattended could f**k things up significantly so I shook my girlfriend awake and was shouting 'where's the fucking leopard, where is it???' Bit of a minter when I realised it was a dream.

[BFTD]

Had a nightmare when I was about 4 that has always stuck with me. I was wandering around a corridor in a dark mansion with the characters from Willo The Wisp, and we were all tiny, no taller than the skirting boards. One of the characters (don't remember which, but not Evil Edna) managed to get trapped in the jamb of one of the big heavy doors, and was horribly mutilated as a result, staggering around in agony. All the other characters started freaking out and running around hysterically.

Around the same time, I started an annoying recurring dream. I'd be playing in a sandpit in our back garden, and I'd eventually realise that it was night time, so something weird was going on. Soon as that dawned on me, a beast would leap over the fence at the far side, and me in the dream wouldn't have noticed (all my dreams are in third-person). The creature would give out some horrible growly howl, and I'd wake up instantly.

Also used to have 'screamers' when I was a bairn, before the internet introduced everyone to the concept. I'd be having a nice normal dream, then suddenly something horrible would burst through like the dream was on a projection screen, and would shriek/scream/growl/whatever. Bolt upright in the bed at 2AM; pain in the arse.

Only remember ever having two non third-person dreams. One was when I was a teenager, and I'd been employed to burgle some rich Mafioso-type's mansion for some important artefact that he has squirrelled away somewhere. All went swimmingly until I was escaping, when I was caught, handcuffed, and strung up by the cuffs in the bloke's wine cellar. He wasn't best pleased, and got a couple of his goons to saw my legs off in inch-thin slices, like they were making steaks. Not a problem until the saw hit my flesh, then I started actually feeling real-life agonising pain, and the dream went on for a long time. Eventually I died (only dream-death I've ever had), and I woke up some time later, sheets saturated with sweat and pish.

The other first-person dream was like a murder-mystery film, with corpses turning up all over a small town, the victims clearly having been horribly tortured and mutilated before they died. I was the stock detective character who was investigating. I wandered around collecting clues and talking to residents over a period of days (in a single dream), but nothing was making any sense and there weren't any suspects.

I'm having a pleasant, casual conversation about the whole affair with an elderly local resident outside of a petrol station in the middle of nowhere, when I suddenly start joining dots in my head and realise that she's the killer, and she's actually some kind of Lovecraftian monster in human guise. At the same time, I also realise that the sun's gone down, the petrol station has closed behind us, and there's nobody else around. She/It must see the look on my face and realises that I've worked it out, gives me an indescribably horrifying look, and I wake up screaming. Never been close to being so terrified by anything else.

I'm well overdue some baby-oil & boobs dreams TBH.