Lets All Laugh At Rangers Thread

[dave.j]

You took a photo of a sports shop

On yerself son....

^^^^^^

Bennett, just back from hiding Celtic Views behind copies of the Beano, at his local Asda.

[thepundit]

McCall seems to place a great emphasis on a content, happy squad, rather than a fit and disciplined one and if the locals down Ibrox think that this man is going to get them back to the top then they are in for an almighty shock.

To be honest I'd be more shocked if he won the Premiership at Rangers. Maybe not "shocked", but more pleasantly surprised.

That's not to say I expect he'll fail, but simply an acceptance of the fact the odds are stacked against Rangers and they have to get the rebuilding job correct.

Rangers have it all to do to match the level Celtic are currently at, and I don't think a few failed attempts at winning the Premiership would shock anyone.

Of course, Rangers have to get promoted first of all which, rather embarrassingly, may not happen. That said, whatever league Rangers are in the board need to give McCall their full backing, give him some transfer funds and allow him to bring in at least 7 or 8 signings in the summer.

Edited March 20, 2015 by thepundit

[accietilleyedye]

give him some transfer funds and allow him to bring in at least 7 or 8 signings in the summer.

[Monkey Tennis]

That said, whatever league Rangers are in the board need to give McCall their full backing, give him some transfer funds and allow him to bring in at least 7 or 8 signings in the summer.

I assume you've now taken to parodying yourself, in pursuit of cheap laughs?

You want Rangers to pay transfer fees for seven or eight players? None of the clubs that aren't haemorrhaging monthly fortunes can do that, yet you want Rangers to.

You are my absolute, unequivocal, all-time favourite.

[AberdeenBud]

The legend returns.

[sjc]

The Pundit appears to have a complete lack of awareness!

Gotta love thise Rangers fans

[thepundit]

I assume you've now taken to parodying yourself, in pursuit of cheap laughs? You want Rangers to pay transfer fees for seven or eight players? None of the clubs that aren't haemorrhaging monthly fortunes can do that, yet you want Rangers to. You are my absolute, unequivocal, all-time favourite.

I'm not suggesting every player brought in would command a transfer fee. Ideally, McCall or whoever is in charge will be given a transfer budget which they will use wisely to complete the massive rebuilding job required. It's going to take a mixture of free transfers, low-end transfer fee's and possibly a few loan signings.

The Pundit appears to have a complete lack of awareness!

I'm aware the squad needs more quality. This is also accepted by the board.

And I don't think they believe they'll get anywhere near Celtic by bringing in only free transfers.

I may be wrong.

Edited March 20, 2015 by thepundit

[Gaz]

It's going to take a mixture of free transfers, low-end transfer fee's and possibly a few loan signings.

Which the fans won't stand for. Because they want to pretend they're still a big club.

[dave.j]

Compete with Celtic.

[Miguel Sanchez]

I'd say it's telling that any Rangers fan would have the chief method of improving their team as "7 or 8 signings" rather than "completely gut and restart the way the team and the club is structured to bring in a model of successful self-sustainability"

Still funny, mind.

[sjc]

I'm not suggesting every player brought in would command a transfer fee. Ideally, McCall or whoever is in charge will be given a transfer budget which they will use wisely to complete the massive rebuilding job required. It's going to take a mixture of free transfers, low-end transfer fee's and possibly a few loan signings.

I'm aware the squad needs more quality. This is also accepted by the board.

And I don't think they believe they'll get anywhere near Celtic by bringing in only free transfers.

I may be wrong.

What part of "running at a considerable loss" don't you understand? Or are you expecting King or the 3 Bears to pick up the tab?

[thepundit]

I'd say it's telling that any Rangers fan would have the chief method of improving their team as "7 or 8 signings" rather than "completely gut and restart the way the team and the club is structured to bring in a model of successful self-sustainability"

Still funny, mind.

Self sustainability is the long term goal. Initial investment is required right now. Maybe, to quote Dave King, "north of £20m".

In my opinion, the coach, whoever that may be, will need around £5m of that money in the summer to spend on incoming transfer fee's.

[CityDave]

I'm aware the squad needs more quality. This is also accepted by the board.

And I don't think they believe they'll get anywhere near Celtic by bringing in only free transfers.

I may be wrong.

Aberdeen are currently 3 points behind Celtic with a team almost entirely made up of free transfers. In the last two seasons Aberdeen have only paid one transfer fee for Kenny McLean from St. Mirren. Two seasons it took for McInnes to turn Aberdeen from midtable underachievers to genuine title challengers. It can be done without throwing millions at building a squad.

[SodjesSixteenIncher]

Self sustainability is the long term goal. Initial investment is required right now. Maybe, to quote Dave King, "north of £20m".

In my opinion, the coach, whoever that may be, will need around £5m of that money in the summer to spend on incoming transfer fee's.

WARCHEST

[Miguel Sanchez]

Self sustainability is the long term goal. Initial investment is required right now. Maybe, to quote Dave King, "north of £20m".

In my opinion, the coach, whoever that may be, will need around £5m of that money in the summer to spend on incoming transfer fee's.

I honestly don't know why, after having seen the state Rangers have been in for however long it is, you would want that sort of money spent purely on what would be first team players.

[thepundit]

Aberdeen are currently 3 points behind Celtic with a team almost entirely made up of free transfers. In the last two seasons Aberdeen have only paid one transfer fee for Kenny McLean from St. Mirren. Two seasons it took for McInnes to turn Aberdeen from midtable underachievers to genuine title challengers. It can be done without throwing millions at building a squad.

I wouldn't agree with that. Aberdeen have done well but I don't think they've been anything more than a solid B+ Player in a one team league.

You're right when you say though that a great team can be put together on a shoe-string budget. But that method almost always ends in failure so it would be a risky strategy for Rangers. And, despite all McInnes has done, he's still failed too, if we're talking credible title challenges.

I honestly don't know why, after having seen the state Rangers have been in for however long it is, you would want that sort of money spent purely on what would be first team players.

It's only my opinion, but £5m shouldn't be out of the question. To put it into perspective in terms of Rangers, Walter spent nearly £20m in the summer of 2007 when he needed to build a team to replace Le Guen's players.

[1320Lichtie]

Yes but that club died after doing that

[SodjesSixteenIncher]

Putting the absolute delusion of a £5m war chest aside for one second. Sevco couldn't even spend big bucks on transfers properly if they had that cash.

Nobody who's genuinely worth any kind of transfer fee would want to go there. The only to spend millions on players would be to offer ridiculously over the top amounts for players that aren't good enough to go to the likes of Brentford.

Which I believe has already been tried at Ibrox recently. A new WARCHEST! would have to go on Templetons, not Cuellars.

[Miguel Sanchez]

It's only my opinion, but £5m shouldn't be out of the question. To put it into perspective in terms of Rangers, Walter spent nearly £20m in the summer of 2007 when he needed to build a team to replace Le Guen's players.

Since I don't feel like going to bed, let's have a look at what that 20 million got you

Kevin Thomson - 2 mil (A good signing that had value in terms of the player Thomson was at the time and which ultimately got value back as he went to Middlesbrough for the same price)

DaMarcus Beasley - .7 mil (A relatively negligible amount of money and one that was largely repaid, even if he was injured a lot. His performance away to Lyon alone probably brought that back)

Carlos Cuellar - 2.37 mil (A good signing and sold on for profit - something that Scottish clubs should do, as Celtic have done with players in recent years, it remains to be seen what would happen if Rangers did it on a regular basis. If I remember right Cuellar was one of the few that was sold on for a profit like that, and it didn't go down well)

Lee McCulloch - 2.25 mil (Every penny well-spent, I'm sure everyone will agree)

Steven Whittaker - 2 mil (see Thomson regarding his stature at the time, can't say much for the fee he brought in since he left after liquidation)

Steven Naismith - 1.9 mil (the same, though I'd say he was better on the pitch than Whittaker)

Daniel Cousin - 1.1 mil (From what I recall he probably falls into the Beasley camp in that his European performances probably paid for that - but this isn't something Rangers are going to be able to get anything out of in the next what, three years at best? five years even for the CL?)

And since they only total 10 million, the shite he spent money on in 2008, since the job to rebuild the team after Le Guen got hounded out for not delivering instant success:

Andy Webster - .45 mil (What an odd situation that was)

Kenny Miller - 2 mil (Probably paid that back, although again, no re-sell value)

Andrius Velicka - 1 mil ( )

Kyle Lafferty - 3.25 mil ( :lol: :lol:)

Madjid Bougherra - 2.5 mil (a Cuellar replacement who probably could have been sold on like he was, there was some good had from him signing)

Pedro Mendes - 3 mil (3 mil? really?)

Steven Davis - 3 mil (was good, and could easily have commanded that and more back in transfers but for liquidation, think he falls under just being a product of a different time, a thought we'll return to later)

Maurice Edu - 2.6 mil (I remember when this signing happened, there was unrest outside Ibrox over... something, it was before a game then this guy gets wheeled ut and they all shut up. Money well spent, indeed).

Now in fairness, around 11.5 million of that second lot was funded by the sales of Cuellar and Cousin (he for 3.5 million as a 31 year old, somehow) and it's important to remember that there was some level of involvement in the Champions League from Rangers throughout that time, but all this does is reinforce that this is completely non-existent right now. The one player Rangers had with any sellable value was Lewis Macleod, who was out the door at the first opportunity. Potentially to keep the wolves from the door for another week. I've no doubt if Rangers were any more stable at the time they would have kept him, but they didn't. There's going to be no European income from several years, and getting to the Champions League is going to be harder than ever for all Scottish clubs.

Rangers need, for their own sake, to return to some level of success. Throwing money at the team to make this happen, as was the case in the past, is not only completely unfeasible now owing to the completely different circumstances from then and now but is completely impossible in Scottish football. The money that you want and that I've no doubt countless others want in increasingly unrealistic amounts, cannot exist. There will need to be an initial investment of some sort, of course, but to rely on this as a means of instantly improving the team on the park, and then the standing of the club, misses the point of where investment is actually required so spectacularly I can't imagine any Rangers fan has ever actually been able to understand what happened to Rangers over the past twenty years. They spent money they didn't have, on maintaining the team in a way that wasn't possible, to appease a fanbase out of touch with reality (and in comparing the reaction to impending doom of Rangers and Hearts fans, a largely apathetic fanbase), and it fucked them.

If I was Dave King, or someone with a better tax record or illusion of trustworthiness that didn't see my millions stand idly by while a clown car of charlatans rolled up to drain the club he loved so dearly I would sit at a press conference and say the things that would happen while I was in that position. Think Fergus McCann, only with more bored contempt for the people he was addressing. The thing that needs to happen for Rangers, that would be best for Rangers and best for Scottish footballers as far as a club with such resources should be providing Scotland with more than it has and does, is for them to be ruled with a completely non-Rangers man. A man who can see past all the bluster and shite about rightful places, about what they deserve and say, no. It can't happen. This is how to be successful, this is what we're going to do, and if you care about this club as much as you say you do you'll shut up and deal with it.

This would have the added bonus of possibly driving out some knuckle dragging hangers-on of its own doing, rather than having me needing to say "and if you start singing about ******s during a game I'm pulling the team off the park myself," but I digress.

We've seen various clubs the world over survive financial hardships of different sizes and types, hell we've seen how to do it properly in our own country. Yet this doesn't seem to be the most pressing thing that Rangers fans want, or think they need. And to return to the topic of this thread, that's quite funny, since I don't have any emotional investment in it.

[Miguel Sanchez]

Yes but that club died after doing that

Basically what I said in eight words. Maybe the twin attack of verbosity and bluntness will help the message get across.