Depression

[Dons_1988]

42 minutes ago, Genuine Hibs Fan said:

As this is a place that is one of the reliable good natured and supportive lights on here, I don't think bringing in the most interminable debates that occur on the site is a very good idea tbh. 

Fwiw, obvious dotting accounts should be banned, and if folk feel they are being bullied they should speak to mods. I don't think it's fair that people who regularly speak to and of others with contempt on here (not that that covers everyone) are talking about bullying, and short of either people explaining every dot they give (patently ridiculous as an idea) or removing the rep system (seems unlikely), there isn't a solution.

Even if we accept that people are going around dotting all of someone's posts, I don't see any instances where it hasn't been initiated by some pretty direct exchanges of words. To say that dotting is bullying is stretching it massively imo, and I'd doubt it's ever a one way street. Again though, if people feel otherwise in specific circumstances they should speak to the mods or, even, PM the person involved and tell them how it makes them feel; maybe have a bit of a grown up conversation about things, get some closure or productive conversation out of the whole thing.  Or idk we could call them bullies while referring to others as cretins, virgins, no mates, c***s etc because it makes us feel better.

As I say, not the place for this chat and I'll not be responding but it's not something that should sit unchallenged.

I'm loathed to wade in on a dotting debate as I think it is a bit ridiculous.

However, I think the problem is more that people feel they can discard decency they might afford to other people as soon as they feel they hold opinions that they as abhorrent. You see a lot of justification of 'dotting campaigns' or the mob mentality sometimes seen with terms like they're a disgraceful human with disgraceful opinions. Obviously there's a lot of emotive topics discussed within general nonsense in particular but I think it's rare to see an opinion that makes it ok to completely write someone off as worthy of civility or respect.

That might sound like I'm discouraging heated debate, I'm not at all but I think JTS98 is an example where a group of folk decided all bets were off with regards to him and clearly did push him a bit far.

I just don't understand that tbh, as  @DA Baracus says, none of us knows what's going on with people outside the forum.

[Genuine Hibs Fan]

29 minutes ago, Dons_1988 said:

I'm loathed to wade in on a dotting debate as I think it is a bit ridiculous.

However, I think the problem is more that people feel they can discard decency they might afford to other people as soon as they feel they hold opinions that they as abhorrent. You see a lot of justification of 'dotting campaigns' or the mob mentality sometimes seen with terms like they're a disgraceful human with disgraceful opinions. Obviously there's a lot of emotive topics discussed within general nonsense in particular but I think it's rare to see an opinion that makes it ok to completely write someone off as worthy of civility or respect.

That might sound like I'm discouraging heated debate, I'm not at all but I think JTS98 is an example where a group of folk decided all bets were off with regards to him and clearly did push him a bit far.

I just don't understand that tbh, as  @DA Baracus says, none of us knows what's going on with people outside the forum.

This is absolutely correct, of course. We should all think more about that. Why it's only ever condemned around "dotting campaigns" while people who write long dialogues about posters licking each other's boots are sadly "pushed a bit far" will never make sense to me. Vendettas on here in general make no sense to me, I might have the same argument with people on more than one occasion but try not to hold it against them in between.

But you either care about users treatment of each other or not. This selective "be kind" we are seeing isn't a serious conversation

[philpy]

The issue I have with the site is the idiots that accuse people of making up stories, it's a shite thing to do as a lot of people may have had depression issues in regards to the "made up stories". I'm not going in to too much great detail here, but when I went through all the stuff where I claimed to have autism, it wasn't a rouse to get sympathy and make folk feel sorry for me, i witnessed something quite close to home that will stay with me forever,  and still affects my sleep. I was younger then, I didn't know how to cope or reach out to people properly, I was pushing people away. I just thought people might go a bit easier on me, it backfired somewhat spectacularly but people on here still cast it up. 

[Dons_1988]

29 minutes ago, Genuine Hibs Fan said:

But you either care about users treatment of each other or not. This selective "be kind" we are seeing isn't a serious conversation

You've misinterpreted me if you think this is what I said.

[senorsoupe]

I know I live in a place where it snows a lot but the first proper snowfall of the year (which happened yesterday) always gets me down.  Coupled with COVID  fatigue and work being really busy and stressful I've had a rough couple of days.  Yesterday in particular I knew I had some stuff to do around the house but I just couldn't bring myself to do anything.  Hopefully today will be a better day.

[harkinsbaldpatch]

Been a really rough past few months. Lost my gran six weeks ago and my papa passed away last Monday. The wife and myself have split and im currently unemployed. Was taking my dad in and out of Larbert hospital as they found a shadow on his lung which fortunately Wasn't Cancer but he's to go back in 3 months as they don't want to drain the fluid in his lung at this point. I'm sleeping pretty much most of the day and sitting up most of the early hours of the morning and I cant shake myself out of it. I have my papas funeral on Friday and my wife who has moved out is coming to it as I had asked her to but not sure if its the right thing to do. I've had thoughts of ending it but I won't as I know I have family and friends who care about me but I just can't get the niggling thoughts out my head.

[Old Bing]

16 hours ago, DA Baracus said:

Does anyone know of any apps, without ads, that track the number of days you go without a drink?

I've been in denial about my drinking this year. I used to go weeks, sometimes months, without having a drink, but since January I've been drinking every single week. The vast majority of the time it's only been once a week, but this week it was twice. I was off Wednesday, Thursday and Friday last week, so drank on Thursday night, but on Saturday was actually feeling an urge to do it, and eventually gave in.

Sick of it now, and have been denying that it's becoming an issue, but the urges are happening each week now. It isn't every day, but it is every Friday or Saturday (depending on what day I usually do it). I dread to think how much money I've spent on it, because it isn't just a few drinks, it's usually 15-16 beers.

I need cut it the f**k out.

It doesn't count the days for you, but try this.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Kick-Drink-Easily-Jason-Vale/dp/1845903900/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=kick+the+drink+easily+jason+vale&qid=1606193680&sprefix=kick+th&sr=8-1

Yeah I know it sounds cheesy and crap. Its actually a well written and in parts very funny book. Which changed my life completely.

I bought this for a family member, who didn't want it. So I ended up reading it myself. To try to get some insight.

Turns out alot of the habits described applied to me.  And would apply to alot of people im sure. So it was kind of a wake up moment for me. I was on a path, I just didn't know it. Or was in denial. 

Nearly 5 years without alcohol now, never felt better and couldn't imagine ever drinking again. 

If you don't want to pay £10.99 pm me and ill post you my old copy. Seriously.

Edited November 24, 2020 by BingMcCrosby

[D.A.F.C]

Does anyone know of any apps, without ads, that track the number of days you go without a drink?
I've been in denial about my drinking this year. I used to go weeks, sometimes months, without having a drink, but since January I've been drinking every single week. The vast majority of the time it's only been once a week, but this week it was twice. I was off Wednesday, Thursday and Friday last week, so drank on Thursday night, but on Saturday was actually feeling an urge to do it, and eventually gave in.
Sick of it now, and have been denying that it's becoming an issue, but the urges are happening each week now. It isn't every day, but it is every Friday or Saturday (depending on what day I usually do it). I dread to think how much money I've spent on it, because it isn't just a few drinks, it's usually 15-16 beers.
I need cut it the f**k out.

Get a calender on the wall.

[Stellaboz]

A Kelly Brook calendar. 

[welshbairn]

13 hours ago, harkinsbaldpatch said:

Been a really rough past few months. Lost my gran six weeks ago and my papa passed away last Monday. The wife and myself have split and im currently unemployed. Was taking my dad in and out of Larbert hospital as they found a shadow on his lung which fortunately Wasn't Cancer but he's to go back in 3 months as they don't want to drain the fluid in his lung at this point. I'm sleeping pretty much most of the day and sitting up most of the early hours of the morning and I cant shake myself out of it. I have my papas funeral on Friday and my wife who has moved out is coming to it as I had asked her to but not sure if its the right thing to do. I've had thoughts of ending it but I won't as I know I have family and friends who care about me but I just can't get the niggling thoughts out my head.

Terrible time but you've got to stay strong for your Dad, he needs you.

[D.A.F.C]

A Kelly Brook calendar. 

Replace drinking with wanking

[Tony Ferrino]

I can down a litre of Whisky in a day. The day after I do that I’m crawling in a fetal position worrying about everything. 
Then I feel fine and do it again.

 

[The_Kincardine]

6 minutes ago, Tony Ferrino said:

I can down a litre of Whisky in a day. The day after I do that I’m crawling in a fetal position worrying about everything. 
Then I feel fine and do it again.

A bottle and a half of whisky/gin/vodka every other day is fucking madness, mate.  I like a drink but it's pretty-much impossible to function well at that level of intake.- especially if you have work/kids.

Despite my reputation I actually know when to stop and am well aware of when having a decent drink rolls over in to being a problem.  I'm also well aware of how needing/wanting a few drams to improve your mood can be destructive.

A fair few others on here have been where you are so keep posting.  You won't be judged and you're on the right thread.

[Tony Ferrino]

14 minutes ago, The_Kincardine said:

A bottle and a half of whisky/gin/vodka every other day is fucking madness, mate.  I like a drink but it's pretty-much impossible to function well at that level of intake.- especially if you have work/kids.

Despite my reputation I actually know when to stop and am well aware of when having a decent drink rolls over in to being a problem.  I'm also well aware of how needing/wanting a few drams to improve your mood can be destructive.

A fair few others on here have been where you are so keep posting.  You won't be judged and you're on the right thread.

Ok, cheers bud.

[pandarilla]

A bottle and a half of whisky/gin/vodka every other day is fucking madness, mate.  I like a drink but it's pretty-much impossible to function well at that level of intake.- especially if you have work/kids.
Despite my reputation I actually know when to stop and am well aware of when having a decent drink rolls over in to being a problem.  I'm also well aware of how needing/wanting a few drams to improve your mood can be destructive.
A fair few others on here have been where you are so keep posting.  You won't be judged and you're on the right thread.

I would very much second this.

[pandarilla]

Been a really rough past few months. Lost my gran six weeks ago and my papa passed away last Monday. The wife and myself have split and im currently unemployed. Was taking my dad in and out of Larbert hospital as they found a shadow on his lung which fortunately Wasn't Cancer but he's to go back in 3 months as they don't want to drain the fluid in his lung at this point. I'm sleeping pretty much most of the day and sitting up most of the early hours of the morning and I cant shake myself out of it. I have my papas funeral on Friday and my wife who has moved out is coming to it as I had asked her to but not sure if its the right thing to do. I've had thoughts of ending it but I won't as I know I have family and friends who care about me but I just can't get the niggling thoughts out my head.

Just one step at a time, mate. That's how you get through these things.

Make a decision if you do want your wife to attend the funeral and stick to it. Then focus on the funeral itself, and help your dad as much as you can. Let him help you, too.

Just take things one at a time, and try not to put everything together.

[NJ2]

Been a really rough past few months. Lost my gran six weeks ago and my papa passed away last Monday. The wife and myself have split and im currently unemployed. Was taking my dad in and out of Larbert hospital as they found a shadow on his lung which fortunately Wasn't Cancer but he's to go back in 3 months as they don't want to drain the fluid in his lung at this point. I'm sleeping pretty much most of the day and sitting up most of the early hours of the morning and I cant shake myself out of it. I have my papas funeral on Friday and my wife who has moved out is coming to it as I had asked her to but not sure if its the right thing to do. I've had thoughts of ending it but I won't as I know I have family and friends who care about me but I just can't get the niggling thoughts out my head.

That’s a rough time indeed mate, and I’m sorry to hear. Feel free to ignore me from here because I’m not in your position but control what you can...the job, look at getting another a job as a job in itself. Spend the time you’d spend working to find a new job. Stick at and you’ll get something I’m sure. Try and get your days back on track, break the chain and just get up early, force yourself. Be active through the day and do what you can to sleep at night.
Remember you have those family and friends who do care and you can talk to them. There’s no shame in struggling with all that on your plate. Keep the chin up and I hope the old man is okay.

Does anyone know of any apps, without ads, that track the number of days you go without a drink?
I've been in denial about my drinking this year. I used to go weeks, sometimes months, without having a drink, but since January I've been drinking every single week. The vast majority of the time it's only been once a week, but this week it was twice. I was off Wednesday, Thursday and Friday last week, so drank on Thursday night, but on Saturday was actually feeling an urge to do it, and eventually gave in.
Sick of it now, and have been denying that it's becoming an issue, but the urges are happening each week now. It isn't every day, but it is every Friday or Saturday (depending on what day I usually do it). I dread to think how much money I've spent on it, because it isn't just a few drinks, it's usually 15-16 beers.
I need cut it the f**k out.

I’ve been here. I cut it out completely in when lockdown started in March. For me it lead to other bad decisions that just made everything worse...decisions I’m still paying for now but it’s okay, I can’t go back in time and change things so we’ll get there. I’m back drinking now but once a week at most and far from the extent I was which is where I wanted to be. Enough of my rambling, I had a quick loop and my App Store has a few, I Am Sober, Sober Today, I Can and Quit That all seem to have daily trackers and some offer wee bits of motivation and that. Hopefully one of those is half decent.
For anyone, if you think you have a drink (or drugs, gambling, smoking) problem then you do. Maybe not as extreme as you’re worried or as others but if it’s playing on your mind it’s a problem. Keep the faith mate, don’t worry if you fall off the wagon, we all have setbacks, all about “going again”. Best of luck man.

[harkinsbaldpatch]

There really is some cracking people on this thanks for the kind words of advice guys.

[RandomGuy.]

No idea if I'm depressed tbh, but I've just pretty much solidly despised myself for the past month.

No idea why it started, but since then theres more and more about myself that I hate. Bad habits I can't stop. Everything seems to be going wrong and I just ignore folk who try to help. Need a break from literally everything for a while tbh.

[Dons_1988]

4 minutes ago, RandomGuy. said:

No idea if I'm depressed tbh, but I've just pretty much solidly despised myself for the past month.

No idea why it started, but since then theres more and more about myself that I hate. Bad habits I can't stop. Everything seems to be going wrong and I just ignore folk who try to help. Need a break from literally everything for a while tbh.

No need to label yourself as 'depressed' or whatever. You're feeling something that needs addressed, whether you recognise that as an illness or not.

Self loathing is probably the most destructive attribute I've got, you've got to be really careful with it. Don't underestimate it. If you feel the need to take a step back from things then do it, and if you want to articulate things in more detail then everyone in this thread is sound.

I know I can be a c**t talking football but would be genuinely interested to listen if you wanted it.